Moony's Sister
by SofiyaTheAlmostWriter
Summary: Isabelle 'Izzy' Lupin is Remus Lupin's twin sister. She's a werewolf, along with Remus. Well what happens when she comes to Hogwarts a year late and meets her brother's friends? Read and find out... T for some language Image is from: /art/The-Marauders-63999381
1. Welcome to Hogwarts

"Well… I'll see you later!" I told Remus, who was giving our trunks to the man putting them in the luggage carriage, as I quickly walked away from him. I could hear him yelling for me to stop, but I just waved a bit, still walking. I got onto the red Hogwarts Express, inspecting everything to soak it all in. _I_, was finally going to Hogwarts.

Our parents had already left; they were both in a hurry, as per usual. Our mother had hugged us both very tightly, and our father had made sure to tell Remus to keep me out of trouble. As much as I loved them, I always wished they'd stop seeing me as the baby of the family; Remus and I were twins, for God's sake.

So far, it was only ten when our family had arrived, so Remus and I were still some of the earliest people to get there. It was so empty that I found an empty compartment in a matter of minutes, which was refreshing. As much as I loved Remus, I didn't need him always around protecting me, making sure I was keeping myself safe.

I sighed a bit, mostly from happiness. Once I'd reach Hogwarts, I'd technically be starting my second year. My father had kept me homeschooled last year, afraid I was much more vulnerable and not so wise when it came to my condition, well, at least not as wise as Remus. Although Remus and I both were werewolves, my parents had always trusted him to stay calm more, especially after my summer before I should have started Hogwarts.

My best friend since I was about five, Leo Smith, had been murdered right before we were supposed to go to Hogwarts, and I'd witnessed it. Remus, my parents, and Leo's parents were the only people who knew about what happened, but they made sure not to talk about it to me. Even if Remus tried to help, it wouldn't work, but that was in the past now.

Eventually, I found myself staring out the window and twirling my locket, so I forced myself to take out a book, to block out the memories. I dug a large fairytale book out of my bag, which contained mostly only essentials. As I read, the train departed, right at eleven on the dot. The story was interesting, but I'd read it before, so it was getting harder and harder to focus.

It must have only been minutes after the train left the station, when I heard the door to my compartment slide open. "Can we sit here? Everywhere else-" a young boy's voice started, but without looking up from my book, I just nodded and waved my hand for them to just sit down.

"I'm taking that as a yes, boys. Thanks," said another boy.

"Yeah, thanks," said the one before.

"Thanks," said another boy, quietly.

"Yes, thank you so much," I heard a familiar voice say and I looked up, seeing a smirking Remus. I almost gasped in surprise, but kept my mouth shut.

"No problem," I said taking my eyes off Remus to not look suspicious. I looked around the compartment, quickly studying the three other boys, who'd apparently not noticed my surprise. Sitting next to me, was a tall boy with light brown hair, glasses, and a proud look in his eye, he was smiling. Across from me, there was an admittedly handsome boy, with shaggy black hair and striking grey eyes, he also carried a bit of a smirk. Next to the boy with glasses, was a short boy, with brown hair; he looked nice enough to me.

There were a few moments of silence, as we all (not counting Remus) summed each other up, but the boy next to me eventually introduced them, "So, I'm James Potter, that one's Sirius Black, that's Peter Pettigrew, and that's Remus Lupin."

"You got a name, love?" asked the one with curly hair, Sirius something I think, while smirking. I was already getting annoyed with him, especially for adding the unnecessary nickname.

"Izzy, or Belle I suppose," I answered, trying to keep my temper down.

"So, your actual name's Isabelle?" James asked, and I nodded, like it was a bit obvious. Again silence.

"So, I'm just going to get back to my book, nice meeting you guys," I said, a bit awkwardly, but I was happy to end the conversation for the most part.

I turned back to my book, but it was taken from me not a minute later. "Oi! What's the big idea?" I yelled at Sirius, who had taken my book, but he just smirked.

"What's the magic word?" Sirius asked like I was a little kid, holding the book back.

I bit my lip again, and then forced out a mumble, "Can I have it back, _please?_"

Sirius just smirked wider, and then taunted, "Sure thing, but only after you give me a little kiss." I glared at him, but he just puckered his lips and closed his eyes, the smirk on his lips still somehow there. The others were watching, James and Peter with interest, and Remus in an angry way. I, myself, was furious, and didn't even realize what I was doing until, instead of my lips softly reaching his, my fist roughly crashed into his nose.

"Ow! What the bloody hell?" Sirius yelled while dropping my book and grabbing his nose.

I hadn't actually meant to hit him, well at least not that hard, because I could feel my own hand throbbing in pain. Quickly, I just stood up, getting my book and bag, and left the room, feeling both annoyed and guilty. _I mean, he is Remus' friend…_

I walked down the train, looking into the compartments until I finally saw two familiar pairs of red heads sitting in one. I slid open the door and they looked up and smiled. "Belle!" the twins exclaimed together.

"Hey guys," I said in reply, sitting down with them. I was looking at Fabian and Gideon Prewett, two Gryffindors, a first year and a third year, whom I had met only a month ago in Diagon Alley.

_Remus had left me in a store for a few minutes to meet up with his friends while I walked around the bookshop when something, or apparently, someone tripped me. It was a tall, redheaded boy who was sitting on the floor, looking at some book that had tripped me. Immediately, he apologized, "I'm so sorry, that wasn't intentional. I'm Fabian, I suppose."_

_I laughed a bit, "it's fine, I'm Isabelle, but don't call me that. Are you looking for Hogwarts books?" _

_Fabian started to speak when a younger version of him walked up next to me; his name was Gideon and he was going into his first year at Hogwarts. _

After our little run-in, I hadn't spoken to them, but we'd quickly bonded. Fabian helped me find books, while I talked to Gideon about how excited we were going to Hogwarts. It was a relief talking to them, like I already had some friends other than my brother.

"Are you okay? You look sort of annoyed," Fabian asked carefully.

"Eh… This guy tried to get me to kiss him, but I kind of lost it, and I think I broke his nose… You know, normal stuff," I responded.

"Who?" Gideon inquired.

"Oh, what was it…Oh yes it was, uh... Sirius Grey, or something, I think? He has long, curly black hair and hangs out with my brother, Remus," I answered thoughtfully.

Fabian laughed a bit, and nodded, "Sirius Black, yeah. He's practically the ladies' man of Gryffindor, even if he is only a second year." I nodded, but something was bothering me.

_Guilt, of course._

I groaned a bit and mumbled, "I'll be right back," and walked out into the hall. As I slowly got back to the other compartment, I looked in through the window in the door. Sirius's nose was oozing with blood, and the boys were still laughing a bit, but it seemed at though none of them had told him how to get it to stop bleeding, even though I knew Remus knew exactly how. I sighed and walked back inside grudgingly.

Stupid guilt.

Sirius

"What the bloody hell is wrong with that witch? I think she broke my bloody nose!" I complained to the guys, whom were all laughing at my expense.

As they were all trying to regain their breath Remus broke the silence, "Sorry, my sister has a horrid temper." He added to his thought, "she's particularly violent too."

"Well she didn't have to punch my bloody… _Wait…_ Did you say _your sister_?" I asked, his words having finally registered in my brain. Peter and James had stopped laughing now, and were starring at Remus, along with me.

He simply nodded, shrugging and said, "Yeah, Izzy is that twin sister I told you about."

"Darn, Remus, we were all hoping she'd be ugly," James said, while snapping his fingers and falling back into his seat dramatically.

"Bloody hell, do you know how to get it to stop bleeding?" I asked looking down at my, now, bloodstained hands.

"I might, " Remus admitted, but he opened his book and starting to read. I opened my mouth to say something when the she-devil, herself, came in. Without a word, Remus' sister took out a handkerchief and pinched my nose with it, forcing me to sit a bit forward. It was awkward and uncomfortable, but I slowly felt the bleeding stop. She pulled her, now bloody, handkerchief away; I pulled my shirt up a bit, cleaning off my face.

"Thanks" I angrily muttered.

"You're welcome," Isabelle replied flatly and turned to Remus and said, "I'll be with Fabian and Gideon."

He looked up from his book and warned, "tell me if they do anything." None of us were particularly fans of the Prewett twins, and the feeling was mutual, but none of us hated each other.

Isabelle rolled her eyes and said, "_They_ won't, but I'd watch _him,_" gesturing to me.

I stood up angrily. "Oh, trust me, sweetheart, I won't try anything. How about we just don't speak at all, _Lupin_?" I suggested, glaring at her.

"Sounds perfect to me, Grey," she, again, replied flatly.

"My name is Black!" I snapped at her.

"Hm. Weird, I thought you were actually being serious when you said it was Sirius," she mocked.

"I was!" I replied, annoyed.

"But I thought it was Black now?" she asked, looking at me innocently, and I let out a sigh of frustration. The guys were cracking up now and she smirked at my agitation. I glared at her, and she gave me one last smirk and then finally left.

"Remus no offense, but I hate your sister," I muttered, while slumping back into my seat.

_This is going to be a long year. _

Isabelle

"Ahhhhh! We're here!," I couldn't help, but shreik to Fabian and Gideon as I looked out the window to the large castle and jumped up and down in my seat. Even though Gideon was a first year, and really excited, I topped it. "Oh it's so beautiful!"

"Yeah it is, now _let's go_," said Fabian, pulling Gideon and me out of the compartment. We got off the train, and Fabian half-warned, half-taunted, "Don't fall into the Black Lake, you'll be eaten in seconds." He went off to carriages hooked up to very strange, skeleton-looking horses. They made me shiver, but Gideon pulled me along to a very tall, large man, with a very thick beard. He introduced himself as Hagrid, and me along with the young first years followed him to a bunch of small boats. I sat in a boat along with Gideon and a small, blond girl, who he apparently knew. All of us watched the giant castle in front of us, amazed by its beauty. It was huge, black, and you could literally feel the magic aura around it; it already felt like home.

In my opinion, the boat ride was far too short. I hardly got a chance to completely stare at Hogwarts.

While we were getting off the boats, I missed the step, almost falling in, but thankfully, Gideon caught me. "Thanks," I said smiling at him, looking a bit embarrassed. He chuckled and said, "No problem, remember what Fab said."

We walked to a strict, but kind looking lady waiting for the first years. She introduced herself as Professor McGonagall, explaining the four houses, which we were to be sorted in, while walking us to very large doors. I could hear chatter going on inside, and we were sent in. It was a magnificent room, with four long tables, all filled with kids. By the color of the robes, I quickly saw the Gryffindor table, where Remus gave me a thumbs-up, and so did James. It made me smile, as my eyes wandered to the ceiling. It was an exact replica of the night sky, with candle floating; it was my favorite part of the whole room.

We were stopped in front of another long table, only this one was horizontal to us, and had adults whom I could only assume were faculty members. In the middle, there was an old man with a long, white beard, and twinkling blue eyes. It could only be Albus Dumbledore, the headmaster Remus had told me about.

McGonagall put a small stool in the middle between us and the faculty, and then a ratty, old hat on it. We all stared at the hat, wondering what exactly it was supposed to do, when it started to sing. It was utterly amazing; the hat sang a long song, about the founders of Hogwarts, and their beliefs. Remus, of course, had already told me about the houses, and I honestly wasn't sure where I belonged.

After the song was finished, everyone clapped, the first years mostly hesitantly. "Before we begin with the first years, we have a new student this year, going into second year. Isabelle Lupin," Professor McGonagall informed, and then called me. I tried not to shake as I walked up to a stool, carefully sitting down. The hat was put on my head and it started talking to me, in my head, I think.

"Ahh a clever witch I see, with quite a few secrets too." My eyes grew a bit wide, growing more and more nervous. "Don't worry, I'm a hat I won't tell anyone." _Thank you, Mister Hat_. "You're welcome. Anyway… You're kind, but a bit temperamental, clever, but a bit too rash…Very brave, I see, but also you feel a need to prove you can stand on your own… You could really be in any house!" The hat apparently had said the last part out loud and everyone was staring at me. I bit my lip, getting impatient. The hat kept speaking aloud.

"But where to put you, my dear? Hmmm…."

_Okay, you've been at it for five minutes and you just hurry it along please. _

"Fine, yes I choose…SLY-GRYFFINDOR!" it finally exclaimed, and I let out a sigh of relief and smiled as the Gryffindor table began cheering. McGonagall took the hat off my head and I quickly, jogged off to the table. I took the seat next to Remus, and much to my dislike, across from Black. Throughout the sorting, first years were placed in all four of the houses. The little blond girl I'd sat with on the boat was named Eliza and was placed in Hufflepuff, and Gideon was placed in Gryffindor, but he said that was pretty normal in his family.

Once the sorting finished, Dumbledore stood up to speak to us, welcoming us new students, and telling us which places were off-limits. I could hear James whisper to Sirius, "new places for our list," grinning, and then the feast began. The food was absolutely delicious, and even though I was sitting across from Sirius Black, Remus told me all about the castle, so nothing could ruin my mood. It was a lovely first night at Hogwarts.

"Hey James!" I yelled in his ear when I saw his sitting in the common room. James jumped from surprise, knocking over his inkbottle all over his parchment.

"Ah! No! I dropped ink all over my potions homework!" James started freaking out as his whole essay turned dark blue. I rolled my eyes a bit, getting out my wand and sucking out the excess ink from his paper.

"D'you want some help? I finished mine last night." I offered. James nodded a bit timidly, and I laughed a little, sitting down with him. Even though he was Sirius' best mate, James and I got along surprisingly well. He was less arrogant and annoyed than I'd originally thought, and through my couple months at Hogwarts, turned out to be a good friend.

We were working on his essay until I heard a sneering voice a few feet away from us say, "Wow, nice flirting there, Lupin."

I looked up and glared, "shut up, _Black_. I'm not flirting, but what's it to you, anyway? _Jealous?_"

"As if, I just don't want one of my best mates being harassed by some pushy girl like you- or are you even a girl?" Sirius asked, mockingly.

"Still mad about your nose Black?" I asked with gritted teeth, getting angrier. It was the full moon tonight, was I was already more on edge than usual, and Sirius was always trying to get on my back, so he was on my last nerve.

"Yeah, but it barely hurt, you can't even punch," he taunted me, and I couldn't help myself, I jumped onto him. My attack took everyone around us by surprise, including Sirius as I hit him, still sitting on him.

"How's that for not being able to punch?" I demanded, and Sirius got over his shock. He started blocking my punches, and the two of us rolled, each trying to gain the upper hand.

Normally, if any girl, or even most guys our age had tried to fight Sirius, they'd be sent to the infirmary in a matter of seconds. Sirius was strong, and tall for his age, but I had a bit of my werewolf instincts from the moon, and it gave me some more strength. I knew my head would start pounding soon, but I kept fighting.

Most people were just watching the fight, forming a bit of a circle around us, but I felt three pairs of hands grabbing me and pulling me back. Remus, James, and Peter were all holding me back as kicked at them, but Remus took my arms, James took one leg, and Peter took the other leg as they picked me up off the ground.

From across the room, it looked like Sirius was trying to get back to the fight too; two prefects were holding him back. His nose was bleeding and his lip was cut, and I only imagined how I looked.

"Stop! Detention, both of you!" yelled a seventh year prefect, looking furious.

"Make it separated," suggested Remus, not letting me go.

Sirius and I were still kicking at the people holding us so the head girl, exclaimed, "Okay, that's it!" She said two spells and made Sirius and me frozen. I couldn't move and the guys put me down. Remus started to clean blood off my face while James and Peter took Sirius to their room and came back down without him.

James looked at me, concerned and asked, "You okay? You have blood everywhere." I couldn't move to nod, or say anything. "Okay, Iz, I'm going to take off the spell, but please don't move. We still have to visit Mum tonight..." That was our code for the full moon. It was a bad lie, but people bought it anyway.

Remus took the spell off me and I sat down, taking a big breath. "Will you just clean up my face? I feel like it's covered in blood."

"Probably 'cause it is covered in blood," James added as Remus went to finished cleaning blood off my face. Some older students did the best they could with fixing up some cuts, and Madame Pomfrey came in to "take us to see our mother". I could tell she noticed my obviously new bruises and scratches, but she didn't push any questions.

Madame Pomfrey walked us to the Whomping Willow and stunned it, then left. Remus jumped through the hole in the roots, and I followed as we took the long walk to the Shrieking Shack, neither thinking of anything to say.

I slowly opened my eyes to very bright, florescent lights. I looked around, but stopped when I felt a horribly sharp pain in my back and leg. The last thing I remembered was painfully changing back into a human and passing out. Remus and I must have attacked each other, like we do whenever we're together on a full moon. I carefully turned to my right and saw Remus sitting in the bed next to me; sleeping. He was snoring a bit, and I took a moment to examine how he looked. His eye was swollen, with bruises all around it, but I knew that was the least of it. "Remus… Hey Remus, wake up?" I said, first quietly, but then raising my voice. Despite me being careful, Remus woke up with a small jump and cringed from the pain. I bit my lip, asking, "Sorry, you okay Rems?"

"I'm fine Iz, are you okay?"

"I'm fine too." There was the normal, unpleasant silence that always followed the full moon. Finally, I had to speak. "Remus… sorry about last night, it was stupid for me to fight Black-I mean Sirius. I mean, he _is_ one of your best mates," I said and he nodded a bit.

Before he could reply, Madame Pomfrey came in to inform us of our injuries, "good morning Mr. and Miss Lupin. Miss Lupin, I will need to fix your broken leg, and your back is very badly scratched. And Mr. Lupin, I'll need to fix your eye and a few broken ribs."

Remus and I glanced guiltily at each other. We both always blamed ourselves for the other person's injuries even though I never blamed him for mine and he never blamed me for his. We turned away from each, drinking the potions we were given while Madame Pomfrey fixed us up.

Then, we were forced to sleep.

It was almost dinnertime when we woke up, not quite yet healed completely, but we were allowed to leave the hospital wing, with a lot of persuasion on our part. I limped slightly, as we tried to walk normally into the Great Hall. At the Gryffindor table, I sat in between James and Peter; Remus sat next to Sirius and across from me.

"Are you two okay?" James asked right after we sat down, watching us closely.

"Fine, why?" I asked acting like nothing was wrong as I put food onto my plate.

"You were limping," James answered, a-matter-of-factly.

"We-uh, were using floo powder and-uh, I fell when we landed. Right, Remus?" I answered as confidently as I could; I wasn't the best liar.

Remus nodded very quickly, agreeing with me, "Yes, you know how clumsy Izzy is." He gave a weak chuckle as I gave him a small glare.

_Remus, we're horrid liars. Do you think they're honestly that thick? _

_Well they obvious suspect something, but I haven't told them anything._

_Well they're going to figure it out sometime._

_Are you saying that we should tell them? _

No_! Of course not, Remus! We just have to make up a better story. _

_Okay…But I think they're on to us now._

_Why d'you say that? _

I snapped out of it when noticed the hand, snapping, in my face. "Hellooooo earth to Remus and Izzy?" James was waving a hand in my face and Sirius was waving his in Remus's face.

"Uh sorry, what were you saying? Zoned out," Remus said quickly.

"Sure you did, right," said James as Sirius just snorted and I started to glare at him, opening my mouth to say something, but stopped when I saw the look Remus was giving me. I took a deep breath and just continued eating without saying anything, trying to think of a better excuse for the next full moon.


	2. When they found out

"Izzy! Iz! Belle! Bells! ISABELLE ROXANNE LUPIN!" someone yelled, forcing me to wake up. "Ah!" I screamed, almost rolling off my bed. I turned and saw that James was standing over my bed, and Peter and Sirius were standing by Remus's. I looked around and saw the familiar hospital wing and felt the familiar pain throughout my body.

Last night had been another full moon; one of the worst. Remus and I had been especially vicious since it'd been the coldest full moon of the year, early January. I looked at Remus who was already awake and looking very nervous. My eyes grew wide as I looked up at James who had his arms crossed; as did Peter and Sirius.

"How could you two not tell us?" James demanded. "T-tell you w-what?" I stuttered, tried to act clueless, but it was obvious I knew what they were talking about. James rolled his eyes and turned to Remus, "You especially, we have been best mates for over a year and you didn't even want to tell us you're a werewolf?" "I...I…I'm sorry, if you hate us, we understand." Remus said sadly, looking down at his hands. I looked down too and nodded, feeling tears brimming in my eyes. I quickly blinked them back before they fell, but I think Sirius noticed. "We understand if you think we're monsters now, but please don't tell our secret. PLEASE. Everyone would be afraid of us." I said not being able to look into any of their eyes, so I kept my gaze at a spot on the floor.

"We're not going to abandon you-either of you and we're not going to tell anyone your secret." Sirius said, making me look up in shock at him. "He's right, you're our best mates; werewolves or not." Peter said with a smile. "Really?" Remus and I asked at the same time. "Really," they all said at the same time. "Hey that's our thing!" Remus and I yelled simultaneously. We all looked at each other and burst out laughing.

We were all walking to the Great Hall after Madam Pomfrey cured Remus and me. When we were right outside the Great Hall I turned to Sirius and asked, "Sirius can I talk to you out here for a sec?" He nodded and I waved at the others to go ahead without us. He looked at me and I said, "I wanted to say I'm sorry for…King of attacking you a few months ago and for all those other fights with you. So I wanted to say…I'm sorry." Sirius gave me my first friendly smile and said "Yeah, I'm sorry too and sorry for all those names I called you, they were all lies by the way." "So friends?" I stuck out my hand. "Friends," he took my hand and shook it, then we both spit into our hands, high fived each other, turned in a circle, and linked arms with each other. "Uh, wow…" I said in awe. "Great minds think alike I guess," Sirius said with a shrug and we walked into the Great Hall. And from then on, Sirius and I were best friends.

~ABOUT TWO AND A HALF YEARS LATER~

"Wake up Iz! Wake up!" my brother's familiar voice was screaming in my ear, waking me up from my peaceful sleep. He was shaking me hard, but I refused to open my eyes. "We have to get to James's house!" He screamed, but I merely moaned loudly, and still didn't get up. He left my room with an annoyed groan and I smiled, finally being able to go back to sleep. Then again someone came into my room, and threw ice water all over me. I got up as if being electrocuted and screamed, "REMUS JOHN LUPIN! WHAT THE BLOODY HELL WAS THAT FOR?" He burst out laughing and said, "Well now that you're up, get ready and come on we have to go in thirty minutes. I'll pack your stuff, now go take a shower." I got the clothes I would be wearing today and pushed past Remus while muttering unintelligible things.

After my shower I walked down the stairs dressed in shorts, a tank top, sneakers, my locket and a Gryffindor bracelet. I sat down to eat, but Remus pulled the chair back and I fell to the ground. "Sorry sis, no time to eat. We have to _go_," Remus said with a smirk. I glared as he helped me up. We walked up to our fireplace and Remus ordered, "Okay you first Iz, I'll take the bags." I got in the fireplace, grabbed a handful of Flu powder and said, "POTTER HOUSE!"

I was spinning an seeing many different rooms with fire places when…

THUD. I was looking at a ceiling, sprawled on my back.

"Ow," I said to myself while sitting up and rubbing the back of my head. I was sitting down on the floor of James's family room. "Did you hear that, do you think that's them?" I heard Sirius ask from upstairs. I chuckled to myself and yelled "Yeah I think it's them!" while standing up. Sirius and James came to the stairs and yelled, "IZZY!" They both started running down, but Sirius was in the lead. He tackled me in a bear hug while I yelled, "Sirius!" with open arms. We both fell down and Sirius was lying on top of me when we heard another 'THUD'.

"Oi! Get off my sister!" It was Remus with our bags. I nodded and gasped out, "Yes. Can't. Breath." Sirius stood up while laughing and helped me . When I was fully standing back on my feet, I was taken back down to the floor, again in a bear hug. It was James. When Remus basically dragged him up, James helped me stand. Sirius and James casually greeted Remus and I groaned.

"Okay, what is it? Attack Izzy in Hugs Day?" I complained while brushing myself off. The boys laughed and then Sirius pointed a finger at James and boasted, "Ha! I won! Victory is mine!" "Ah shut it!" James yelled back. "Wait…won what?" Remus asked as both of us looked at them, confused. "We had a contest on who would hug Izzy first," James said casually. Remus and I stared at the,. but they merely shrugged. "Okayyyy, anyway can we eat? I'm starved! _Someone_ didn't let me eat before we left the house!" I said, throwing a glare at Remus. "Not my fault you wake up late." He said while shrugging as we walked to the kitchen.

It was after lunch and the four of us were sitting on some couches in the living room, bored, and trying to think of things to do. "Ummm I know! Let's play truth or dare!" I said. They all shrugged and said, "Sure." We all sat in a circle on the floor.

"Okay, Izzy truth or dare?" James asked. "Uh dare I guess?" He laughed and said, "I dare you to…run down my street screaming, "James Potter is a sexy beast and the best prankster of our generation." I shrugged and stood up, going to the door. I walked to the end of James's street and started running down at full speed and screaming, very loudly, "JAMES POTTER IS A SEXY BEAST AND THE BEST PRANKSTER OF OUR GENERATION," multiple times. A ton of his neighbors looked out their windows or their doors, and either glared at me, or laughed. I ran back in and we all sat down again, while the guys were cracking up.

"Happy?" I asked. He smirked and nodded and we kept playing. It was my turn again and I picked truth, and Sirius asked me, "Have you even had your first kiss yet Izzy?" He was smirking because he thought I hadn't. His smirk turned into a frown when I calmly said, "yeah." James and Sirius both yelled, "Who?" Remus, on the other hand was surprisingly calm and looked out the window. "_That _wasn't the question," I pointed out. James and Sirius looked at me, and opened their mouths again, but I beat them to it. "This game is getting boring, so I'm done playing!" I yelled.

I turned to Remus who looked over to me, "Hey Rems, can I talk to you, _in the kitchen_?" He nodded and I took him into the kitchen so the other two wouldn't hear. "You knew?" I asked in shock. He shrugged. "Well, no, but I kind of guessed." "Oh, okay…and Remus?" He looked at me and slightly raised him head, silently telling me to go on. "Thanks for not being a git about it, you're an awesome brother." He smiled "And you're a bad sister for not telling me. I told you about that Ravenclaw," he jokingly scolded. "Okay, if I'm not mistaken I _walked in_ on you two. If I hadn't, you probably wouldn't have told me," I contradicted. He gave me a fake glare and we walked back into the living room.


	3. The Fight

"Bye guys! I'll probably be back around dinner, maybe? Or maybe later than that actually…" I thought aloud as I was saying bye to the three guys sitting on James' couches. I was in front of the fireplace, getting ready to leave to go to the Prewett house for the day. It'd been a while since I'd seen Gideon and Fabian, and as much as I loved Sirius, Remus, and James, they could be a handful.

"Do you really have to go see them?" James asked, obviously irritated.

"Really," Sirius added, crossing his arms. The guys had never gotten along well with the other two ever since they had all declared they were the best pranking duo in Gryffindor.

I rolled my eyes at them, "mind you, I was friends with them before either of you. And it happened in third year, get over it." They didn't look like they were getting over it, so I just turned to Remus. "Bye, Rems, I'll see you later," I added while waving to him, and floo-powdered out.

I felt the familiar spinning, and glances into rooms I'd never seen. And then I landed on a hard wood floor, sprawled out on my back.

I groaned, rubbing my backside, as I stood up, "bloody fantastic_"_. I looked at the small, but very cozy room of the Weasley/Prewett house, and couldn't help but smile. Though I rarely came, the house had always been very homey and just brilliant in my opinion.

"Hello? Anyone here?" I yelled semi-loudly. I heard some bustling, and a flustered young woman came in. I grinned at Molly Weasley, Fabian and Gideon's older sister, and the two little boys that were following her.

"Izzy. Oh how lovely to see you!" Molly exclaimed while pulling me in for a hug. She was eleven years older than I was, but she was a friend, and an amazing person. Only a few years after Molly had finished Hogwarts, their parents had died, and she and her husband Arthur took in Fabian and Gideon.

I beamed at her, "great to see you too, Molly. And Charlie and Bill look absolutely adorable!" I kneeled down to the four year-old Bill, and the two year-old Charlie, who both had the family's flaming red hair. I hugged them both, and ruffled their hair as they giggled, and it made me grin even more.

"Oh, Merlin, where are those two? They were down here not ten minutes ago, and when you're here, poof! They vanish," Molly fussed as I stood up.

"It's fine, I'll just go up to them," I said, smiling as I quietly walked up the stairs to their room.

"D'you think that was her? I could've sworn I heard a thump earlier," I heard Gideon say, and I glared at the door as I walked towards them.

"I dunno, but I'm sure Potter and Black tried to hold her back as much as they could," Fabian answered, chuckling, and I couldn't help but laugh as I leaned against the doorway.

"Yeah, you guys _really _need to get over that," I commented and they both turned to me.

The pair grinned and yelled, "Izzy!" while getting up.

To mock their enthusiasm I yelled, "Fabian and Gideon! My you two have grown, I've missed you with all my soul!" To make it even better, I jumped up onto the two of them, making all three of us fall over.

I smirked in Fabian's face, "missed me too, I presume?" He blew a raspberry in my face as I stood up hastily, reaching out my hands to them.

They both pulled themselves up, but then accidentally pulled _me _down, and I landed straight on my nose. As usual.

I groaned, rolling onto my back as I felt some blood trickle out of my nostril. "Bloody hell, guys. I'm bleeding!" I was being a bit overdramatic, but it was pretty funny at how concerned they looked. It was just a nosebleed, after all. Gideon pulled me up and looked at my face, cringing slightly as he led the way back down to Molly. I stuck my nose out at the eyes, trying not to touch my sore nose as we walked into the kitchen.

Molly had been cleaning Bill, but when she saw me she wagged a finger at the boys. "Merlin's beard she's been here, what? Fifteen minutes and you've already managed to injure her!" The boys shrugged as Molly fixed up my nose, cleaning the blood away.

"Thanks, Molly," I said, smiling a bit as I went back to the living room. I sat down on a couch and crossed my arms stubbornly as the boys sat on either sides of me. I wasn't actually mad, but I wanted to make them suffer a bit before I led that on.

"Izzy… Izzy… We're sorry!" Fabian tried, but I just glanced at him, trying to hold back my smile.

"Honest! We didn't think you'd start bleeding or anything," Gideon added, attempting and failing to hold back a laugh.

"It's fine guys," I laughed out, standing up. "Hey, you know what we- race!" I exclaimed, running out the back door with them following behind me.

Looking around the yard, I noticed the perfect place to get my revenge. I ran as fast as I could, and made sure to slow down right before I reached my target. When they were almost next to me, I abruptly stopped, and they ran right into the large amount of fresh mud, slipping and falling into it. I took a few steps back, laughing to myself as the guys tried to stand up, but when they did they had malicious looks on their faces. My eyes grew as I realized what they were going to do, but it was too late. I was already being put down, right into the mud, yelling some very unladylike sayings.

"Gits!" I yelled at them as I stood up out of the mud, pulling them both back in. Since we were already dirty, we literally had a mud fight, which was actually just about as much fun as a snowball fight.

The rest of the day was filled with tons of laughter, and fussing by Molly about how dirty we all looked, so much that she actually made us all shower as she washed our clothes. We ended up playing a little with Billy and Charlie, who were very fond of both their uncles, I chatted with Arthur a bit(he asked me some questions about muggle things), and just hung out for the day. My hair was still wet by the time I realized how late it really was, and how I had to get back.

It sucked not being able to spend a little more time with the boys and Molly and them, but I'd promised I'd be back. I said my byes, which included: a rib-crushing hug from Molly, a handshake from Arthur, hugs from the kids, and complaints from Gideon and Fabian.

I was grinning from ear-to-ear, until I landed in James' living room and three people were glaring at me. My smile melted slowly, turning into a frown," uh… Hi, guys?"

For a few moments they didn't say anything, until Remus finally opened his mouth. "Hi? Izzy, you're late. And you were out with some bloody boys you know I don't trust!" Remus yelled at me, standing up. The anger in his voice was obvious. It was very lucky that Mr. and Mrs. Potter's room was under a silencing charm.

I was standing in shock. Remus never, and I repeat, _never_, yelled at me. He never acted like he was older than me, and he never dared lecture me. "Sorry, Remus, but it was only an hour… And you can trust them!"

"I don't care! You couldn't at least owled or _something_! How was I supposed to know that you were safe? Do you realize how stupid you can be sometimes? You need to think about the consequences sometimes!" Remus lectured, and my shock turned to annoyance. I opened my mouth to speak, but he interrupted me. "Oh! And why is your hair wet?" he added, as if accusing me of something.

I balled up my fists, trying to keep a low voice, "What do you thinks gives you the bloody right to lecture me? You're ten minutes older than me, so bleepin' what? I'm not some stupid little girl that you can boss around, Remus. For Merlin's sake, Molly was there the whole bloody time! And I fell into some mud, _boo-hoo_, that automatically must mean I'm an idiot who can be tricked into anything! You're a right bloody arse, you are! Enjoy your summer, _without me_."

It was a rash and immature decision, but I was too furious to care. I rushed up the stairs, threw my things into my trunk and stomped down the stairs. The three of them were still there, but I stormed past them without a word. I scowled at Remus for a moment before yelling "Weasley house!"

I was met by Molly, who had been cleaning up the living room. I told her about my fight with Remus, obviously distraught, and Molly offered to let me stay there for the last week and a half of the holiday. I thanked her, and she told me she was just relived to have another girl around the house for a change. She also recommended (well, more forced) me to write James an owl, informing him of where I'd be staying I grudgingly agreed, and Molly took me to the room I'd be staying in. Molly led me to a small room, leaving a piece of parchment and a quill with ink, promising to owl the letter tomorrow for me.

I begrudgingly wrote the letter, and then looked up through the window, groaning. The full moon was just in a few nights. I'd have to spend hours with Remus, alone. I'd also have to think of an excuse for Fabian and Gideon as to why I have to leave for the night. "_Bloody wonderful,_" I muttered to myself, finally getting into bed and realizing how tired I actually was.

The days with Fabian and Gideon were a lot of fun; we played Quidditch and degnomed the garden, which I thought was actually kind of fun. I got to play with Bill and Charlie, which Molly was relieved about, and Arthur asked me tons of questions about muggles. They were the nicest family I'd ever met, and I loved being with them, but I couldn't help but be a little bit upset. It wasn't the same without a smug Sirius and a pretentious James. I even missed Peter, even though we barely ever saw him during summer holidays. I also missed Remus a little bit, but I'd never admit that.

It was the night of the full moon, and I felt like I had a weight in my stomach that was flying around, hitting me while trying to find a way out, if that made any sense. I'd told the Weasleys that we had something really important planned and I couldn't get out of it, and they took it well enough.

I took a deep breath as I walked into my very own living room. The room was empty, but I could hear my families' voices in the kitchen, so I braced myself as I walked in. My parents greeted me, but it wasn't quite so cheery. My mother kissed me on the cheek, but her face didn't look happy to see me under the circumstances.

See, our parents loved us. They did. They spent so long trying to get Remus and me better; they'd sacrificed everything to keep our secret, but it had drifted us all apart. We loved our parents, but we knew we were major burdens on them, which was one of the many reasons we were so thankful that Dumbledore allowed us to go to Hogwarts. At least they wouldn't have to deal with our problem nine months out of the year. Not to mention, the fact that we tried to spend summers away from home too, or the neighbors would get suspicious, and we would have had to move into another village.

The distraction of my mother went by far too quickly, and I turned to Remus who was sitting at the table. He looked really pale, and it didn't suit him well, but then I realized I must have looked the exact same way.

Reading a book (though I didn't see his eyes actually moving) he didn't turn towards me, hell; he didn't even _glance_ at me. It was as if I wasn't there, but our mum didn't seem to notice the elephant in the room, so I guessed Remus had told her a different story about why I was staying with other people.

"Kids, you've only got a few more hours or so, it's probably best if you go now," our mother, Hope, gravely informed. She had a sad, forced smile on her face. I couldn't help but cringe while nodding, going to the door. I waited a few moments for Remus, and he stood up, waving to our parents and walking behind me out to the backyard.

Our parents had chosen our home very carefully. It wasn't a large house, but the backyard was very broad, filled with a small, but dense forest.

You would never be able to see anything in it, unless you'd spent a long time exploring it, or you were looking for it. Our father had set up a shed-type building right in the middle of the trees, and it was protected by some very powerful charms, a lot like the Shrieking Shack.

I watched my feet not to trip on any branches, which was more of a diversion than precaution since neither Remus nor I had said a word to each other. I was relieved not to be fighting or yelling, but the silence just made me more upset. Remus and I had never fought before, other than little things like for a toy or piece of candy or whatever. But I'd never not spoken to Remus for more than an hour. He was my twin brother; it felt strange.

We reached the shed, where our father was already waiting for us, wand in hand. He greeted us, but as my mother, he was obviously not excited. Quickly, Remus and I walked inside of the small building and I waited a few moments until my eyes adjusted to the darkness.

It looked a bit like the Shrieking Shack, with high up windows that let in some moonlight, a few beds, a trunk. I sat down on the bed as far away from Remus as possible, and listened… To nothing. The shed was protected by multiple silencing charms, so no noise came out, and no noise came in.

Normally, Remus and I would talk, or at least be in a _comfortable _silence. But this was far from comfortable, and neither of us had anything to do. I just made myself focus on other things, like Hogwarts, and classes, and anything else.

It took a while, but finally the moonlight hit me right in the face, and the night had officially begun.


	4. Fifth Year

Chapter 5- Back to Hogwarts!

I walked onto the red Hogwarts Express. I smiled as I looked down the train, it was already full because the twins got up late and I had to wait for them. Almost every compartment was filled. I found the compartment with Sirius, Peter, James, and Remus and slid the door open. "Hey guys, hiya Peter." I said while I gave Peter a small hug. "Well I guess that's it…bye then. See you guys during the feast." I said awkwardly and started to walk out, but Sirius grabbed my hand. "Come one Izzy, we have barely seen you these past few weeks and you won't even sit with us?" groaned Sirius. I glanced at Remus, who was acting again as if I don't exist and was looking at a book. "Bye," I said quickly, gently taking my hand out of Sirius's grip, and walked out. I walked along the hallway to find some other friends to sit with.

Sirius's P.O.V.

Both James and I stared at her as she left and I sighed and leaned back in my seat. Peter looked at us with a confused expression, "What was that about? And where has she been for weeks?" James and I gave Remus, who had completely ignored Izzy again, glares. I snatched Remus's book and Remus yelled, "Oi! What?" "Why can't you just make up with her already? She's your twin sister and you're acting like she doesn't exist." I angrily yelled. "No, I won't and I doubt she will either!" He retorted.

"Didn't you see her glance over at you Remus? She obviously wants to be friends with you again, I bet she just doesn't want another yelling contest," I said. "It wasn't my fault she came home at midnight!" Remus said, defending himself. "Wait, wait, wait one minute here. Izzy stopped hanging out with you guys because she and Remus got in a fight?" Peter asked, looking confused. Remus snatched his book from me while James and me told Peter the full story, with a few growls or scoffs from Remus.

When we finished Peter said, "You really should apologize Remus, or at least_ try_ to talk to her." "No way that's going to happen, I'm going to go get a drink bye," he said then stalked out of the compartment without another word. James groaned loudly and asked, "What are we going to do about them?" "I have an idea," I said with an evil grin. They looked at me curiously and after I explained it to them, we got to work on our plan.

Normal P.O.V.

I saw Severus sitting in a compartment with Liy Evans. Lily and I don't like each other at all, but Severus is a very good friend of mine. I took a deep breath then walked into their compartment.

"Hey Sev," I said, while smiling, and then I turned to Lily. "Evans," I snarled. "Lupin," she snarled back. Then I turned back to Severus, "Sev can I sit here please?" Severus shot Lily, who was shaking her head frantically, a look and said, "Sure Izzy." I smiled gratefully and sat next to him. "What? You can't sit with the others? No Prewett's, or Potter, or Black, or Pettigrew, or how about your brother? You just _had_ to sit here?" Lily asked with a very rude voice. Severus gave Lily a look that said 'Stop being so rude, she's my friend too' and then turned to me. "No offence or anything Izzy, but why _are_ you sitting here?" Severus asked.

I sighed and said, "Well about a month ago Remus and I got into a huge fight, so I stayed with the Prewett's/Weasley's for the rest of the summer. In conclusion; I'm not sitting with Fab and Gid because I have been with them for a whole month, and I'm not sitting with my brother and the guys because Remus is acting like I don't exist which means I'm forced to do it back to him. Happy?" I could feel tears brimming in my eyes when I started to talk about Remus. Severus looked alarmed, and even Lily, who had been looking at me during my story, had compassion in her face as I blinked back the tears.

I faked a cough and changing the subject I asked, "So, um, how was your summer Sev?" "Oh, um, fine my parents argued, but I hung out with Lily a lot," Severus said, looking relieved that I had not started crying. "Oh fun," I said sarcastically. "Oh shut up," Lily said, returning back to her normal attitude for me, and giving me a nasty look. "Better stop or your face will freeze up that way," I said with a slight smirk. "It'll still be better than your face," Lily said, smirking back. "Yeah right, oh and _Lily Flower_ (she cringed as I called her by the nickname James made up), I think you have your wand stuck up your-" Severus cut me off, "Oh nock it off you two! It stinks having my two best friends hate each other! Just make up! It happened in our _third_ year, get over it!" He was of course talking about the incident that made Lily and me hate each other.

_It was October in our third year, Lily and me already never got along well, but we didn't hate each other. I was waiting for the boys to come down, because I had a huge prank for them. See, usually the boys and I are first to come down on Saturdays to have a full day of fun and pranking. I had it so that the first people to come down would get covered in dragon dung, purple power that makes you itch uncontrollably, a potion that makes your eyes grow to the size of tennis balls, goose feathers, and a potion that makes your whole body in either stripes or polka-dots in neon colors. I was sitting on the couch, reading, while I waited for them to come downstairs. I heard a scream and jumped up and took a picture, exited because I thought I would see the boys, but instead I saw a crying Lily. _

_She saw me and screeched, "OH I SHOULD HAVE KNOW LUPIN! WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU? I AM COVERED IN ALL OF THIS-OH MERLINS BEARD WHAT IS IT? I'M GOING TO TELL PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL!" The boys ran down the steps and saw an itching, multi-pattered neon (the potion turned out weird because it was supposed to be for more than one person), stinky, tennis ball eyed, crying, furious, and covered in goose feathers Lily… and me, holding a camera with a mixed look of rage and worry. _

_Lily told Professor McGonagall that I did it on purpose and I got detention every Saturday until Easter. So ever since then, Lily and I have been mortal enemies._

I huffed loudly and glared at Lily even more, with her returning the same expression. Severus was looking from me to Lily then furiously said, "I know both of you feel bad for what you did. Just say sorry to each other! I know that if you actually talked to each other you would be friends! I mean you both are friends with me right?" We both solemnly nodded, not taking our eyes off the other's face.

"Well Sev does say you're all right and not actually a bore," I said with barely any emotion at all. "Yeah, he said you weren't actually a complete irresponsible ninny," she replied with the same lack of emotion. Severus was looking from me to Lily again, but this time very hopefully. Lily and I just stared at each other, as though reading each other's thoughts, and then Lily broke the silence. "I'm sorry, I knew it was an accident and I shouldn't have told McGonagall you meant it." She broke eye contact and looked down at her feet. "I felt guilty watching you leave the common room every Saturday to go to detention." I opened my mouth in surprise, but then started, "I, urm, am, uh-" Lily looked me straight in the eyes again. I took a deep breath and said, "I'm sorry too. It really was an accident. It was meant for the guys, no matter how much we never got along, I would never do a prank that harsh on someone who did nothing to me." Lily smiled and I smiled back.

"Well…truce?" I said sticking out my hand. "Truce!" Lily took my hand and shook it. When we let go I thought of an idea and said, "Wait, not truce. How about _friends_?" She giggled and said, "Friends." We both stood up and hugged each other. After a long hug we sat back down. "What the heck? Five minutes ago you two looked like you wanted to kill each other and now you're… you're… _FRIENDS_?" Severus said making us both jumped because we forgot he was still here. We turned back to each other and laughed. "Oh crap! I forgot! I have a, um, certain _picture_ of you," I said. I reached for my backpack and started looking for it. "Oh. No. You do not still have it!" Lily asked franticly. Severus looked confused. "Don't worry I never showed it to anyone, not even the boys. Well, they already saw you so I doubt it would have mattered…" I said shrugging.

"AH HA!" I pulled out the picture and gave it to Lily who looked at it and started rolling on the floor laughing. Severus, who was looking very confused now, took the picture out of Lily's hand and started laughing like a madman himself. The picture was of the itching, multi-pattered, neon, stinky, crying, tennis ball-eyed, furious, and covered in goose feathers Lily from the day I pranked her. I looked at the picture and at my two friends laughing like they were crazy and soon enough; I started and couldn't stop laughing. I was rolling on the floor with Lily when the compartment door slid open. Lily and I had tears in our eyes and couldn't see the intruders, but Severus, who stopped laughing instantly, growled, "What are _you two_ doing here?" I heard a familiar, male voice say, "Sorry to do this Snivellus, but we have to take Izzy away." Before I knew it I was being picked up, and someone threw me over his shoulder.

It's a very good thing I don't wear skirts.

I looked at the head of hair and saw Sirius's curly black mane. "Sorry Evans, Snivellus." I heard James say. He and Sirius stepped out with Sirius still holding me hostage. "What. Are. You. Doing? -" I growled. "-And just when Lily and I became friends!" James abruptly stopped and asked in a disbelieving voice, "You're friends with Evans now?" I nodded and said, "Yes, now why did you kidnap me and take me hostage? Are you going to put me in a wooden crate and throw me off a plane over Brazil? Are you going to feed me to six hungry alligators, and a Paraná? Are you going to force me to kiss Peter? Are you going to-"?

"NO!" James interrupted by screaming in my face. "The answers are no, no, and why would we want you to kiss Peter?" I glared down at the floor, "Because you two are gits and would do that. Now WHY. DID. YOU. TAKE. ME?" I asked, furiously. "Oh, we're taking you to our compartment and trapping you in there with Remus so you two will finally- OW! Stop it!" Sirius was cut off with my pounding on his back and kicking in his stomach. "NO! THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL I AM GOING TO TALK TO HIM! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!" I yelled so loud, that people were now opening their compartment door to look what was all the commotion. Sirius, grunting every time I hit him quickened his pace, going down the train. He stopped and slid open a door, my hair was covering my face, making it impossible for me to see, but I knew who was in there. Sirius grunted one last time as he dropped me onto a seat and ran as fast as he could out of the room. I ran after him, but slammed into the, now closed, door. I tried sliding it open, but he locked it.

"Screw you guys!" I yelled, looking at Sirius, James, and Peter through the door window. Sirius twirled his finger and pointed behind me, meaning for me to go talk to Remus. They walked 'away', but I knew that those three would be listening to our conversation. I sat down in the corner closest to the door and the seat farthest from my brother, whose eyes were looking anywhere, but mine.

_Oh crap. OH CRAP. They are so dead! How could they trap Remus and me in here? I have to think of ways to painfully murder them. Hmm…maybe I can throw them in the lake and ask the giant squid to kindly eat them! Or maybe I can have- _

_Will you please shut up! _

_What? _

_I can hear your thoughts REMEMBER? You were accidently talking to me in here. _

_Oh, well then as you know I'm going to murder them for locking us in together so we can-_

I abruptly stopped thinking and put up my occlumency wall. Remus was still looking out the window, as if nothing had happened.

It was obvious that this was going to be a long train ride.

James's P.O.V.

"Nothing! Not a word out of either of them!" I yelled. Sirius and Peter groaned in exasperation. We had locked Remus and Izzy inside the compartment twenty minutes ago and so far neither of them have spoken.

Truth is Sirius and me really miss Izzy. Peter hasn't seen her all summer and all he got was a small hug and she left. Sirius and I have had a pretty bad month without her, especially because ever since Izzy left Remus has been really grouchy. He basically read his books all day and barely talked to us. It was depressing and Sirius really missed her because I think he fancies her. He doesn't realize it, but I think he's just lying to himself. Although truthfully, almost every guy at Hogwarts fancies Izzy, but she says she doesn't date. Even Amos Diggory, a Hufflepuff in sixth year, and, according to girls, a 'heartthrob' fancies Izzy. I admit even I fancy her a little…

"Dude!" Sirius yelled in my ear, while snapping his fingers in my face. I slightly jumped from being taken out of my thoughts. "Daydreaming? Really? What are you a twelve year old girl?" He asked, while smirking. "Shut it." I said. "So they haven't talked at all in weeks?" Peter asked. I grimly nodded. "Wow, this is their longest fight…ever." Peter said sadly. "Have they even ever had a fight? Even when she said she had kissed someone before he didn't get mad." Sirius said. I shrugged, but then I heard Izzy's voice from the compartment.

Normal P.O.V.

It was at least half an hour later and I was getting sick of the silence. It seems the other guys took out everything from the compartment, so we would be forced to talk. Sadly, I left my bag with Lily and Severus so I had nothing to do. But nevertheless, so far the plan had not worked; Remus has been looking out the window the whole time and I have been doing the same. It's been so quiet you could have heard a pin drop, so I decided to break the silence, "Remus." I said quietly, his head twitched slightly out of old habit, so I knew he heard me perfectly well, but he placed it back to look at the window. I slid down the seat, exasperated, and across from Remus. "Remus." I spoke, now at a normal volume and looked straight into his face, he completely ignored the fact that I was talking.

"Geez Remus I'm sorry!" I yelled, but he still looked away. I was growing angrier every second he ignored me. "You know what! I said I was sorry, multiple times, just for staying out a little late, but you said some mean things, but nothing, not one word from you! You think I'm too stupid, to think on my own and then you pretend like I don't exist for almost a whole month! You know what that's it! I'm leaving!" I was in a rage and yelled, "_Reducto!"_ at the sliding door, causing it to explode.

I walked across the remains of the door and headed straight back down the train, ignoring the calls I heard from Sirius, James, and Peter on the other side. Once again, everyone looked out the compartments, to see what had caused the noise. Everyone gaped at me since I was covered in dust, but I refused to look anyone in the eye. By the time I got back to Lily and Sev's compartment they were looking out too. "Was that…_you_?" Lily asked, looking me up and down. I had tears burning the back of my eyes so I simply nodded and grabbed my backpack. I mumbled out a, "Talk to you guys later," as I jogged out and found my own compartment.

I sat down in a compartment, near the very back of the train, and sighed deeply. Then, I started to cry. I was mad at Remus and myself, I hated crying, it makes me feel weak and powerless. I took ten deep breaths and took out my notebook and started to write. I was in the middle of a story, about a girl who would be raised an orphan, but then when she's seventeen she finds out that she has to save the world from mass peril and that she has a brother and a sister she has to take care of (I just made something up so sorry if it's bad). I had tears dripping down on the pages, so I decided to read. About an hour before we arrived I changed into my school robes and began to read again. I felt the train stop and I looked out my window. I fixed my red, blotchy face with magic and put on a fake smile.

The carriage ride was horribly awkward. James and Sirius walked up from behind and James picked me up and threw me over his shoulder, forcing me into their carriage. I shot Remus a glare, and again he acted like I was a piece of dust, and then I realized I should be mad at Sirius and James too. I glared at them. "Wait, what did we do?" Sirius asked in an alarmed tone. "You're the ones who forced me to talk to the git sitting next to the Thestral." I saw Remus's eyes dart to it, even though he couldn't see it. I knew he wanted to ask me what it looked like. "The what?" James asked. "Nothing, anyway for that you both suck and Peter you half suck for going along with it!" Peter looked down at his feet, Sirius played with his hands, Remus who was still looking at the Thestral he couldn't see, and James was looking out to the castle while I glared at all of them.

Halfway there I was sick of all four guys doing their best to not look at me so I jumped out of the carriage. I started running towards the castle, ignoring the calls of my friends. I ran all the way and went into the Great Hall, panting, I sat down at the Gryffindor table. I was the only student there and all the teachers were looking at me, but I just waved to them all. Headmaster Dumbledore gestured for me to come up and I came.

"Hey Professor, how was your summer? Did you get that tan you wanted?" I joked, and he chuckled. I liked Dumbledore; he always knew how to take a joke, unlike some other teachers. "Actually, yes I did," he said with a twinkle in his blue eyes. "I am sorry to say that the school somehow forgot to send you your letter and badge this summer." I gave him a confused look and he continued. "You have been made a Prefect." I gave him a look of realization and again he continued. "Yes, anyway the Gryffindor Head Boy has your badge so get it from him and your prefect duties will start next week." I nodded. Other students were coming in and looking at me strangely. "I should go back to my table, bye Professor," I said waving and walking back to my table. "See you later Miss Lupin," he kindly replied.

I smiled to all the teachers while passing them, not really caring about their reaction. I sat down somewhere near the middle of the Gryffindor table, as I waited for more people to come in. Lily came in with Severus and I waved to him as Lily came and sat down to the left of me. We turned to each other and we started talking.

"So…why did you run all the way here?" she asked, looking slightly nervous. "Oh, James and Sirius dragged me into their carriage and I was getting so sick of the awkward silence I jumped out and started running away." I said casually, while shrugging. "Oh…" she said, frowning off into space. It was getting awkward so I quickly said, "So we know like nothing about each other, let's start." "Okay! Um…what's your favorite color; favorite thing to do; most annoying habit; and favorite class?" she asked quickly, obviously relieved I said something. After thinking over the question I said, "Red-any shade; read and write; I bite my lip and sometimes I bite too hard I make it bleed-not pretty; and potions, defiantly."

I was about to ask the same thing when I heard someone to my right cough, but it was not a real cough, it was an I-want-your-attention cough. I turned around and saw Sirius; I looked forward, across the table and saw James. Across from Lily was Remus, who looked as though he had been forced to sit near me. Across from Sirius was Peter.

"What?" I asked Sirius through gritted teeth. "Well it's not normal for a person to jump out of a carriage and run away." he replied, slightly amused. I rolled my eyes, and thankfully Dumbledore started talking before my temper got worse.

"We have one new student who will be in her fifth year this year. "Violetta Black." McGonagall said. I turned, wide eyed at Sirius, who looked surprised and was looking intently at the girl walking up to the stool. She had curly dark brown hair and rosy cheeks and sat down on the stool. I heard the hat say something about different from most of her family and yelled, "GRYFFINDOR!" We all started clapping and almost everyone was looking at Sirius, who had his mouth open in shock. Since I was still annoyed with Sirius I pushed him hard, making him slid down and opening the seat. I motioned for Violetta to sit in his seat.

"Thanks!" she said brightly. "You're very welcome- (Sirius made a rude hand gesture to me) and Sirius that was very rude!" Violetta turned to Sirius, "Yes, cousin, very rude!" she said in mock disappointment. His eyes widened, "Wait, Vi (like Vie)? I thought your mom banned you from talking to me!" She shrugged, "She did, but who cares? My mom is the twit who wanted me to marry Regulus." I choked out the water I was drinking. "She wanted you to marry your…your…COUSIN?" I yelled in disbelief. Vi nodded and said, "Yeah, you know to keep the pureblood thing going, but I think I might marry a muggle born or something just to annoy her. We all laughed, and I knew that Vi, Lily, and me would be best friends.

For about twenty minutes I was having a good time, but I was still uncomfortable near Remus, and the guys kept trying to get me to forgive them. About twenty minutes into the feast I was fed up with the boys, and Remus, so I got up and mumbled, "I'm going to the Common Room." They all looked disappointed (other than Remus who still refuses to look at me), but I tried to ignore it. I walked up to the new Head Boy; a 7th year named Luke who is one of my friends, and taped him on the back. He turned and when he saw me, reached inside his pocket. "Hey Izzy. Well here it is, your new prefect badge. Please try keep your friends in line," he said jokingly. I shrugged and he also whispered, "The password is 'Flobberworm'." I nodded and walked up to Gryffindor Common Room.

I checked my room number and roommates, and my roommates turned out to be; Vi, Lily, and…my two worst nightmares; Cathy Anderson and Gwen Hender; the two nastiest girls in Gryffindor.

I don't even know why they're in Gryffindor.

Cathy is the 'house slut' and president of Sirius's fan girls.

Gwen is the second 'house slut' and worst of all, has a crush on my brother.

I hate them both, and they hate me too.

CRAP.

I glared at the sheet then walked to my room. My stuff was on the bed farthest away from the bed with Gwen's stuff, which was right next to the bed with Cathy's stuff. The bed was Vi's stuff was next to me, and then the bed with Lily's stuff was on Vi's other side. I took a deep breath and changed into my pajamas. I jumped in my bed and, for once, fell asleep instantly.

Information on Vi

Name: Violetta (after my great-great-great grandmother) Druella Black

Nickname: Vi (preferred)

Looks: Curly dark brown hair, but sometimes dies the ends of her hair different colors; blue/grey eyes; rosy cheeks; very pretty; 5 feet 10 inches so pretty tall.

Age/year: 15/5th year

House: Gryffindor

Family: Cygnus Black (father), Druella Rosier (mother), Bellatrix Lestrange (oldest sister by nine years), Andromeda Tonks (older sister by about eight years), Narcissa Malfoy (older sister by five years), Nymphadora Tonks (niece-two years old)

Crush: No one yet

Friends (so far): Isabelle, Remus, James, Sirius, Peter, and Lily

Story: I was born into a family of 'pure blood mania' and hated it. Out of my three older sisters I absolutely loathe Bellatrix, I never hated Narcissa, but ever since that dumb Malfoy married her she has turned worse, and I like Andromeda. Sadly, I cannot see Andromeda because our parents disowned her and refuse to let me talk to her. I have only met my niece Dora once, she is a beautiful metamorphmagus and I already know she will be a great person when she grows up.

My favorite cousin was Sirius, and still is. My parents forced me to be home-schooled; I think it was because they knew I would turn out like Sirius. I learned what was needed, but was forced into learning all the Black family history. I absolutely loathe my cousin, Sirius's brother, Regulus to whom my parents wanted me to marry. I will never marry my cousin or a pure blood fanatic. I like nature. I tend to talk a lot and in between girly and tomboy. Well that's about it bye!


	5. Catch ups and Make ups

Chapter 6

I woke up and saw that the sun still wasn't up. I quietly sighed and got out of bed. The others were still asleep so I went and took a short shower, and then put on my 'uniform'. In my first year at Hogwarts I sort of refused to wear the traditional uniform, especially the skirt. I never wear skirts, ever, so I talked to Dumbledore. He let me pick out my own uniform and he looked it over and agreed that I could wear it; gosh that man is awesome.

The others were still sound asleep as I quietly tiptoed out of the room and down the stairs. No one was in the Common Room so I looked at a clock. It was seven in the morning, the sun was slowly rising now and I decided to go to my favorite beach tree by the lake. I started to sprint down to the lake; barely anyone was in the halls. Anyone who was in the hall waved and greeted me; see I was one of the people that everyone seemed to know, that was nice and I loved being that person, but it was sometimes slightly…annoying? Nevertheless, I waved back and smiled. When I finally got down to my tree I was relieved to find it deserted. I sat down and watched the sun rise completely. I took a deep breath and smiled; this was a rare occasion for me. Firstly, I am not a morning person, but since I went to bed so early I got enough sleep. Secondly, there was barely a moment when I was alone and just had time to myself. I looked out over the Black Lake and just sat there, doing nothing whatsoever. After a while I looked down at my little gold watch. My mother had given me the watch before I went back to Hogwarts for my third year.

"_This watch was my mother's, who gave it to me, so now I'm giving it to you." My loving mum said as she beamed down at me. We were standing in our little kitchen waiting for my brother to come down so we could go to Kings Cross with him and dad._

"_I'll be very careful with it Mum, thanks." I said while hugging my mother._

I smiled at the memory, and looked at the watch again, but this time actually looking at the time. It was about eight; I had to go down to breakfast. I sadly sighed and stood up. I absentmindedly walked to the Great Hall and sat down at the Gryffindor table. I was twirling my locket in my hand and thinking until someone poked me in the side. I jumped and my head turned like a whip to see Sirius, smirking as usual.

"Izzy? You alright there?" He asked, his smirk growing. I glared and said, "You scared me! I was thinking." He shrugged. "Where were you this morning anyway? I was down in the Common Room and Evans came and said you weren't in bed."

"I just went out for some air because I woke up early. It was nice." I said, and I felt like we were being watched. I turned my head and saw some Ravenclaw girls from Sirius's fan club staring at us. "Take a picture, it'll last longer!" I yelled at the girls, who instantly glared and looked away. "You know, I really hate your fan girls." I growled out and started eating some cereal. Sirius merely shrugged again, then McGonagall came over. "Mr. Black, Miss Lupin here are your time tables." She said, giving them over to us." Thanks Professor!" I said, very cheerfully. McGonagall gave a small smile then walked down the table to find more people.

"How do you get the strictest teacher to like you?" Sirius asked in disbelief. I shrugged then examined Sirius's timetable with mine. "We have a lot of classes together, wow." I said. Sirius smiled and so did I, and then James, Peter, Remus, Lily, and Vi all came in and sat with us. We were all eating breakfast when James, who was sitting across from me, dropped his spoon into his cereal. His milk splashed me across the face. "James! What the hell?" I yelled, moping up my face. "Sorry, but is that a _prefect_ badge?" He said pointing to a shiny, red badge that said 'PREFECT' in gold.

I rolled my eyes. "Are you really that thick James? No, no, no I just have a prefect badge because it goes nicely with my sweater." I said sarcastically. Everyone except Remus gaped at me with mouths open. "Oh shut up! So what I'm a prefect? Who cares?" I complained. "But-but you prank? All the time!" James replied. I rolled my eyes and shrugged. "Whatever it wasn't my choice, I didn't even know until last night. Anyway, Sirius can we go to Herbology already? I'm sick of this idiot." I said poking my tongue out at James. He poked his tongue back at me and we were having a staring contest until I felt someone dragging me out by arm. "Yeah, let's go to Herbology, I like that idea, bye guys!" Sirius waved to them as he dragged me along, but I got out of his grip and jumped on his back instead. He was unfazed and we went to Herbology.

Vi's P.O.V.

I watched Sirius carry Izzy out of the Great Hall then looked back to everyone else. "Is there something going on between Sirius and Izzy?" I asked them all. "No, but I think Sirius fancies Izzy, but won't admit it to himself." James said. The rest nodded in agreement, except Remus.

"Remus?" I asked a little wearily, I have barely talked to him yet. He looked up at me. "I know it's none of my business, but why won't you talk to Izzy, I mean she's your sister." I said. "Yeah Remus. You're twins and you haven't talked to her in over a month, and we know she's tried to talk to you! Sirius, Peter, and I heard what happened on the train." James said. "I miss her, I do, but I just…I just can't talk to her, okay?" Remus said, trying to figure out how to put it in words. "No, it's not okay. Come on James and Lily we have charms first together." I said, annoyed by Remus's answer. They got up and we left, with them bickering because James kept asking Lily out, but she kept refusing. I laughed at their argument and they took me to the Charms classroom.

Izzy's P.O.V.

Sirius took me to the greenhouse where our class was being held. I slid off his back and noticed we were some of the only people in class yet. We started talking about random things and I heard whispering and giggling and turned around. There were about five more Sirius's fan girls watching us from both Gryffindor and Ravenclaw. I turned back around and glared at the ground. Sirius looked at me carefully. "You okay? You look really annoyed." Sirius asked, concerned with my somewhat random bad mood. He got used to his fan girls so he barely notices them, well I mean when he's not snogging a different one every week. I made a small gesture at the girls and Sirius rolled his eyes and gently ordered, "Ignore them Izzy." I shrugged and started paying attention to the teacher who had come in and was beginning the lesson with a lecture on our OWL's.

I was walking down to the dungeons; I had advanced potions (6th year) with Hufflepuff. I love potions, and Slughorn is an all right teacher. Last year potions was kind of bad because Lily was the only other person to take this class advanced and we were always competing with each other, and not in a very good way. I walked into the classroom to see Lily and Vi sitting at a table and I ran up to them.

"Vi! You're taking this class too?" I squealed. She nodded excitingly. I jumped back and start doing a happy dance, but accidently hit someone from behind. I fell forward and hit the ground. "Oh! Sorry, here." I heard a male voice say, and felt two strong arms picking me up. Lily and Vi were trying hard not to laugh, and I glared at them then turned around. "Sorry I'm kind of a klutz-oh Amos! Hey! How was your summer?" I asked and Amos chuckled, "It was great Izzy, but it would have been better if I could have seen you." I smiled and replied, "Same here." Professor Slughorn came in and said, "Today we will be making Draught of the Living Dead so get into pairs of two please." Vi and Lily stayed sitting down together. "How about you two work together? You could catch up." Lily suggested, gesturing to Amos and I. "Sounds great, come on Izzy." He started walking to a table and I followed, but not before I saw Vi wink at me and Lily giggled, making me roll my eyes playfully.

We worked really fast and Amos and I finished our potions first, making it perfectly, just cause we're that awesome, but anyway Slughorn gave us the rest of the hour to talk. Amos and I laughed and quietly talked about our summers, I even told him about my fight with Remus which surprised him a lot because everyone knows Remus and me are best friends and not just twins. He told me he thinks the fight will end soon and not to worry about it. Amos and I have been friends for a few years now; I'm not exactly sure how we became friends though. We usually don't have any classes together since he's in a different house and a year ahead, but this year we can actually talk to each other.

The rest of the day went by quickly and I was coming back to the Common Room after my new Prefect duties. Today, I had to walk a bunch of fist years around and show them all the classrooms. It was fun because I like first years and they weren't bad. I told the Fat Lady, "Flobberworm" and went inside. Once I got in I noticed James, Remus, Sirius, Peter, Lily, and Vi all sitting down near the fire. They saw me and all stopped talking at once.

"Okay…what the fudge has got all of your wands in a twist?" I asked, giving them a weird look. Sirius and James pushed Remus slightly. He walked up to me and said, "Will you come with me?" so quietly I almost didn't here. "Um…sure," I answered, just as quietly. He walked out of the Common Room and I followed.

We stood just outside the Common Room for a moment or two in silence when finally, to my surprise, Remus spoke.

"Um, Izzy I wanted to say, well I would like to say, -_et hem_- that I was…I was wrong and stupid-oh horribly stupid to yell at you. I knew-yes I knew that you never did anything wrong, I just felt…erg; truthfully I don't know why I yelled at you. But I defiantly don't think you're not smart enough to make your own decisions, I just want to watch out for you. You are my sister, and I love you and sometimes my over protectiveness just loses control. So anyway I just wanted to say I'm sorry and-" He rambled, but was cut off with my arms flying over his neck in a hug.

"I missed you too." I whispered in his ear. I pulled apart and whispered, "watch this." I made a gesture to the fat lady, who was weeping out of happiness for us, and she opened the portrait. Peter, James, and Sirius all came crashing down and Lily and Vi were standing right behind them, leaning forward. I rolled my eyes and laughed, I just kept laughing and laughing and soon enough Remus was too, then James, then Vi, then Peter, then Sirius, and then Lily. We all walked back into the Common Room and sat by the fire. I sat on a couch in between Sirius and Remus. I sleepily put my head in Sirius's lap and my legs on Remus. I heard Sirius whisper, "Sweet dreams," while he was playing with my hair and I fell asleep…

Sirius's P.O.V.

I watched Izzy as she fell asleep in my lap, and I was absentmindedly playing with her hair. I heard a cough from James and looked up to see all five of them staring at me. "What?" I asked. "Like you don't know," James answered. I put my hands up to indicate I had no idea what they were talking about. Everyone glanced down at Izzy then at me, almost as if it was rehearsed. "Okay, do you guys practice that, I swear it was rehearsed or something. Oh and no I still don't know what you mean." I chuckled. "He means you and Izzy!" Lily said in exasperation. "What about Izzy and me? We're best friends if that's what you mean." I said, slightly annoyed now because I still didn't understand. "You obviously like her Cuz." Vi said and I looked at her in shock. I looked over at Remus and saw that he agreed with them. I rolled my eyes.

"Whatever, I'm going to bed. Can one of you show me where your room is so I can put Izzy in?" I asked, getting up and holding Izzy up bridal style. Vi nodded and went to the stairs, we started walking, and she took me to their room. Cathy and Gwen were there talking on their beds. Cathy looked up and saw me, and gave me a seductive smile and wink. Vi growled and pulled me over to the bed farthest away from Gwen and Cathy. I put Izzy down on her bed and she smiled in her sleep. I had a strange erg to kiss her, but didn't. I ignored Cathy and Gwen and walked down the stairs with Vi. While we were walking Vi stopped on a step and gave me a look, it was as if she was trying to figure something out by looking at me. "What?" I asked, and she merely shook her head and we walked back down to the Common Room.

"Good night, I'm going to sleep, bye guys. Hope you get back to normal tomorrow." I waved to them and went to bed, but not before hearing James ask, "Evans, go out with me?" and then someone stomping up the steps to the girl's dormitories.


	6. Howlers and the Marauders

Chapter 7

I woke up in my bed; someone must have put me in here. I stretched and noticed Lily and Vi waking up. "Morning," I said sleepily. They nodded their heads and yawned. We got dressed and ready and Gwen and Cathy started getting up.

"Morning Lupin, have you seen that hot brother of yours?" asked Gwen, while giggling evilly. "Stay away from my brother." I said through gritted teeth. "But how? He's sooooo cute! And those scars make him look sexy!" She said with a fake innocent voice. On instinct I automatically put my hand on my shoulder, where clothes, as usually covered, my scar. I opened my mouth to yell at Gwen, but Vi and Lily both grabbed one of my arms and pulled me out. "Well, it was nice talking to you!" Vi yelled back to them. They pulled me down to the Common Room, where for once the guys were already there.

"Whoa what's wrong with her?" James asked pointing at the scowling me. Lily opened her mouth, but I beat her to it, "Hender and Anderson as always." I glared at the ground. Sirius rolled his eyes, "Come on, some breakfast will cheer you up." I sighed, but nodded my head and all of us left for the Great Hall. Randomly, I jumped onto Remus's back. "Give me a piggy back ride?" I asked with the voice of a five-year-old. He rolled his eyes and shook his head. "I just forgave you." I pointed out. He sighed in defeat and let me stay on his back. I kept kicking him to go faster and eventually he started running. When we got to the Great Hall I slipped off Remus's back and went to the Slytherin table. I heard a happy clap, most likely coming from Lily, and groans, most likely coming from the boys as I sat down across from Severus, who was sitting alone looking into his advanced potions textbook, writing down notes.

"Hey Half-Blood Prince." I said, using the title he made for himself, and taking a piece of toast off a plate as Lily sat down next to me. Some Slytherin students gave us weird looks, but were still friendly. Most Slytherin people weren't that bad so I just didn't bother them. Lily and I were basically the peace between Gryffindor and Slytherin. "Hey Izzy, Lily." He said back and smiled, putting away his book. Lily and Severus started talking about some assignment, but something hit me, like bread, hit me in the back of the head. I turned to the Gryffindor table and saw Sirius and James staring at Lily and me. They both looked jealous and gestured me over. I shook my head and glared at them. They kept silently pleading so I gave them a firmly shook my head and turned back around to Lily and Severus.

About in the middle of breakfast the post arrived. As usual, I had nothing, my parents rarely sent Remus and me anything. I just continued talking to Lily and Severus until I heard a booming voice coming from the Gryffindor table.

"VIOLETTA DRUELLA BLACK! HOW DARE YOU BE IN GRYFFINDOR WITH THAT BLOOD-TRAITOR COUSIN OF YOUR'S! YOU HAVE DISGRASED THE NAME OF BLACK JUST LIKE ANDROMEDA! WHY CAN'T YOU BE LIKE YOUR OTHER COUSIN REGULUS, OR LIKE NARCISSA OR BELLATIX? I FORBID YOU TO SPEAK TO SIRIUS OR ANY BLOOD-TRAITORS, HALF BLOODS, OR MUDBLOODS! I AM ASHAMED TO CALL YOU MY DAUGHTER! YOU WILL BE PUNISHED WHEN YOU COME HOME!" I saw a stunned Vi and ran over. Everyone was looking at the howler that had now ripped itself up. I grabbed Vi and took her out of the Great Hall and Lily followed.

We took her outside to a tree by the lake as she cried with us hugging either side of her. Lily and I both rubbed Vi's back soothingly. After about an hour Vi completely stopped crying and said, "I hate my mom. She can go suck walnuts." I laughed, "Understandable and agreed." Lily quietly chuckled. "Urg, sorry about that guys. I overreacted-" Vi started, but I put my hand over her mouth. "Stop right there, you did not overreact. Your mother was heartless, anyone would cry." I took my hand off her mouth. "You wouldn't," she said quietly, looking at the ground. "That's different some things happened that changed me to be like that, anyway are you ready to go back to class Vi?" I said, desperately trying to change the subject. She nodded, "Yes, you guys already missed half of first period for me." "It was nothing," Lily said, and I nodded in agreement.

The three of us stood up and went back into the castle. We waved bye to Lily as Vi and me went to Transfiguration together. We came in while Professor McGonagall was putting everyone in groups of fours. "Oh hello Miss Black and Miss Lupin, don't worry Professor Dumbledore told everyone to not get you and Miss Evans in trouble for being late. Anyway, we are changing objects into rabbits. You can form a group with the Prewett twins." I smiled and walked over to Fabian and Gideon with Vi trailing behind me.

"Fab, Gid this is Vi Black. Vi this is Fabian-Fab and Gideon-Gid Prewett, some of my best and first friends here." I introduced. "Hi," Vi said rather uncomfortably, I looked around and saw everyone staring at her. I opened my mouth, but Fabian yelled at the class, "Oi! Either get something else to stare at or actually do your work!" Everyone instantly looked away. Vi smiled at Fabian and Fabian smiled back. They started staring at each other, Vi had obviously forgotten about the howler, and everything else for that matter. Gideon and I looked at each other and suppressed laughs. "Uh, guys? We're still here you know?" Gideon said, making me burst out laughing as Vi and Fabian both looked at us, blushing. When I calmed down I smirked at Vi, and we went on with our work.

I was sitting in the Common Room around eleven trying to finish homework while Remus was trying to explain our Charms assignment to Peter when Sirius and James came running in while panting. "Hey guys…" I said, giving them a questioning look. When they stopped panting they sat down with me at the little table I was working on. "We played a prank on Slytherin," James started. "So now, their whole Common Room is in Gryffindor stripes and," Sirius continued. "All their hair is in Gryffindor colors too," James, continued. "Counting Slughorn's," Sirius finally finished. The three of us burst out laughing and I remembered. "Oh! Guys I completely forgot! I've almost finished it! I just need all of you. Oi! Remus, Peter! Come here!" They came as I started rummaging through my bag. I pulled out a folded piece of parchment and all the guys except Remus gave me weird looks. "Oh for heaven's sake." I said, rolling my eyes and continuing, "It's the map and it's almost done; I only need a name for the five of us and nicknames for us individually." They all nodded and we began making up nicknames…

Twenty minutes later we had all our nicknames ready, and had decided to have our individual nicknames based on our Animagi (they are still very close, but not there yet), or in Remus's case and mine, our conditions. James was Prongs for his stag form; Sirius was Padfoot for his dog form; Peter was Wormtail for his rat form; Remus was Moony for the full moon; and I was Scars because, well, I have a lot of scars from the werewolf. We also made the group name 'The Marauders', I don't really know where that one came from, but it did and is now our name.

"Okay, now that that's done, let me put it in…" I did a silent spell to the new 'Marauder's Map' and tapped it with my wand six times. I took a deep breath and said, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." I tapped the map once and it said, 'Messers Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, Scars, & Prongs are proud to present The Marauder's Map'. Sirius, James, and Peter, who were already looking in awe, practically had a heart attack when I opened the map. Everyone in Hogwarts was on the map, what they were doing and where they were.

After mesmerized for a few moments James asked, "And you-you made this? All yourself?" I laughed and shook my head, "No, you guys found the secret passage ways remember? And Remus helped me a lot with it in July. Plus you guys just helped make all the nicknames! Oh and you guys helped me with the insults." I said, slyly smiling. "Insults?" Sirius asked, they all looked questioningly, even Remus because I hadn't told him about that part yet. I nodded and answered, "When you don't say the solemnly swear thing, and try to open it, it'll insult you. Say stuff like Mr. Padfoot would like you to mind your own business you git and go jump in the Black Lake. It'll be kind of special to whoever tries to open it." "Brilliant you are Scars, just brilliant." Sirius said, and the others nodded in agreement. I rolled my eyes and smiled.

"Well yeah, that's it. Now I have to finish this homework." I said with a glum expression. "Want some help?" Sirius offered. "Wow way to flirt Black." I mocked, remembering the memory and winking. We both laughed. "Wow…can you believe we start fist fighting over that? Man, little did I know you were a werewolf with like, super strength!" Sirius said looking at where we fought on the ground, reliving the memory. I chuckled and shrugged and we started working on my homework.

It was the Saturday of our first week, thank goodness no classes. We had so much homework to do since it was out OWL's year. Today was also Quidditch team tryouts and I was so exited! I have never been able to tryout for Quidditch yet, because of some…instances that happened. Well, anyway I was finally going to be able to tryout! No one except Remus has ever actually seen me fly on a broom, so the rest of the Marauders thought I can't fly, but little did they know I fly a lot, almost everyday. Well I'll show them, now won't I? I'm trying out for beater because I'm pretty strong and like to hit things!

I was sitting down eating breakfast with Lily when Amos sat down across from us. Luckily, the guys weren't here yet. "Hey Izzy, just wanted to say I'll be watching you try out today. I'll make sure to cheer." I smiled and Amos winked and walked out of the Great Hall. "Oh my gosh! Amos Diggory, the Hufflepuff hottie LIKES YOU!" Lily squealed and just then Sirius and James came in right when she screamed 'LIKES YOU!'

"Who likes Izzy? Almost the whole Hogwarts male population?" James said, while taking the seat across from me. "Hardy har, har James." I said, while glaring. Sirius sat down and looked at me, "Hey what's with the getup?" he said gesturing to my Gryffindor athletic clothes. I felt a bit uncomfortable, knowing they would laugh if I told them the truth. Before I could make up an excuse Lily happily said," She's trying out for Quidditch!" Sirius and James almost choked, but then start to laugh so hard tears were falling out of their eyes.

"Iz-IZZY? Trying o-out f-for Quidd-dditch?" Sirius laughed out. I sighed and rolled my eyes. They kept laughing so I stood up and said, "I'm going to the Quidditch field, want to come?" looking at Lily. "Yeah!" she said, obviously annoyed at how the boys were taking the news, and stood up too. "Hey E-Evan?" James said, still laughing. "What?" She snapped. "G-go out with m-me?" He asked, still laughing. "NEVER POTTER!" She yelled and stormed out, with me following.

We were back in the Common Room after tryouts. During tryouts the guys couldn't believe how well I could fly and hit bludgers. I was still a bit annoyed at how James and Sirius laughed at me, and was sort of abusing the fact that they had to eat their own words. Amos was there, and cheered me on, which made me happy, I guess I liked Amos a little bit.

Lily, Peter, and Remus also cheered us on as James tried out for seeker and Sirius and I tried out as beaters. We had pretty good chances of making the team and Luke (the head boy I talked to on the first night) is our keeper and captain.

"Izzy we're sorry! We didn't know you could fly like that!" Sirius pleaded. "It was still rude to laugh!" I snapped at him. "We're really sorry! It was rude to laugh…" James said. "Okay, you're forgiven…now can I go take a shower, I stink. Oh and you guys do too so Prongs if you ever want Lily to date you, go take a shower. I winked at him and he left with Sirius as I went up to the girl's bathroom, happy with myself.


	7. Animagi and the Date

Chapter 8

It's been almost two months since we became 'The Marauders'. News travels very fast here at Hogwarts so now everyone calls us the Marauders. Halloween is in exactly a week. Anyway tonight was the full moon again and I felt horrible; I knew tonight would be one of our worst nights yet. I was in the Common Room with Remus waiting to get picked up and, luckily, no one else was, probably all in the library getting all their homework done. I sighed and shrugged to Remus and the portrait door flew open with the guys running towards us.

"OH MY GODRIC! We have news!" James yelled, basically jumping in front of us. "Ug, what?" I said, getting a headache and rubbing my temples. He looked around to make sure we were alone and said "Sorry" more quietly. "Anyway what Prongs was trying to say was that…" Peter started. "We finally got our Animagi right!" Sirius finished. "What?" I yelled, and jumped up, completely forgetting my headache. "Yeah! We can help you tonight!" Sirius said happily. I frowned and sat back down. "Wait, what's wrong?" Sirius asked, with concern in his voice. "You guys are going to get hurt…" I said, in a very quiet voice while looking down at the floor. Sirius knelt down in front of me and put his hands gently on my shoulders. "We want to do this Scars. Don't worry about us." Sirius said firmly, but with a soft and gentle voice.

Madam Pomfrey came in just as I was about to object. Automatically Sirius took his hands off my shoulders and stood up straight and walked to James. "Uh Lupin's, we have to go visit your mother now." We nodded, walking out of the Common Room and to the Shrieking Shack…

Madam Pomfrey left Remus and me outside the Whomping Willow as we went into the secret opening. We walked for a few minutes in silence and got to the small room in the Shrieking Shack. I sat down on the floor, leaning against the bed and pulled my knees up to my chest and hugging them. Remus sat down next to me.

_You think they'll really come?_

_I really don't know Iz._

_I hope they don't, we'd really hurt them. It would be two almost, fully grown werewolves against a dog, a stag, and a rat._

_That's want I think too, I hope they don't come._

I put my head on his shoulder and we just sat there waiting. Waiting for the excruciating pain that came while we grow a few feet in size, while hair sprouts out everywhere, while your nails grow out; it's horribly painful. Then the door flew open.

My eyes widened. I saw Sirius, James, and Peter. "Guys! What are you doing here?" I screeched, standing up. "We came to help you!" James replied proudly. I frantically shook my head and looked to a tiny window; the full moon was still rising. "You guys still have time, leave!" I begged, but they refused. "We'll change into our forms, maybe that will make you feel better." Sirius suggested and the other two agreed.

With looks of concentration, James turned into a large stag, Sirius turned into a big, black dog, and Peter turned into a small rat. I couldn't help, but laugh at Sirius. "You're so fluffy Padfoot!" I laughed while kneeling down to pet him. Sirius wagged his tail and licked me. I laughed and rolled my eyes, and I saw the moon completely rising. "Good luck." I said sadly and began my painful transformation. The last thing I heard was my brother's and mine howling screams of pain.

Sirius's P.O.V.

The moon fully rose and now Remus and Izzy were changing into werewolves. Long nails were sprouting out of their fingers, both of them were growing a few feet in height, their spine curving. They both let out ear-shattering screams. After a few, obviously horrible minutes they changed into full werewolves. We weren't at all sure what was coming, but once they saw us they pounced. Izzy went straight for me and landed on my back. I managed to throw her off and she fell, but stood right back up. She started to go for me again, but James rammed into her and Remus started attacking me. This was going to be a very long and painful night.

Normal P.O.V.

I transformed back to my human form and so did Remus; it was about five in the morning. James, Sirius, and Peter transformed back and fell to the ground along with Remus who had fallen too. I wearily stood up, exhausted, but they I forgot all about my pain and tiredness when I saw James and Sirius. I ran to the guys and kneeled between them. "Turn on your backs please guys." I gently ordered. They did so and I let out an audible gasp and my eyes widened. Guilt flooded into my body.

James had blood coming from his chest; soaking his shirt. He also had a bite mark on arm, along with a ton of scratches. Sirius had a bite mark on his leg and a gash in his arm, with blood leaking out; he also had a bunch of new scars and scratches. I looked to the bed and saw my wand. I stood up and grabbed it and kneeled back down to the guys. I started mumbling incantations and healing them, I had taken a class in healing. I fixed their really bad cuts and made the scratches disappear. After a few minutes all they had were some scratched that I couldn't fix, but could be past for falling in a bush or something (they would do that). The guys, who had been half asleep while I worked on them, stood up.

"Thanks Scars." Sirius said, examining himself. James nodded in agreement. I shrugged and mumbled, "It was nothing, considering we're the ones who did it to you…" They shook their heads and Sirius said, "We should be going, they'll be picking you up soon." I nodded and they woke up Peter and left, leaving Remus and I alone. We looked at each other sadly. I sighed and started fixing his wounds, and he started fixing mine. We weren't nearly as hurt as usually, but we were hurt basically like James and Sirius. We fixed each other and then fell on the bed, instantly passing out.

I woke up in the hospital wing as usual, with Remus in the bed next to me. Just then, Madam Pomfrey came in. "Hello dears. So I'm guessing you fixed yourselves this morning?" She asked, her eyebrow rose a little. We both nodded and she smiled. "Good job! You two really were the best in those healing classes." She praised and I decided to ask. "Um Madam Pomfrey?" She looked up. "I was wondering if we could fix each other up every morning and stay in the- well in the shack and then just go back to our dorms or classes afterwards. And if we're really hurt and can't fix it, we'll come straight here." She raised her eyebrow again and said, "I don't know…it would be Professor Dumbledore's decision, but due to the fact he is very busy I doubt-"

"Actually Poppy, he is not too busy." Interrupted a tall man, with a very long beard and a twinkle in his shocking blue eyes. He walked over and stood in between Remus's beds and mine. He looked at me and I smiled. "Yes, you two may stay there in the mornings, but I will make sure that there are always potions in there to fix bones. Just look under the bed," he said and looked at me and I felt like I was being x-rayed. "Oh and I'll make sure there will always be…extra, just in case." He said and left the hospital wing with a twinkle in his eye. I looked at Remus who looked bewildered and so did I. _What if Dumbledore knew? No, he couldn't know. He would have told the ministry there are three illegal Animagi at Hogwarts…wouldn't he?_

"First class is going to end in about twenty minutes so that gives you time to go to your Common Room, but first you'll have to eat." Madam Pomfrey said, and gave us some toast and eggs. We ate it quickly and ran to the Common Room. Wondering the whole time about where the other Marauders were.

I walked into potions right on time and sat down in my usually seat next to Amos. "Hey Izzy," he said, smiling. "Hey Amos," I said with a smile back. "Yeah, I was wondering if you maybe wanted to go on a date with me? Except not to Hogsmeade, somewhere else that's a surprise. I was thinking Friday night around five so right after classes? Then around six thirty I could just walk you back to the Great Hall for dinner. Because you won't really be able to eat where I want to take you. Oh great, I'm rambling and not even letting you answer am I? Oh right sorry shutting up now so you can answer." He put his hand over his mouth to stop talking, making me laugh and take his hand off and keep holding it in mine. "I would love to." I answered with a huge smile and dropped his hand. I saw Lily and Vi giggle and wink at me from the next table. I shook my head, but smiled and looked to the front of the class. For the rest of the class Amos and I both had grins on our faces while taking notes.

It was Thursday night and the girls and me were all talking about random things. When James came over and asked, "Hey, do you ladies want to play a game?" Vi and I happily nodded, but Lily looked on the fence about it. "Oh Lily! Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty please with cherries and whatnot on top!" I begged with puppy dog eyes as Vi and James laughed. "Oh…alright! Fine!" Lily sighed in defeat. "Excellent, please follow me." James said, taking us up to the guys' dorm. I whispered, "You're welcome" in James ear as I walked in and he winked at me. I laughed and rolled my eyes.

"Okay so we're playing a kind of truth or dare." James started, and we all nodded. "Now someone will ask you truth or dare and you obviously pick one. If you really don't want to answer the question, or do the dare then we'll give you another choice, usually much worse and you have to pick between them." He finished. We all nodded and James asked Vi first. Vi said truth so James, being the nosey prat he is, asked her whom she liked. Vi blushed a deep red and I smirked. "I bet I know…" I said in a singsong voice, because I knew it was Fabian. She asked for another choice and he told her to snog Remus for a minute.

"Uh…sorry Remus, but I'd rather not tell them…" Vi said awkwardly while blushing. Remus, who too was red in the face, shrugged and they leaned in. James was smugly counting and I was laughing hysterically. When the minute was over Vi and Remus quickly parted and sat back down in their seats. Vi glared at me and asked me. I picked dare. "I dare you to…oh! Let Lily and I dress you for your date on Friday," she said, smirking, and I instantly grimaced, I hadn't told the guys about my date and was hoping I wouldn't have to. The rest of the Marauders all yelled, "You have a date!" simultaneously and I glared at Vi. "It doesn't matter…and what's my second choice?" I asked. "Snog Sirius for two minutes." Vi said with another smirk. I nearly gagged and said, "Fine you two can pick out my outfit, but please no skirts." They shrugged and I looked at Sirius and he looked…I don't know, hurt? Disappointed? No, no, no, no, he's your best mate. He probably just wanted to cross you off his snog list. I decided that was why he was disappointed and kept going with the game.

I was sitting on the couch with Remus during our free period, which was our last class of the day. "So Amos Diggory? Fine, but I'm going to have to have the scary older brother talk with him later." Remus said, smirking. I laughed and sarcastically said, "Oh yeah, because you're so scary." We started mock fighting about how scary he was when Vi and Lily came in and grabbed me. "No! Remus save me, they will kill!" I begged as I was being bragged up the stairs. Remus just laughed and opened his book, letting Lily and Vi take me.

"Okay, so Lily is in charge of clothes and I'm doing your make-up and hair." Vi said excitedly. "Whatever-WAIT did you say makeup?" I asked frantically, I never wore makeup. "Yup, but you're lucky. We were going to make you wear a dress and heels, but Amos told us about your date and it'd be kind of weird for you to be dressed like that." I gave them a confused look; I still didn't know what we were doing on our date. They winked and Lily went to pick out my clothes and Vi started on my hair.

When they were finally done I stood in front of Vi and Lily and they both gasped. I turned around to the mirror and was dressed in a simple sort of frilly shirt, skinny jeans, make up, and some sneakers. Overall I liked the outfit, the shirt was a little girly, and I would have preferred no make-up, but overall it looked like something I would wear. I do admit I looked nice. "Oh you look wonderful Izzy!" Lily gushed. I rolled my eyes, and said, "Thanks Lils." Vi looked at a clock and said, "Oh! It's almost five you have to go!" I walked down the stairs and some people turned to see who was coming down and turned back to their homework or whatever they were doing, but then did double takes. Soon, everyone was staring at me and I awkwardly waved. Almost every guy's jaw was dropped and some girls were giving me glares, while others were smiling encouragingly. Remus walked up to me and gave me a smile and with his eyes told me to leave. I smiled and gave a small nod. I noticed people whispering about me to others.

I quickly walked through and out of the Common Room. "Have fun! Oh and Izzy, you look gorgeous!" the fat lady yelled back at me. I waved and started running down the hall. I ran to the doors by the Great Hall and saw Amos waiting for me.

"Hey Amos!" I exclaimed cheerfully and noticed he was hiding something behind his back. "Hey Izzy, you look great." Amos replied beaming at me, he was wearing a button up shirt, some jeans, and some sneakers. "Thanks, you look nice too Amos and I let Lily and Vi dress me as a dare. They said they wanted to put me in heels and a dress, but didn't when you told them the date you have planned would make it weird…?" I said, wanting him to tell me what the date was. He nodded and smiled and took out what was behind his back.

He pulled out a beautiful white Lily. I gasped and took it. Lily's were my favorite flowers (ironic since I used to hate Lily). I looked back up and smiled at Amos. "Thanks, I love lilies." I said. "I know, you told me that day we were using them in potions." I smiled that he remembered and put the lily in my hair. "Well…shall we go?" He asked, holding out his hand. I took it and he led me outside. We past Hagrid's hut, and Amos stopped to talk to him. "Hey Hagrid so is he ready?" Amos asked politely. "Yep, Huskhooves is ready 'or ya kids." Hagrid replied happily. Amos nodded and took me to a spot right outside the forbidden forest. Amos whistled and a hippogriff came out.

"Oh, so this is Huskhooves huh?" I inquired. Amos chuckled and nodded. I bowed down low while not breaking eye contact with Huskhooves, how we were taught in Care of Magical Creatures in our third year. He bowed too and Amos did the same as me. Soon, we both were petting Huskhooves. "Okay, now do' you want to ride him?" Amos asked. I nodded happily; I have always wanted to ride a hippogriff. He got on then helped me up. I was behind him and put my arms around his chest, and then we took off. We flew for around ten or so minutes and I loved it. I loved to fly- on anything; broomstick, dragon, hippogriff, I love them all. I hopped off Huskhooves and he walked back into the forest. I shook my head and laughed, turning to Amos.

"So you ride hippogriffs often?" I teased, and smirking. "Oh you know…now and then." He answered, playing along and shrugging. "-But I did want this date to be fun, since I know you're not one to like boring dates where we awkwardly sit in Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop." He said, fake shuddering. I laughed and nodded in agreement. "So you want to go down to the lake?" Amos suggested. I nodded and he took my hand, taking me out to the lake.

We sat by a tree for about an hour or so just talking and joking about things. At some point when we were both laughing very hard about some stupid joke Amos looked at his watch. "Oh shoot, we're late to dinner!" He stood up and stuck out his hand for me to grab. I grabbed it and he pulled me up easily. "You're stronger than you look you know…" I complimented. He cocked his head and said, "Is that good…or bad?" I smirked and shrugged and we grabbed hands, going to the Great Hall.

We walked into the Great Hall, still holding hands. "Well, I had a lot of fun Amos! Thanks." I said, with a smile. He nodded, smiling too and I kissed him on the cheek. He blushed and kissed me on the cheek, making me blush too. I fake glared and made myself stop blushing. "Bye." I said, while letting go of his hand and walking to the Gryffindor table and he waved. As I walked I noticed people had been staring at us and were now whispering. I start to fast-walk over to my friends.

I sat in between Lily and Vi. To my left were Vi the Fabian and Gideon was across from Fabian, making sure there was at least a seat in between him and the Marauders. To my left were Lily then Remus, James was across from Lily and Peter was across from Remus. Across from me was Sirius. Lily squealed, "OHMIGOSH! You two are so cute! You were like having a blush fight!" I rolled my eyes and said, "A 'blush fight'? Really Lils?" She nodded happily and I rolled my eyes again and turned to face Sirius. "Hey Padfoot!" I said cheerfully. "Hi." He replied, roughly. "What's got your wand in a twist?" I asked, concerned. "Nothing. I just never thought that the Gryffindor princess would go out with the Hufflepuff prince." I just blankly looked at him. _The 'Gryffindor Princess? What is this nonsense? _"What the heck are you talking about?" I asked, completely confused now.

"You're the Gryffindor Princess." Sirius said back, like it was obvious. "What? No I'm not! That should be Lily!" I yelled, shaking my head. Lily turned to me, "Look Izzy, you're a prefect, on the Quidditch team, love Gryffindor, are an Marauder, a straight O student, and are all around liked by almost everyone." I scoffed and rolled my eyes, but stopped because everyone else started agreeing with Lily. "What! Look guys, it sounds nice, but it isn't completely true! Yes I'm a prefect, and am on the Quidditch team, but-" James interrupted me, "Just shut up Scars! You are now DEAL. WITH. IT. You are the Gryffindor Princess" I glared and saw from the Hufflepuff table Amos's friends looking at me, and then Amos looked at me and blushed. I smiled at him and waved. Sirius noticed and turned around to look at whom I was waving to. He saw Amos and instantly turned back and rolled his eyes. I glared at him. Then Sirius randomly stood up and walked over to some of his Ravenclaw fan girls who are in our year. He started talking to them and in less than a minute he had his shoulder over one of the, and was walking out of the Great Hall.

I rolled my eyes and muttered, "Man whore," making Vi crack up. I laughed with her while the others just stared at us. Soon we went back to the Common Room and went to bed.


	8. Leo's time

Chapter 9

I woke up to someone shaking me. "IZZY! Wake up! Your first Quidditch match is today!" Vi yelled; she was the one shaking me. "No…5 more minutes…" I mumbled into my pillow. "No! Get up now! Remus told me about the ice water!" She threatened. I sat up, clutching my blanket, and said, "You wouldn't." "Uh, yes if you don't get your lazy arse out of bed, I think I will!" she replied. I groaned loudly and got out of bed. I out dressed in a Gryffindor Quidditch sweater and dark wash jeans. I put my hair up in a ponytail and we went to the Great Hall. Today was Saturday and we had a Quidditch match against Slytherin.

We ate breakfast with everyone then Sirius, James, and I went down to the Gryffindor player's tent. We put on our red robes and Luke sat us down, giving us all a long lecture. Luke is obsessed with Quidditch; I find it kind of funny actually. We all walked out and a lot of people were shocked to see me on the team. Firstly, I happen to be the only girl on the team. Secondly, barely anyone has ever seen me fly, let alone play Quidditch before. Well, I was going to show them. The game started and Sirius and I started to hit bludgers and I heard a familiar voice commentating. "Another bludger hit by Lupin, who knew that girl had such an arm!" Gideon said into the microphone. I laughed and shook my head.

About five minutes into the game Gryffindor scored, and Gideon was making almost everyone laugh from his commentating. "GRYFFINDOR SCORES! Yes! Oh Sirius Black just doges a bludgers by inches, making, his cousin, Vi Black is hiding in my brother, Fabian Prewett's chest. You really fancy each other. Who else thinks they should go out?" he asked, because we love to tease them. I laughed and yelled, "ME!" at the top of my lungs, along with some of our other friends. I looked over at Vi and Fabian who were both blushing deep reds. I heard McGonagall yell at Gideon and I kept flying around and hitting bludgers. About twenty minutes past, I looked over at James and saw a bludger coming right at his head. "Prongs! Move!" He turned and nearly missed it from hitting his head. I sighed in relief and felt something jab my head-hard. That last thing I felt was my hand slipping off my broomstick…

"Shouldn't she be awake now?"

"I don't know, but I wish she would!"

"Gosh, this is all my fault! If I had been paying attention to the bludger about to hit me she wouldn't have gotten distracted!"

"No, Prongs it's more my fault. I should have been watching the bludgers."

I heard a bunch people arguing; about how it was their fault or how I should be awake or something like that. The back of my head throbbed and I was getting a bigger headache from the arguing. I moaned quietly and slowly opened my eyes. No one must have heard my moan because the other Marauders, the rest of the Quidditch team, Amos, Fabian, Gideon, Vi, and Lily were all arguing. I sat up, with difficulty because my leg was in a cast and sling, being elevated.

I took a deep breath and screamed at the top of my lungs. Automatically everyone put their hands to their ears. I stopped and casually asked, "I'm alive, happy?" Everyone except Fabian and Gideon yelled, "IZZY!" while the twins yelled, "BELLE!" Everyone started running over to me. Sirius and Remus got up first, then James, Lily, and Vi, then Amos, then the twins, then Peter, and then the rest of the team came to give me hugs. "Wow…are you guys sure I didn't die? Cause you're acting like some miracle happened and I came back from the dead." Everyone got quiet. I looked at them questionably and Sirius spoke up," Well Scars… You fell thirty feet from the ground. You've been out all day; it's already eight. There was a really good chance of you dying." I gaped at him. _I almost died? Thirty feet?_ I pretended to not care. " Eh, stupid bludger. Anyway did we win? Prongs _please_ tell me you caught the snitch!" James nodded, but didn't say anything. No one was talking until, thankfully, Madam Pomfrey came in and bickered," Merlin! Thirteen people! Only three at a time! Nine of you OUT!"

I waved to the people leaving and in the end James, Remus, and Sirius stayed. "So dear you have a broken leg and a sprained wrist. Although, I'm surprised you didn't have worse!" Madam Pomfrey said and I nodded, She went back to get me the potion. "So who did it?" I asked. Remus and James were confused, but Sirius understood what I meant. He started, "Their stupid captain Emma Vanity (actually was the captain at the time). She took a bat and did it, she got in so much trouble, but that's not the best part." I looked at him questionably. "Well after James caught the snitch we all started running here and saw her on the way. She was laughing about how she hurt you and Vi punched her in the nose!" he finished, laughing. "Don't forget the other best part! After that she started saying a bunch of crap about you and Vi and Lily punched her in the jaw! I could've sworn Professor McGonagall was walking by and saw, but she acted like it didn't happen! Vanity was whining and McGonagall just said she didn't see anything!" The four of us laughed, but then James and Remus had to leave to go work on homework. Since I had to spend the night in the Hospital Wing Sirius offered to stay with me.

I was happy and we were talking and laughing until we both fell asleep.


	9. Halloween

Chapter 10 – Halloween

Note: I'm sorry I forgot to mention that the match was the day before Halloween so Sirius and Izzy were sleeping the Hospital Wing.

"HAPPY HALLOWEEN!" someone yelled loudly, making me wake and quickly sit up, headfirst into James's forehead. "Ouch!" we both yelled in pain as we grasped our foreheads. "What the heck James?" I heard Sirius ask. Wait Sirius! I looked sideways and saw Sirius with his arms around my waist. "Well I was just wondering why you two were sleeping together," mocked James. I glared at him and tried to silently get Sirius to let go of me. He wasn't taking the hint. I nudged him in the gut as James watched us, smirking. Sirius looked at me confused and I let out a sigh of exasperation. Then James rolled his eyes and explained, "Bloody hell Padfoot! She's trying to tell you to get your hands off of her!" Sirius looked down and realized. He instantly took hands off and quickly stood up, turning slightly pink. Sirius Black-the 'Lady's Man of Gryffindor' is blushing. James seemed to read my mind and said basically what I was thinking. "Ha! Padfoot you're blushing!" James tormented, smirking even more. There was an awkward silence and Vi came in with Peter.

"Well can she leave? We still have to get ready for the dance and it's almost breakfast time," Vi excitedly said. Tonight we were having a Halloween dance for the first time, thanks to me. I talked to Professor Dumbledore and begged to have a party instead of the boring feast. He agreed, but Prefects and Head Boys and Girls have to help the teachers set up.

To answer Vi's question, I shrugged and bellowed, "Madam Pomfrey!" She came in and, after forcing me to drink a few more potions, let me leave. Sirius was avoiding me, but I ignored it. We all walked to the Common Room and Sirius and I went to our dorms to shower and get ready.

About twenty minutes later I walked back down in jeans and a shirt that said 'HAPPY HALLOWEEN!' on it in orange and black. Vi, Peter, James, and Sirius were all waiting for me and we went down to breakfast. When we walked into the Great Hall I smiled; there were already pumpkins and candles set up, not a lot, but enough to make me feel the Halloween spirit. Lily and Remus were already sitting, eating breakfast at the Gryffindor table. I walked over and sat in between them, Lily to my left and Remus to my right. Vi sat across Remus, James sat across me, Sirius was across Lily, and Peter was on the other side of Sirius. Sirius still wouldn't make eye contact with me. Across the table, James kept sending me smirks, while glancing between Sirius and me. Lily must have noticed James's abnormal behavior because she gave me a questioning look, which in reply I just shrugged and acted clueless. Lily obviously didn't believe me because she turned and looked me straight in the eye and gave me a you-will-tell-me-later look. I sighed, but nodded. She smiled in triumph and I turned to Vi and Remus's conversation about some homework.

After breakfast Vi, Sirius, Remus, Peter, James, Lily, and I all went down to the lake and sat by some random tree. I noticed some Slytherin kids across the lake and after looking closer I noticed Severus was there…with Avery and Mulciber. I frowned and looked at Lily, who was looking at the boys too. She turned to me and we both shared disapproving sighs. See, Avery and Mulciber are bad; they believe in the Dark Arts and are just plain mean. They're the type of people you would expect to work for Voldemort when they grow up. Lately, Severus has been spending more time with them and it's starting to scare Lily and me. I kept thinking about Severus until some annoying cackling interrupted my thoughts.

"HEY LUPIN! HAVE A NICE FALL?" I heard a mocking female voice yell. I looked over and saw Emma Vanity(the girl who hit me with the bludger) and her small gang of girls walking over. I tensed up, and noticed everyone else had too. They started to stand, but I stood up quicker and ordered, "Guys, sit. She's my fight, not yours, and you've already done enough to her." I have them a very serious look and they all reluctantly sat back down. I sighed in relief and turned around, and started walking towards Emma.

"Actually Emma, I was passed out for most of it, so I don't really remember," I answered calmly. She cackled again and soon the rest of her gang joined in. I rolled my eyes and looked at her expectedly. "So Em, you mind if I call you that? Of course you don't mind. Anyway, is there anything else you wanted to say? Or are you just going to keep wasting my time?" I asked with fake sweetness. At first she looked taken back, but quickly got over it. "Well your Gryffindork friends punched me, so I would like to repay them," she replied, with the same fake sweetness I had. "Fine, but leave them alone. Hit me instead," I said with sternly; there was no one way she was going to hurt my friends. She raised her eyebrows, and then smirked.

Emma pulled her fist up and went towards my face. Quickly, I grabbed her fist and held it in midair. I was much stronger than her. Her hand trembled as she tried to push it into my face. I raised my eyebrows at her, silently asking her if she still wanted to hit me. Emma looked at me with fear and dropped her hand. I fake smiled and said, "Nice talking to you! Tootles!" and turned back to my friends, who were all looking at me with shocked faces. I shrugged, while smiling and sat back down.

I walked into the Common Room after decorating for the dance and saw Remus alone on the couch, reading as always. "Hey Rems!" I yelled, while plopping myself down on the couch next to him. "Hey Iz," Remus said, putting his book down. "The dance looks awesome! The party is going to be sweet!" I exclaimed in excitement. Remus smiled and we started talking about random stuff until Vi and Lily rushed into the Common Room. They saw me and literally picked me up off the couch by my arms and dragged me to our dorm, with me, screaming the whole time.

About thirty minutes later we were all almost done with our costumes, but Vi was finishing changing her eyes red and Lily was magically highlighting my hair. "So…Izzy what was what was that about during breakfast?" Lily said, and my stomach dropped; I was hoping she had forgotten. "Ummm, you know…stuff," I said, unconvincingly. She rolled her eyes and looked at me in the mirror. By now Vi had abandoned her eye color and was looking at us. I sighed and told them.

"See, it's now big deal. He just forgot to take him arm off me and James was making a big deal about it," I tried to convince them, but they weren't getting it. "Oh my gosh! I knew Sirius liked you!" Vi exclaimed and I turned to look at her, with my eyes raised. "No, no, no he just forgot to let go of me, it's not a big deal," I desperately tried to convince, but this time more to myself then them. "Then why would he blush and avoid you?" Lily pointed out. I shrugged and they both sighed disappointingly, as if I didn't understand something obvious. I stubbornly stopped talking so Lily went back to my hair and Vi went back to her eyes.

Another twenty minutes went by in mostly silence, but when we were done the three of us couldn't help, but compliment each other. Lily was an adorable bumblebee, Vi was a vampire goddess, and I was a zombie fairy. "Lily! You look so cute, you're like a real Lily- Bug!" I said, making Lily blush because James calls her Lily-Bug. "-And Vi you look so cool! Fab is going to be all over you!" I finished, looking at Vi who started blushing too. "Um...yeah he asked me to be his date…" Vi mumbled, making her blush even more. I giggled and Lily said, "You look awesome Izzy! I swear if I didn't see you putting on the costume I wouldn't have guessed it was you!" and Vi nodded her head in agreement. We all complimented each other, until it was ten to eight (the dance starts at eight) and we walked down to the Common Room.

Fabian was sitting on a couch waiting for Vi and when he saw her he rushed over and gave her his arm. Vi took it, making them both blush and leave the Common Room. The Marauders were sitting on a couch and when James saw Lily his eyes almost popped out of his head. He stood up and messed up his hair even more then it was and said, "Wow Evans, you look great." She hid her blush from him, but I still saw it and she replied, "Thanks Potter." The rest of the Marauders walked over and I looked at their costumes. James was a prince (no doubt for Lily), Remus was a pirate, Peter was a goblin, and Sirius…well Sirius was a muggle wearing a black leather jacket and jeans.

"So Evans, who's your friend?" James asked, as he looked at me. I bit my lip to hide my giggle and Lily must have figured why I wasn't saying anything. "Oh just a friend…so who are you guys waiting for anyway?" Lily said, getting them off topic. "Oh well you, Izzy, and Vi. Except Vi went off with Prewett, and Izzy is nowhere to be found," Sirius answered. "Oh! Izzy went down already," I said, in a slightly higher then normal voice. They all nodded and walked out of the Common Room, waving goodbye. I breathed a sigh of relief and Lily cocked an eyebrow. "Why not tell them who you are?" she asked, curiously. "I don't know, but I'll tell them later, swear… Now let's go, I want to dance!" I said, dragging her out the Common Room. As I was dragging her she asked, "Why didn't you just go with Amos? Didn't he ask you?" "He did, but I said I didn't want a date, but that I would save him a few dances," I answered a matter-of-factly. She nodded, smiling and we got to the Great Hall.

Almost everyone was already inside and either dancing, or sitting at one of the small tables that were set up. There were amazingly cut, floating pumpkins everywhere and tons of different sweets and food. Lily looked at the room in astonishment and I just smiled. After she got over the magnificence of the room she grabbed my arm and took me to the dance floor. We started dancing with each other to a fast song and we were having a blast. We danced for a while until the first slow song came on. We shrugged and walked over the butterbeer table; we were both thirsty anyway. We grabbed two butterbeers and sat by an empty table.

Lily and I chatted and laughed at everyone's dancing when James came over. "Hey Evans and, um, girl I don't know…" James said, awkwardly. I laughed, while I said, using my real voice, "Well if you can't recognize your best friend…" His eyes widened and he questioned, "Izzy? Is that seriously you?" I rolled my eyes, but nodded. He just stared at me, looking at my costume. I sighed and stood up. He kept staring at me so I thumped him on the forehead. "Hey! What was that for?" he complained. I smiled and shoved him into my old seat next to Lily. "Well you kids have fun. I have to go dance with someone," I said while retreating and winking at them both.

I walked around until I found someone in a dark cloak. I smiled and taped him on the back and he turned to me. "Who are you?" Severus asked, confused. "Sorry, it's me Izzy." I started and he nodded so I continued, "So Sev how about a dance?" I asked. He smiled and nodded. We went to a random spot in the dance floor and started to dance. I looked around and saw Sirius dancing with…_Ug_ Cathy. I looked around some more and saw Remus dancing with…_bigger ug _Gwen. I mentally, shook my head disappointedly and looked back to Severus. We talked and danced for about two songs, and then I decided to go back to Lily. Severus smiled and waved to me as I left. I went back to our table and saw Lily, who looked as if she had just come off the dance floor too.

"Hey Lils, who were you dancing with?" I asked, while sitting down and taking a sip of butterbeer. "Just some Ravenclaw, I don't even know his name, but that's okay all he could talk about was himself," Lily replied with an annoyed face. I nodded. "I danced with Sev," I said. Lily smiled and said, "Well that was sweet of you Izzy." I shrugged and saw Amos sit down at a table with some friends. I smiled and stood up. "Now I have to go dance with a certain handsome Hufflepuff," I said, while winking and walking over to Amos's table.

"Hey Amos," I said behind him. He said, "Hey Izzy," while turning around, but then he looked unsure when he saw me. "You are Izzy right?" He asked. I laughed and nodded. He smiled and stood up, taking my hand. He waved to his friends as he took me over to the dance floor. We danced to a few fast songs and a few slow songs and we were having a lot of fun. After a while of dancing Amos asked if I wanted to go outside. I smiled and nodded; it was getting really hot.

He took me out to the courtyard and there were couples everywhere in the darkness. I hoped Remus wasn't out here with Gwen snogging. I knew that Sirius and Cathy would be out here somewhere. I almost gagged mentally at the thought as Amos lead me down to a stone bench, that was secluded by some bushes and trees. We sat down and Amos seemed a bit nervous. "Uh Izzy may I ask you something?" Amos asked. I nodded, knowing what he wanted to ask. "Uh, well. Would you- um would you do me pleasure of…Okay, would you be my g-girlfriend?" he stuttered. I smiled and leaned in, kissing him. He froze for a minute then started to kiss me back, smiling under it. There were sparks and I wanted the kiss to last forever. After a few minutes we pulled back smiling and I said, "Of course I would." He smiled even more and gave me another short kiss.

We walked back to the Great Hall, hand in hand. We danced until it was eleven and we all had to leave and go back to the Common Room. We were one of the last people to leave and Amos escorted me back to Gryffindor Tower. We stopped a little down the hall from the portrait hole and Amos kissed me. It was a long, passionate kiss and when we pulled apart we were both panting slightly. We both smiled at each other and I went into the Common Room to find Vi in Fabian's lap, Gideon sitting next to them on a couch, Lily sitting on anther couch next to Remus and Peter, Sirius sitting on a chair, James sitting on the last chair, and I sat down on the floor.

After everyone found out it was I we all started discussing our night. Fabian and Vi are now dating which everyone was happy about, Gideon danced with some Gryffindor fourth year all night, Remus is thinking about whether to date Gwen or not, which made me freak out. Sirius snogged Cathy almost all night (go figure). James just danced with a bunch of random girls and Lily just danced with some random guys. After they all said their part they looked at me expectantly.

"Oh I…uh, am dating Amos," I mumbled the last part so that it was barely audible, but of course everyone still heard me. Lily and Vi were happy for me. James, Remus, Fabian, and Gideon all went into older brother protective modes, and Sirius…well Sirius looked downright pissed.

_What the heck is going on with my best friend…?_


	10. Best Friend break ups

Chapter 11- Best Friend break ups

November passed quickly. Amos and I went to Hogsmeade on dates and we kissed when no one was looking. Remus, James, Fabian, and Gideon _all_ gave Amos the talk about if he breaks my heart he's dead blah blah blahhh. Everyone is happy for Amos and me…_mostly_. Ever since I started dating Amos, Sirius has been completely ignoring me and I can't stand it. Usually he just stays away from me or leaves when I enter a room, but during the full moon he made no eye contact with me whatsoever as I was healing him. Whenever I see him now he's either with the rest of the Marauders, but only when I'm not with them, or snogging some random fan girl.

Right now, I am in the library with Lily because she forced me to come in here and study for our OWL exams. I just plucked some random Herbology book from a shelf and opened it, pretending to read it, but really I have been arguing with myself in my head for the last ten minutes.

Why won't Sirius talk to me?

_It's obvious! _

No it isn't!

_He loves you! Just get over it and admit it!_

No he doesn't! He would have told me!

_Oh come on, would you want to tell your best friend, for years, that you love them, when you know they like someone else._

Ug…He doesn't love me! Sirius doesn't love he just snogs!

_Admit it! HE LOVES YOU._

No!

_Yes!_

NO.

_YES!_

No, there is no way that Sirius-

Someone snapped in my face, I looked up and saw a peeved looking Lily. "Izzy!" she hissed. "What?" I asked. "You were not reading," she said flatly. I sighed and shrugged. "What are you thinking about?" she asked, softening her expression and placing a caring hand on my shoulder. "Sirius…" I answered quietly. "You still won't accept it huh?" Lily asked. I looked at her. "No because it's not true! And I'm sick of you all telling me that!" I hissed. She sighed and I angrily stood up. "I'm going to go meet up with Amos, my _boyfriend_ by the lake. Bye Lils, have fun studying," I huffed and left.

I walked out to the lake where Amos and I usually meet up. I was still a little late, but Amos still wasn't there. I waited for ten more minutes and sighed sadly. He must have a good reason…he wouldn't just stand me up. I walked back up to the castle and, while on my way to the Hufflepuff Common Room, heard someone calling me name behind me. I turned around and saw Vi running to me. She stopped in front of me, panting hard. "Amos -_pant_- hospital -_pant_- wing," was all she managed to say and I started running the other direction; to the hospital wing.

I ran inside and saw Amos's friends surrounding a bed. I walked towards the bed and his friends let me through. I gasped at what I saw. Amos had two black eyes, a cast around his wrist, and his head was bandaged up.

"Amos, are you okay?" I asked, getting down on knees and gently taking his hand. "I'm fine, but Izzy can I talk to you?" he asked. I nodded and his friends all walked out. "Um, I'm sorry Izzy, but I have to break up with you," he said, looking at me. I instantly dropped his hand and stood up. "I'm sorry, but Black said if I didn't he would keep doing this," Amos explained and I head shot up. "_Sirius_ Black did this?" I asked and Amos nodded. I looked him into his eyes and saw that he wasn't lying. I took in a short breath of air. I was furious. "I'm so sorry Amos, I never wanted that to happen," I said, feeling very guilty. "It's okay, he caught me in a full body-binding curse then punched me in the eyes then used _levicorpus_ (picks you up by the ankle) and dropped me on the ground on my head and I ended up failing on my wrist too hard," he said. I gently kissed Amos on the head for the last time. I sadly smiled at him and walked out.

I nodded at Amos's friends who were waiting and I started walking, very quickly, to the Common Room. I yelled the password and stormed in. I saw Sirius talking to James and walked up to him. He looked up at me guiltily and I slapped him. I slapped him as if my life depended on it, just one short, very painful slap. I was so infuriated I didn't even notice everyone staring at me. I said nothing and walked up to my room, my palm still aching. No one was in our room and I just ran my hand under cold water. I walked to my bed and just laid down on it, looking up at the ceiling. I stared at the ceiling patterns. I didn't think; I didn't do anything except breath, blink, and stare.

Eventually the other girls all came in and went to sleep. Lily and Vi must have either thought I was asleep, or knew I wouldn't want to talk about it. Once I heard the four girls' soft snoring I got out of my bed. I held onto my locket as I walked down to the Common Room. It was already over two in the morning and only one person was still in the Common Room. It, coincidentally, happened to be the one person in the world I needed to talk to most and wanted to talk to least.

Sirius was sitting in the same couch, staring into the fire. I looked at his cheek; there was a bright, red handprint on it and for once, I didn't feel guilty. Okay well maybe a little guilty, but wither way I still felt good. I felt good that I caused him some pain that he caused me. I took a step and Sirius turned around quickly.

He saw me and turned back around. I walked up to him and sat on an armchair across from his couch. There was a huge silence and I spoke.

"Why?" I asked randomly. He looked up at me for the first time. "Why?" he repeated. "Yes, WHY? Why did you do it? Why did you purposely ruin my relationship with someone that I really liked?" I asked in a stronger tone. "Because…because…because I love you! Dammit Scars! I have loved you ever since I tried to get you to kiss me on the train your first day! I loved you when we tried to beat each other up on this floor! And it killed me to see you so happy with someone who wasn't me! It hurt and I couldn't just leave it anymore," Sirius hissed. I gaped at him.


	11. The Emotional War begins

Chapter 12 – And the Emotional War begins

I sat in my seat, frozen at what had just come out of his mouth. Sirius Black just told someone he loved her, that person being me. He looked at me searchingly, but I was completely blank. I stared at him until I regained my train of thought and opened my mouth, anger replacing the shock.

"That doesn't excuse what you did Sirius! You hurt me! If you really love me you would want me to be happy! You just wanted yourself to be happy and have me. You forced Amos to dump me so you could get what you want! Well I am defiantly not going to be with you Sirius! You hurt me to help yourself! You snog a different girl every night and you expect me to believe that you _love _me? Well I don't believe it and I don't care what you have to say, I'm leaving," I half-yelled harshly. I stormed out of the Common Room and jogged down the hall.

I slowed my pace to a fast walk and stormed down the seventh floor hall. All I could think was that I needed a place to think, a place to be alone where no one could find me. As I walked down a door appeared and I walked inside. There was a simple room with a couch. This must be the Room of Requirement…

I slumped down on the couch and was freezing. I thought about needing to be warmer and a fire appeared. I smiled and stared into the fire, all my thoughts scattered around my brain.

_Do I believe Sirius loves me? _

_No, I can't. _

_But what if he does?_

_He hurt me too much and no one would do that to whom they love no matter what reason. _

_But he was just jealous._

_He could have just told me. _

_Was I too harsh?_

_If he had just told me I would have given him a chance. _

_Maybe deep down inside I love him? _

_NO. He did a horrible thing and should not have your love._

_But maybe I have been hiding it from myself? _

_Think about Amos! YOU LIKE AMOS AND SIRIUS HURT HIM TO BREAK UP WITH YOU._

_I like Amos, but what if I love Sirius._

_What if…_

_What if…_

_What…_

My thoughts finally settled down as I took one last look at the fire before drifting off into a, thankfully, dreamless sleep.

I woke up and looked around the room. I was still in the Room of Requirement. I looked at my watch and saw it was a little before six in the morning. Quickly, I got off the couch and after memorizing the location of the room, went back to the Common Room. When I quietly walk in, sadly, instead of an empty Common Room I saw Vi's, Lily's, Remus's, James's, and Peter's relieved faces. Sirius was there too; he was just looking at the ground.

Remus ran up to me first and pulled me into a hug. "Where were you Izzy? I was so worried…" he whispered into my hair. I hugged back. "Can't say, but I was completely safe and just fell asleep. I'm sorry, it was an emotional night," I whispered back. He let go of me and nodded understandingly.

I looked around at the others and quietly said, "Sorry guys, but I'm going to get some more sleep I've only slept about two or three hours." They all nodded and I tiptoed up to our room. I slipped into my bed and shut my eyes, letting one tiny tear escape my eye before I fell asleep.

Vi's P.O.V.

I turned in my bed; waking up. I heard muffled yelling. I sat up and looked over to Isabelle's bed. Even in the darkness I could see that it was empty. I heard more muffled yelling and creped out of the room. Without making a sound I crept down the stairs and heard Isabelle's voice harshly yell, "You snog a different girl every night and you expect me to believe that you _love _me? Well I don't believe it and I don't care what you have to say, I'm leaving." I heard the portrait open and close and crept down to the bottom of the stairs. Sirius was sitting down in the couch and had his head in his hands.

I sat down by Sirius and put an arm on his back. He looked up at me. I saw the red hand mark on his face that was given this afternoon, but that wasn't the worst. I looked into my cousin's eyes and saw so much hurt and misery, then changed to worry.

"Vi go get Lily and I'll get the guys; we need to tell them that she ran off," he ordered urgently. I nodded and went upstairs. I gently shook Lily awake and pulled her downstairs. The guys were all already there. They all looked worried, but Remus and Sirius the most. I hugged Remus then Sirius. We all sat down, wondering about where Isabelle was and hoping that she was safe. I kept glancing at Sirius who looked depressed. He must have told her the truth, spilled his guts out and she just pushed him away.

Eventually we all drifted to sleep. I randomly woke up after what felt like minutes, but really had been hours. It was six and it looked as though Sirius hadn't slept at all. I looked sadly at my cousin. Everyone had woken up from his or her little sleep now and we went back to waiting. Ten minutes later the portrait door finally opened and in walked our best friend. Remus ran up to her and hugged her tightly. She said something about getting little sleep and went up to our dorm. I sighed as I looked at Sirius looking at the ground; I could feel an emotional war coming up.


	12. Stupid Feelings

Chapter 13 – Stupid feelings

I was doing my Charms homework in the almost deserted, and freezing library. I looked out the window. It looked like it was about to snow. I stared at the large Black Lake.

It's been a few weeks since Sirius and me had that…_talk._ We haven't talked whatsoever, but it's different from when I was dating Amos. It's worse. I still have no idea if Sirius was telling the truth or not and I'm not sure what to do. No one is helping very much either. Fabian and Gideon are staying out of it and Vi, Lily, and the other Marauders are refusing to take sides. Lily almost took my side, but Vi talked her out of it. I'm glad they didn't take sides, but I also wish they did at the same time. Thy keep trying to get Sirius and me into the same room and talk, but we won't. He always looks miserably whenever he's anywhere near me and I feel terrible. I lost one of my best friends and I'm not sure if our friendship will ever be the same.

I saw a glint of white hit the water. I looked at the sky and saw it was snowing. I smiled slightly. I loved the snow, but this time it was a bit depressing. Ever since my first year here, I always begged the guys to go out in the snow with me. Fabian and Gideon never wanted to, James was always too lazy, Peter was…I don't know, too scared? Severus never would. Remus always just wanted to read instead, but Sirius, Sirius would always go outside with me. We would make snow angles and have a snowball fight, and somehow in the middle of our snowball fights, Peter, Remus, and James would always come out and join us. After we were all freezing and red nosed we would go back inside to the kitchens. The house elves would always greet us cheerfully and give us hot chocolate.

I sadly bit my lip; knowing that this winter would be different. No snow-angles, no snowball fights, no hot chocolate, no best friend. I shook my head and turned back to my homework, finishing it. I audibly sighed and stood up, slinging my bag over my shoulder. I was about to leave when I heard someone quietly weeping behind a bookshelf. I walked towards the weeping and saw a, grim, Ravenclaw boy rubbing the back of a younger looking Slytherin girl who was the person crying. I slowly walked up and the boy saw me. He looked like he didn't know what to do.

I put my backpack on the floor and walked over to them. I rubbed the girl's back like the boy and she looked up, her face tearstained. Her tears kept running down her face and I gently pulled her into a warm hug. After about ten minutes she sniffed and pulled away, taking the boy's hand. "Thanks," the boy said solemnly, politly. I nodded and gently said, "Do you two want to talk? I know the perfect place that will be private." The little girl looked at the boy who nodded thankfully. I smiled warmly and the girl took my hand.

I grabbed my backpack and led them to the Room of Requirement. _I need a place where we can talk and no one except us can know or hear. _The door appeared and we all walked in. There was a couch and a chair. I thought more specifically and a fire and some tissues appeared. I gave the tissues to the girl as she and the boy sat down on the couch, and I sat on the chair.

I patiently waited until they were ready to talk. After another few minutes and the boy opened his mouth, starting to tell me their story.

The boy is Aaron Keener, a third year Ravenclaw. The girl is Alicia Keener, a first year Slytherin. They are brother and sister and don't let their houses get in-between them. They are half-bloods and their mother is a muggle, who loves them very much even though they're magical. They're father also lives with them and has work in the Ministry of Magic. Anyway, today Professor Dumbledore called them into his office today and told them their mother had died from a muggle illness last night.

As soon as Aaron had finished his story I went up and gave Alicia a hug. When I pulled away I gave Aaron a hug. At first he was surprised, but then he hugged back. I could feel a tear hit my shoulder. I sadly smiled and pulled away. I sat back down and the three of us talked, we talked about random things, and soon enough they were both chuckling. They stood up, feeling much better, and I did the same. We all walked to the door and right before opening it, I stopped. They stopped too and looked at me.

I smiled at them and, "Guys, your mother would be really proud of how brave you're being and I'm sure she's looking down at us right now. Remember she loved you. Also, remember that I'm here anytime to talk, just go to the Gryffindor Common Room and ask for me, if I'm not there I'm probably be by the lake. I've dealt with loss and know what it's like. What I'm trying to say is…just remember I'm always here. Alright?" They nodded thankfully and we walked out. Alicia grabbed her brother's and mine hands and we walked to the Ravenclaw Common Room. Aaron kissed his sister's head and smiled at me, silently thanking me. I smiled back and kissed his cheek lightly. He blushed, making his sister giggle, and went inside.

I took Alicia to the Slytherin Common Room entrance and she looked at me. "Thanks Izzy, you really helped," she said with a tiny smile. I pulled her into a small hug and she hugged me back. She gave me one more thankful look then walked inside. I smiled to myself, knowing I had helped someone in need.

I walked back into the Common Room and instantly wanted to turn back around. The rest of the Marauders were there with Lily. Ever since the Sirius thing I have been kind of distancing myself with them, but only because they're either with Sirius, or they are trying to figure out what happened between us. Vi is the only one who says she doesn't care, but I think she's not telling me everything.

The guys and Lily looked up and saw me. Sirius looked to the ground and I gave a sort of grimaced, fake smile. Lily stood up and pulled me to the chair she had been in. I took a deep breath and reluctantly sat down. She happily smiled and squished herself next to me. They stared at me and I looked at the ground like Sirius. I could fell the four of them looking between Sirius and me, but I pretended to be very interested in the rug pattern. There was silence. No one was talking whatsoever.

Remus broke the silence. "So…it's snowing," he attempted, probably hoping that would perk Sirius and me up. I nodded once, still looking at the rug. More silence. Then I suddenly stood up. "You know, I'm battered, I'm going to go to sleep," I faked yawned for emphasis and ran up to our dorm. I could almost feel the disappointing looks from my friends from behind. I went into my room and saw Cathy and Gwen giggling. _GREAT._ They giggled some more and I snapped, "What are you twits giggling about?" They giggled some more and Cathy mockingly said, "Oh you know…just some _Sirius_ stuff," and evilly winked. I felt my heart drop, but why? _I DON'T LIKE SIRIUS! …Right? …Stupid feelings!_

In reply I just rolled my eyes and shrugged, pretending like I didn't care. I put on my pajamas and lay down on my bed, closing the curtains around my four-poster. Gwen and Cathy's gossiping died down eventually and was replaced by their light snoring. Vi and Lily came in and went to sleep eventually too. And after what felt like hours my brain finally settled down and I felt my eyes closed one last time before I unconsciously fell asleep, my brain exhausted.


	13. Heartbroken

Today was the day before winter break started. Tomorrow Vi, James, and Sirius are going to James's house, Remus and I are going home, and Peter is going to his family, which no one really knows about...

Anyways, I was eating breakfast alone and reading my charms book. Dreading to go to my first class, Herbology, with Sirius and his fan girls. Ever since the fight I have basically just done my work in class, and not talked to anyone, but I was hoping that today I would meet some nice Ravenclaw and maybe make a few new friends.

From the corner of my eye I saw James sit down next to me and I put down my Charms book. "Hey Scars," James said, grabbing some food. "Hey Prongs, please tell me you're not going to talk about Sirius," I hopefully begged. He shook his head and smiled. I audibly gave a sigh of relieved and he laughed. We started talking about the holidays.

"This year, my parents decided to make a huge Christmas ball," James said and I nodded, taking a sip of my water. "Oh by the way my cousins are dressing you," James mumbled quickly, but I still understood. I spit out my water all over the table. "WHAT?" I screamed, making everyone looks at me. "He he he ... sorry everyone. His fault," I apologized, pointing to James. All the students laughed, and you could tell the even the teachers were suppressing chuckles, except Dumbledore and Slughorn, who actually laughed along with the students. As everyone turned back to his or her own conversations, I turned back to James, with a frightening look my face.

"What did you say?" I asked through gritted teeth. "My cousins that go used to go to Beauxbatons and graduated a few years ago..." James mumbled. "Really? And they are going to _dress me_?" I huffed and he nodded. "Anyway how's Herbology going?" he asked, changing the subject. I groaned, "Urg horrible ever since my only best friend in that class told me he lo- I mean until he got in a fight with me, so now I'm really lonely in the class," I said, catching myself before I accidentally told James everything, but of course he caught it. "Wait he told you what? That he llllloooo... What?" James asked and I looked down at my waffle. See, I can tell when anyone is lying, but I myself am I horrible liar.

"Wait lo...lo…lo…" James's eyes went huge and he turned around to me. "Merlin's pants! He told you he loves-" James started to announce, finally getting it, but I cut him off by putting my hand over his mouth. "Will you be quiet? People can hear you!" I hissed, looking around. I took my hand off and James smirked. "He finally admitted he loves you? Wait...then why are you guys fighting? Shouldn't you be together then?" James asked in a lower voice, and I my jaw dropped. "Are you kidding me? No we shouldn't! I don't even know Prongs," I mumbled, looking down at my food again. "Are _you_ kidding-" James started, but he abruptly stopped. I looked up and saw Remus and Peter sitting down across from us. I let out a tiny sigh of relief, that only James could hear, but he gave me the same look Lily gave me a few months ago, a we-will-talk-about-this-later-look. I gave him a small glare and we all started talking about random pranks and the holidays.

When it was time for me to go to class, (since I was going outside) I went out the Great Hall alone. I looked at the rest of the Gryffindor table and saw Sirius with Cathy, Gwen, and some other fan girls. He looked my way and I instantly turned my head to the Slytherin table. I saw Alicia with some friends and she saw me. Alicia gave me a bright smile that I returned, just less bright and much smaller.

As a walked down the path Hagrid made for Herbology classes I looked at the snow on the ground. I miss playing in the snow with Sirius deeply. Vi and Lily made some snow angles with me, trying to cheer me up, but it's not the same. I've been sad a lot lately. My friends keep trying to make me my normal hyper, loud, annoying, yet loveable, self (their words not mine) again, but nothing seems to work.

I walked into the greenhouse and stood by a table, pulling out a book. When everyone had finished coming in Professor Sprout told us to get into groups of two. I grimaced and looked around the room. Almost everyone had a partner except a Ravenclaw boy with blonde hair. Professor Sprout noticed him and me without partners and suggested, "My. Lovegood why don't you work with Miss Lupin?" He nodded and walked over to me. "Hello I'm Xenophilius Lovegood," he greeted happily. "Hey, Isabelle Lupin, but call me Izzy or Belle. Oh and can I call you Xeno? You have a LONG name," I asked and he nodded. "Sure you can and I'll call you Belle," he said and we got to work.

For the rest of class we worked with Fanged Geranium and I got to know Xeno better. He told me about how he wants to have a magazine when he grows up. He also told me about Nargles and Crumple-Horned Snorkackes. When it was time for class to end Xeno and me had become great friends because he may be odd, but he's fun to be with. He made me laugh, and I completely forgot about Sirius and his fan girls. I saw Professor Sprout looking at us and I smiled my thanks to her. She smiled back and turned to work with some other plants.

I walked down to the dungeons for advanced potions. Ever since Amos broke up with me it's been kind of awkward to be partners since we both still sort of like each other and had a forced break-up. I admit ever since I realized I might like Sirius I have started liking Amos less and less, but I don't know how he feels. I went into the room and almost everyone was there. I put my backpack on my table and stood by Vi and Lily's table. We talked about random things until Slughorn came in and I took my seat by Amos.

"Today, we will be playing a making Love Potions, can anyone tell me what they do?" Professor Slughorn asked the class. I lazily put my hand up and he pointed to me. "A love potion makes the drinker infatuated or obsessed with someone, but it is not permanent because no one has yet figured out how to actually bottle real love," I answered casually. "Very good Miss Lupin, ten points to Gryffindor! Now what will happen if you smell a love potion?" asked Slughorn and a few moments later he pointed to someone behind me. "You will smell what you are most attracted to," answered Lily's voice. "Good Miss Evans! Another ten to Gryffindor! Also, what are two common ingredients in a love potion?" Slughorn asked one more time. After a few seconds Slughorn, yet again, pointed behind me. "Ashwinder eggs and moonstone and also rose thorns and peppermint," Vi's voice said confidently. "Yes very good Miss Black, fifteen points! Merlin's Beard, the rest of you are letting the younger ones answer everything! Well, all right. Anyway -" He flicked his wand at the chalk board. "-Instructions are on the board, you have one hour, begin now," Slughorn finished. Amos and I started our work awkwardly.

After we made the potions perfectly Slughorn had us smell it. I smelled the air when it snows, Christmas tree (pine), and apples. I smiled; I adored the smell and was a bit disappointed when he closed it.

The rest of the day was normal and I had to pack for tomorrow. I went into the Common Room and only James was there. I knew he wanted to continue our conversation from this morning so he followed me up to my dorm (not in a dirty way!) and sat on Vi's bed while I put my bag, with the undetectable extension charm that I've had since my first year, on my bed.

"So you don't like him?" James asked as I put things in my bag. I looked up at him. "Truthfully…I have no idea Prongs," I said quietly. "Why?" James asked. I shrugged and said, "Well first I don't even know if he really does lo…_like _me like that. Think about it. There are only two girls third year and above in Gryffindor that he hasn't snogged yet," I said thoughtfully. James looked confused and said, "I think you mean three." I shook my head. "It's only Vi -because she's his cousin- and me. Lily got dared once last year- not sure where you were, but it happened," I said and James looked depressed. "But! She told me she hated every second of it!" I added quickly and James perked up. "But what if it's not like that Scars," James suggested. "But what if it is," I replied, continuing packing.

"What's the worst that can happen?" James asked and I sighed. "I get heartbroken and probably lose a best friend," I mumbled, and heard no reply. I looked up and saw James looking very surprised. I rolled my eyes. "Yes James, I am an actual girl with feelings, even if I am a marauder." I said, putting my bag away. "That's not it! It's just you're always so… so tough, I never thought you could be heartbroken by a guy," James said, searching me. "Well James, none of you may know it, but I am heartbroken. Right now, this very second. I just don't show it. Come on it's time for dinner, and James please don't tell Sirius about this conversation," I said, leading the way out of the Common Room as he nodded, looking even more shocked.

I smiled as I walked down the stairs. It felt amazing that I had actually talked to someone about this. I stopped mid-stairs and put my arm out so James stopped. I turned to him and hugged him, whispering, "Thanks Prongs," into his ear. He whispered, "Don't mention it Scars, you needed it. _Bad._" I pulled away and laughed. I happily jumped down the stairs. "Oh crap, I have to get something in my dorm. Come on," James said and I nodded. We walked up the steps to the guy's room and went to their closed door. James opened it and all the new happiness in my body drained out of me. Two people were lying on a bed, one girl and one boy. The girl was in underwear and a bra, while the boy was topless.

They both looked up and the girl was, of course, Cathy and the boy…was my old best friend. The guy who told me he loved me was lying there; snogging another girl on his bed. Sirius's face was filled with regret when he saw me, standing there in the doorway, close to tears. I inhaled a sharp breath and quickly said, "I'm not hungry Prongs. I'll see you later." Before James could catch me, I ran out the Common Room and to the Room of Requirement, using my werewolf speed so there would be no chance of them catching up to me. The door appeared and I ran in. Inside, there was a couch, a fire, and tissues.

I sat on the couch heavily, and for the first time in my life, burst into tears over a guy (Leo doesn't count).

At least I finally knew one thing.

I was in love with Sirius Black, and he had already managed to break my heart.


	14. The Holidays are

I sat in my compartment, purposely alone. Last night was horrible, I cried myself to sleep. I only came back to my room right before curfew because I knew everyone would freak out if I hadn't come back again. The only person who knows what happened is James, but I haven't talked to him, or anybody really, since last night. This morning I woke up very early and went onto the train before any of my friends. I also sat in the Slytherin section so no one would be able to find me, other then Lily and Severus, but I was hoping they would not. As soon as I walked back into the Common Room last night my friends were all waiting for me, but I just walked up to my room and closed my curtains. I'm not sure about Sirius because I can't even look at him.

This sucks. The moment I realize that I'm in love with him was when I saw he was about to shag another girl. He broke my heart the exact second he got it. I felt my eyes burn, but I blinked away the tears. This hurt more then what I turn into every full moon. Emotional pain is worse then physical pain, which is why I usually block it away. After Leo I didn't want to get my heart broken ever again, but no. I let some boy break me again. Except…is Sirius just _some boy_? He's one of my best friends, who _illegally_ became animagis for Remus's and mine health. He was the one who would let me drag him out to go exploring at James's house. He was the one who would push me into the Black Lake during May and June days when I wouldn't shut up about how hot it was. But, he was a man-whore. He uses women and doesn't care about it later. He's a heartbreaker who doesn't give a shit.

I shook my head, angry with myself for thinking about him. I rested my head on the window and forced myself to sleep.

I hit the ground, waking up from my sleep. The train had stopped and we were pulled into the station. I stood up and stretched. I walked off the train and saw Remus with our parents. I put on a fake smile and walked over.

"Hi Mum, Dad," I said as my mother pulled me into a hug. After her my dad hugged me too. While we walked to our Muggle car Remus gave me a sad look; he was one of the only three people, him, James, and Sirius, who can see right through my fake smiles. I half shrugged to him and sat in the car. This was going to be a long holiday.

I opened my eyes to my purple ceiling. I sighed and enjoyed the comfort and warmth of my bed. Today was the twenty-third of December, meaning Remus and I were going to James's house to help set up for the party which would be tomorrow night, Christmas Eve. I stood up and stretched. I went to the bathroom and got ready. To wear for the day I just put on some jeans, an oversized sweatshirt with a tank top underneath, some warm boots, and my locket under my sweatshirt. I put my hair in a messy ponytail and went down to the kitchen.

The only person in there was Remus and he was reading a book as usual. I grabbed some cereal and poured some for myself. I sat down across from Remus and said, "Morning Rems." He put his book down and smiled at me while asking, "Morning Iz, exited?" I shrugged; Remus still doesn't know what happened between Sirius and me, but he knows something happened. Truthfully, I would rather no one know, but of course James knows. Even though he knows what happened I don't think he knows that I actually _love_ Sirius. Before we had to say anything more Mum came in. "Okay guys, Mrs. Potter said for you to be there around ten and it's ten minutes till."

We nodded and I quickly finished my cereal and headed up to my room. I grabbed my already packed bag, and jumped down the stairs. Remus came down right after me and we stood in front of the fireplace. "I'll see you two tomorrow night at the party then on New Year's," she said, kissing our heads. Remus went first, and then I waited for a few moments and walked into the fireplace. "See ya Mum. Potter House!" I said, and with that I was spinning through a bunch of fireplaces and landed, of course on my back, in the Potter's living room.

No one was in the living room so I just decided to go up to my room and unpack. I walked into my room and put my bag on the bed. I sighed and grabbed a book, lying on my bed. I was reading an advanced potions book. A few days ago when I was sitting at home I thought of something. I thought I should make a potion to help werewolves everywhere. I know I won't be able to ever actually get rid of being a werewolf, or reduce the pain, but I can make it so that we keep our human brains. So ever since I came up with that idea I have been reading any advanced potion books I can find.

I was reading about some random potion when my door flew open. I didn't even look up from my book until I heard two people simultaneously sequel, "IZZY!" and jump on my bed. My book was hit out of my hands and onto the floor. My two best girl friends were bouncing on my bed and I smiled, jumping up from my position. "VI, LILY!" I squealed back. I started jumping and my door flew open again and James burst in. "Jamsies!" I yelled, while jumping off my bed and onto him. Somehow, he caught me, without falling over, bridal style. "Hey Izzy," he said casually. I laughed and he took me out the room, the girls following.

James took me down the stairs and into the kitchen, with me laughing. Mrs. Potter, Sirius, and Remus were in there and as soon as I saw Sirius I stopped laughing. I slid out of James's arms and sat down next to Remus, making sure not to look at Sirius, who was on his other side. You could literally feel the awkward and depression in the room. There was just silence, until Mrs. Potter jumped in and said, "Okay! Um I have jobs for you all to do. James and Violetta on tinsel, Lily and Remus on the tree, and Izzy and Siri…I mean opps, Sirius and Violetta on tinsel, and James and Isabelle on food. Isabelle, there's a list of food right here. Also James, please listen to Isabelle, she can cook so you're her assistant." James went red and I couldn't help but laugh, even with Sirius in the room. Everyone laughed at James. Mrs. Potter had to go to work so she went outside.

When we heard the loud pop, meaning Mrs. Potter was gone, Vi and Sirius went to find whenever the tinsel was, Lily and Remus went to the tree, and I took James's hand and led him to the oven. I looked at the list of food to make and we started.

It was a few hours later and James and I were making our about fifth batch of cookies. We were both covered in flour and couldn't stop laughing. James abruptly stopped and looked at me evilly and I raised my eyebrow. "Wha-" I started, but couldn't finish because James ran at me and started tickling me. I started laughing and hitting him until I fell to the ground with laughter and he kept tickling me.

"James! - Stop- it!" I laughed out. "Never!" James yelled wickedly. I was screaming and laughing all in one, and very loudly, so naturally a second later Lily, Sirius, Remus, and Vi ran in. "Are you okay Iz?" Remus yelled, then saw us. "Oh…" Remus finished. I hit James for him to stop and he finally stopped, just noticing our four friends watching us. "Oh…uh…hi…" James awkwardly said, but I stayed silent. Sirius was watching me, and I decided to spare a look at him. I glanced into his beautiful grey eyes and he looked into mine. We kept looking, until he randomly turned around and walked away, leaving me on the floor without a word.

I stood up; ignoring the sympathetic glances from the girls and went back to the cookies. The air was thick, and I knew that they were all staring at me from behind.

_What do they expect? For me to tell my guts out to them about my feelings for Sirius. Well I'm not going to. _

No one was saying anything so I turned around to face them, and I was right; they had been looking at me. "James, we need to ice the cookies and make some cakes. Don't you all still have work to finish? I doubt Mrs. Potter would be happy if we didn't finish what she asked," I half snapped. They nodded and left. James looked at me and sighed, but got to work nevertheless.

The rest of the day was less fun. I talked to James a little bit, but not very much and we finished quickly. Everyone was already done before us and sitting in the living room. I started to go up to my room, but James grabbed my arm. "No, you are sitting down here with all of us," he ordered. I looked at him and saw his serious expression. "Fine, but can I at least get my book?" I sighed and he thought it over and nodded. I walked up the steps as slowly as I could and went into my room.

I grabbed my potions book and went down the stairs, again very slowly. I looked around the room. Vi, Lily, and James were all sitting on a couch. Remus was in a chair, reading a book, with his legs up on the arm, and Sirius was in a loveseat, which had the only seat not taken. I sat down on the hard floor and began to read my book. I was in the middle of reading a very complex potion when James yelled, "Okay! Let's play a game of truth or dare!" I heard everyone agree, but I just continued reading the potion, until I felt someone pick me up. I looked up and saw James holding me up. I let out and aggravated sigh and said, "Fine I'll play, happy?" He happily nodded, putting me down on the floor in between him and Remus.

The game had been going on for about twenty minutes and so far this is what has happened: James licked Remus's ankle, Lily snogged James, Vi had to tell us how far she's gone with Fabian, Remus had to act like a chicken for a minute straight, and now it was Sirius's turn. "Padfoot who is one person you really wish you could snog?" James asked, while glancing at me. I pulled my knees and hugged them tightly. "No one," Sirius answered firmly. "Wait-what, but you do like someone!" James said, surprised. I looked up and saw Sirius looking at me. "No Prongs, I do, I more then like her, but I don't just want to snog her. I want her to be mine, but she seems to think differently and won't give me a chance," Sirius answered and I felt a little sick. It was sweet and all, but it made me horribly uncomfortable. I hugged my legs tighter and didn't look at Sirius.

Everyone was watches us in awe, even James. "Uh isn't my turn?" I asked. Vi nodded and asked, "Truth or dare?" "Truth," I picked. "Okay…why don't you cry in front of anyone, or let us see you when you're upset?" Vi asked and I was surprised by the seriousness of the question. I looked up and noticed everyone looking at me, waiting for my answer. I sighed and answered, "Urm, I guess I do it because something happened to me when I was about ten. It completely broke my heart and I was a mess for a long time. So I decided I wasn't going to let anything, or _anyone_ break my heart ever since then. It worked up until a little while ago, when sadly someone broke it again. Then about a week ago, that same person stomped my already broken heart."

They all just gaped at me, especially Sirius, who probably didn't realize how much he had hurt me. I stood up and said, "I'm going to read then go to sleep. Night everyone, can't wait for the party tomorrow." No one tried to stop me so I just went upstairs, knowing that I had just told them something that they had never expected.


	15. Parties are fun sometimes

It was around four on Christmas Eve and I was lying on my bed, reading again, trying to avoid the others. So far today, Vi, Lily, James, Remus, and Peter (who came earlier today and the others probably told him about last night) have been either trying to talk to me, or acting like I'm a piece of glass. Sirius, on the other hand is avoiding me again, which I don't exactly mind. I wasn't very excited for the party tonight since I knew I'd have to be in a room with everyone for hours and probably just awkwardly stand there, waiting for it to finish quicker.

I flipped the page of my book to another potion when my door slammed open. I looked up and saw James with two pretty young women behind him. "Um, hey Izzy. These are my cousins that are helping you get ready," James said gently. My jaw slightly dropped; I had forgotten they were dressing me. "Oh yeah…but not now though, right?" I asked wearily, not wanting to spend four hours getting ready for some stupid party I barely wanted to go to. The young women laughed nicely and one spoke up with a French accent, "Ov course not! Jamez haz you been tellingz herz we are girly girlz? Zhat iz not true!" I laughed, as the two girls started to playfully smack him. James put his arms up like he was being arrested and accused," I didn't say that! Izzy just assumed since you were from Beauxbatons you were!" I stuck my tongue out at James and he gave a sheepish grin and left.

The other woman yelled out the door, "Andz youz vere right Jamez! She iz very beautifulz!" I laughed and the two girls sat down on my bed as I sat up. We started talking. Their names are Jolie and Annette and they both are in their very early twenties. We got along well because they are not the normal, snobby, annoying girls that are usually from Beauxbatons. After we talked for a few minutes they both went to their room and I leaned against my wall while sitting on my bed. I stared at my, now closed, door and my middle loudly growled. I glared at my hungry stomach. Since I was avoiding everyone I have been in my room all day, meaning I haven't eaten anything since lunch yesterday. Another, even louder, growl came from my midsection and I sighed in defeat, standing up. I looked down at my pajamas, a tank top and shorts. Not really caring about my appearance at the moment, I glumly went down the stairs and into the kitchen.

I went to the counter, singing softly under my breath. There was a plate of still magically warm waffles and I took a few, splattering them with syrup, and sat down, still singing softly. I cut the waffle and put a piece on my fork, but instead of the delicious taste in my mouth, I threw my fork across the room with a yelp, and fell out of my chair. Someone ran up and helped me, the same person who scared me. They helped me back on my chair, picking up my fork, putting it in the sink, and giving me a new one. I whispered thanks and went back to my food. The person sat back down in their seat and stared at me, like they were doing before my little episode. We sat there for five minutes in silence until the person stood up. As the person was leaving the room he said, "see you at the party." Instead of proclaiming my love and running into Sirius Black's arms, I replied, "see you too," as I watched him walk out of the kitchen.

Standing alone in my room, I looked into the mirror, expecting to see myself. Instead I saw a girl in make-up, high heels, and a powder white dress. As I pushed my hair off of my right shoulder, while still looking at the mirror, I gasped. In the mirror I saw the bite and that's how I knew it really was me. The pretty girl in the mirror was Isabelle 'Izzy' Scars Roxanne Lupin. The werewolf, the girl with scars everywhere, the tough beater actually looked...nice to say the least. I stared at my reflection, shocked. My door opened, and I instantly hid my bite mark. Two beautiful women the women who had dressed me, walked in with a box, and a small cardigan. Making sure my hair was over my bite the whole time I took the cardigan and put it on. It only covered my shoulder and down to my elbow because I insisted to not show my shoulder, not that they know why.

I looked at Jolie, who was carrying the box and she opened it, making my eyes huge. "Oh, no, no, no, no! I am not wearing that!" I yelled, backing away. The two stunning French girls in dresses and heels gave me jokingly, malicious smiles as they walked towards me and put the small, jeweled tiara on my head.

I walked down the stairs a few minutes before the other guests were supposed to arrive. I went into the kitchen to check up on the cookies and other pastries, which were still hot thanks to Mrs. Potter. The only person in the kitchen was Remus, reading a book. He was wearing dress robes and looked nice. "Hey Rems," I said, sitting down. "Hey Iz," he said and looked up at me. His eyes went wide. "You _are_ my twin sister right?" he asked, looking at me with a shocked expression. "No it's not me. My name is just Isabelle Lupin, I'm a werewolf, one of the makers of the Marauder's Map, and share your mother, who gave birth to us within the same hour," I answered sarcastically. He shook his head and looked at me, saying, "sorry, but I never thought I'd see you wearing a dress, make-up, and a tiara." I stuck my tongue out at him and the doorbell rang. Remus put him book in his pocket and walked out into the living room while I stayed in the kitchen.

Twenty minutes later everyone was inside the house and chatting amongst themselves. I was finally out of the kitchen and was talking to Annette until Mrs. Potter lightly hit her glass with a small spoon and started to make an announcement. "Alright, we will be having the opening dance now. I have already paired everyone up. Those married or in relationships are already together so just stand by your partner on the dance floor. Those who are not please come to me, or my two nieces (she gestured to Jolie and Annette) and we will take you to your partner." Mrs. Potter said and I suddenly got nervous. What if she paired me up with Sirius? It would be horribly awkward.

I nervously turned back to Annette and she smiled at me, pulling me towards some part of the room. She stopped and I ran into someone. "Crud! I'm sorry," I said to the person I ran into. "It's fine," they said and I knew who it was. In front of me was…yeah of course, Sirius Black. Annette gave me an innocent smile and left. I awkwardly looked at my gold shoes and the music finally started.

It was a quick, but not too quick waltz. It was the perfect type of song for winter.

As soon as the music ended I walked away from Sirius and into the crowd, trying to get as far away as possible from him. Before I could even sit down I was pushed into dancing with someone else. After the dance with the other person, I tried to go sit down and was, again, forced to dance with yet another stranger. It happened again, and again, and _that_ was the start of my night.

I finally got to the butterbeer table without being forced to dance with someone. I grabbed a drink then instantly went outside, just trying to get away from all the people. I looked around in James's garden, which had been made to be like a winter wonderland tonight. I walked on the stone path, freezing cold, but refused to stop until I saw a metal bench secluded by trees. I touched it, expecting it to be ice cold, but instead it was delightfully warm.

_Oh the joys of magic. _

I sat down, not even attempting to drink my butterbeer; it was already frozen solid, and setting it down. I looked around at the snow and sighed sadly. There was a rock sticking out of the snow, not a tombstone, but there were words on it.

_No matter how broken the heart is; the person you love can always fix it. _

_Even when they are the reason it broke in the first place._

I snorted. I didn't believe a word of it. "Yeah right…the person I love doesn't give a shit about me," I mumbled to myself. "Oh I don't think so," said a voice somewhere behind me, a voice I knew far too well, and the voice of the individual I was mumbling to myself about. I looked up at my enemy, and my love, putting on a blank expression.

"What do you want?" I asked harshly. "Well, although I may not know the person you love, I doubt they don't love you back," Sirius Black answered, while calmly taking a seat next to me. His voice and mood made it seem like we were just having a friendly chat about the weather. "Well if he loves me, he has a crappy way of showing it," I replied, with just as much calm as he had, but whether his was fake or not, mine defiantly was just an act.

He leaned back against the bench, putting his hands behind his head. "What did he do that made you believe he doesn't 'give a shit about you'?" asked Sirius, keeping the calm that was already starting to slightly infuriate me. "Well he broke he up with my boyfriend, by actually 'breaking' my boyfriend so he'd dump me. That same night he told me he loved me, but he didn't really tell me, he yelled at me. Making me believe he didn't really love me." I started in one breath and Sirius just watched me, which began to make me even more agitated.

I started talking very quickly. "After that he ignored me and I ignored him back for weeks. And then by the time I actually realized I loved him, he was about to shag a slut, who happens to be my worst enemy. Now, he probably expects me to just forgive him like he never did anything wrong!" I finished, noticing that I had yelled most of the last part.

Sirius just stared at me, looking like he was thinking, searching me. I took deep breath to regain my breathing and looked at him. After a few moments, of what looked like intense thought, Sirius said, "I'm sorry." I went blank at him. _He can't be the Sirius Black I know…_

He must have realized I wasn't going to say anything so he continued, "I'm sorry for everything. All the drama, hurting Amos, telling you how I felt in such a bad way, and then for what you walked into with Cathy, all of that was me being stupid. I really do love you Izzy, I have ever since that day o the train when you broke my nose without a second thought, then fixed it even quicker. I loved you all these years, and I now realize that the only reason I flirted or made out with those other girls was because I was trying to make you jealous. I love how you're the toughest girl I know, and won't let anyone give you crap. I love how you act like the pain you go through on the full moon is nothing. I love your sarcasm, and how you're wiling to help anyone, even when you have worse problems. I love you for so many things it'd take me longer then my life to say them all. Look I know all the things I did were stupid, but please, please forgive me. I've never felt like this with someone else. I love you Scars, with all my heart."

I looked at him, but kept silent. He looked like his heart had broken into a million pieces by my silence. The next thing I did was completely unanticipated by both of us.

I kissed him. Right there on that little bench in James's backyard. At first he just let me kiss him, with no reaction on his part, but after a few moments I felt his arms go around my waist, pulling me closer. As stupid and as sappy as it sounds it felt exactly how a fairy tale kiss should be. I heard music, and saw fireworks. The whole word seemed to melt away as I put my arms around his neck, making us even closer. The only thing I knew was Sirius. Nothing else was there, just Sirius, the bench, and me. It was the most blissful feeling in the world.

After what felt like only moments we pulled away from each other, breathing heavily. My arms were still around his neck and his were still around my waist. I looked at Sirius and he gave me a gleeful, goofy grin. I laughed openly, making his grin wider.

"So…I'm guessing you forgive me now?" Sirius asked, being slightly cocky as usual. I pretended to thing about it and then, as my answer, gave him another light, but sweet, kiss. We smiled at each other, and then he stood up, giving me his hand. I gladly took it and we made our way back to the party, but not before I looked at the rock once more. There was something else written on the rock this time, something that made me chuckle under my breath.

_See? I told you so._


	16. Christmas Cheer

"Happy Christmas Love."

"Mmmmmm," I said as I stretched and yawned, "merry Christmas." I heard the person sitting next to me on my bed chuckle. I stretched again and opened my eyes. Out of surprise I yelped and almost rolled off my bed, but only to be caught by my waist.

I frantically looked around my room, hoping no one had heard my yelp and it seemed nobody had. "What are you doing in here?" I hissed at Sirius, who was cockily leaving his hands on my waist as I sat up in my bed. "Just waking up my gorgeous girlfriend," Sirius said, not removing his hands. I instantly remembered what had happened the night before and a smile grew on my face, but then I worriedly looked at my bed. I looked up at Sirius with a shocked face. At first he looked confused, but then he looked at my bed and realization came to his face.

"What? Oh! No, of course not Izzy! I was just waking you up!" Sirius said, removing his hands. I looked at his now worried face and smiled, while putting my arms around his neck. "Just chill Pads," I said with my best James impression and started to lean in. He started to lean in to until I jumped out of my bed and ran to the bathroom.

"Sorry! Morning breath Hun!" I yelled, remembering that no one outside my room can hear me. I heard Sirius chuckle from my room as I started washing up and brushing my teeth.

I came out about ten minutes later to find Sirius looking through a photo album on my bed. It was an album I made for the five of us, with some Vi and Lily from this year. He looked really rapped up in one photo so when I asked, "Having fun there?" he jumped slightly. I laughed a little and he smiled, but looked back down at the picture. I walked over and looked from behind his shoulder. It was a picture taken in our forth year and the five of us, Peter, Sirius, James, Remus, and me, were all sitting by the lake. I had given a third year a chocolate frog so he would take a picture of us when we didn't notice. He actually did a great job on it.

I looked closer and noticed the Sirius in it looking to the left of him. I followed his gaze and there I was, sitting cross-legged, looking out into the Black Lake. It would have been normal, except his face looked…different. Not like the normal, cocky Sirius Black face, but more like a loving, wanting face. A face I wouldn't have noticed until now. I looked at the real Sirius and saw that he was looking at that too. I smiled and kissed him.

After I pulled apart he smiled at me, not smirked, but a genuine smile, like this was what he has wanted for so long. We stared at each other until I ordered, "Okay, I need to leave and wake everyone up, but if Remus finds you in here, he'll kill you. Get out and pretend to be asleep."

Sirius fake whined and forced me to push him out of the room and after a minute of struggle I managed to kick him out. I put a sweatshirt over my tank top and opened my door. It was only sunrise now so most of the house was quiet. The only thing I could hear was food sizzling on pans downstairs and Mr. Potter whistling.

I tiptoed down the hall and started cracking open everyone's doors. I left them all open and went down to the kitchen. I looked at Mr. and Mrs. Potter and whispered, "It's time." The sound of sizzling and whistling stopped and James's parents had their hands over their ears, while smiling. I smiled back and silently ran up the stairs. I stood in the middle of the hallway and, at the top of my lungs, yelled, "GETTTT UPPPPP EVERYONE! IT'S CHRISTMAS!" I started running to James's room first, while hearing several groans and thumps as people hit the floor. I ran into James's room to see him on the floor and yelled, "JAMES GET YOUR LAZY ARSE OFF THE FLOOR! PRESENTS AND CANDY AWAIT!"

He groaned loudly and I skipped out of the room, barely missing a pillow being thrown at my head. I ran into Vi's, Lily's, Sirius's, Remus's, and Peter's rooms basically yelling the same thing. I didn't stop screaming until I heard five bathroom doors slam shut and my voice was horse. I skipped down the steps and Mr. and Mrs. Potter smiled at me, obviously amused.

"So, this year better than last?" Mr. Potter asked, referring to my friend's reactions. I pretended to think about it and answered, "Well Lily and Vi, bless them, obviously had no idea it was coming. James threw a pillow at me, Peter said some pretty rude things, Remus hit me with a book, and Sirius tried to muffle me in the best way he could." I smiled to myself, remembering that he, already awake, just tried to muffle me by kissing me and, even though it made me feel weak at the knees, I still didn't shut up.

James's parents laughed and I went into the living room, where there was a large, decorated Christmas tree. I plopped myself down on the floor and took in the pine scent. I closed my eyes and just smelled the trees smell, well until I felt someone plop down beside me. I looked to the person and it was a grumbling, but happy looking James.

"Merry Christmas, Prongsie," I greeted cheerfully, looking back at the tree. "Happy Christmas Scars, you seem a lot happier then you've been in a long time," James said, and I could feel him staring at me. I shrugged, not daring to look at him, and replied, "I don't know…I'm just happy, it's Christmas!" I could feel him about to reply to me, but thankfully the others came down. They all looked tired, but happy, except Sirius, who looked down right ecstatic.

James and I stood up and we all made our way down to breakfast, Sirius in the lead. We were all behind when Sirius stepped tried to step through the doorway into the kitchen, but got stuck, making us all stop and look at him. We all looked up and saw a mistletoe hanging right above Sirius's head. It happened to be one of the lovely magical mistletoes that trap whoever walks underneath until another person comes and kisses them. Mrs. Potter turned around and looked at what was keeping us and said, "Oh dear! Sirius I'm so sorry, I forgot to take that one down! There's nothing I can do, someone has to kiss you." The other five kids looked at Lily, but Sirius and me looked at each other, talking through facial expressions. I put on a face that said 'okay, better now then never' and, before Lily could, I walked over to Sirius and kissed him, fully on the lips. After we pulled apart he picked me up, and I ripped the mistletoe off, and then calmly went to sit in a seat.

Sirius followed me and took the chair across from me. I could feel everyone's eyes on us, so I just looked at them and, as calmly as I could, said, "Oh did we forget to mention? As of last night, Sirius and me are dating." Nobody spoke so I just started chewing on some food, then Sirius started, and eventually everyone else did too. I heaved a mental sigh, happy that I got it over with now, rather then later.

The rest of the day went by happily. After breakfast we all opened presents and nobody actually said anything about Sirius and me. After gifts we basically just watched James's new muggle television after the boys, mostly Remus, finally got it set up. Sirius had his arm around me for most of the day and although Remus sent us weird glances, he could have been much worse. I think that seeing his little sister, by a few minutes, kissing one of his best mates and then announcing they're dating slightly sickened him.

A little after lunch Vi and me went to the Weasley/Prewett house to visit Fabian, Gideon, and for Vi to meet Molly and the rest of the family. When we got there Molly's fudge and sweaters greeted us and we both thankfully accepted. Molly, of course, loved Vi and was happy for her and Fabian. She also announced that she would be having another baby sometime in August. For a few hours Vi and me stayed and played with Bill and Charlie, talked, or in Vi and Fabian's case, snuggled with the twins, and chatted with Molly and Arthur. After we left we came home to find Lily being pestered by James, Peter and Sirius watching a Christmas movie, and Remus reading, as usual. I sat down next to Sirius and draped my legs over him, noticing that Remus was trying very hard not to look up from his book.

I actually thought that after a delicious dinner and desert that Sirius and me were off the hook, that is, until Vi and Lily pulled me into a different room, and left Sirius with the guys. I'm guessing they had planned to talk to Sirius about dating me, while Lily and Vi interrogated me because the moment I sat down on Vi's bed they both bombarded me with questions and comments.

"What happened?" "What did he do?" "Eww you kissed my cousin!" "I can't believe you're finally together!" "When last night?" "Wow this is-"

"STOP IT!" I yelled at them while Lily was mid-sentence. They both instantly shut their mouths and looked at me expectantly. I sighed and told them every little detail of last night.

"Wow…I'm so glad!" Vi exclaimed the moment she knew I finished, "He really likes you." I smiled and stood up, fake stretching. "I'm going to go to bed, I'm knackered. Night guys," I said, while fake yawning to seem tired. I left the room and went into mine.

No, I was not actually tired; I just wanted to stop talking about last night and my new relationship with Sirius. I smiled at the photo album that Sirius had left open on my bed. I sat down on my bed and looked through the album, beaming down at all the pictures. A little while after I started looking through the album there was a knock on my door.

"Come in!" I greeted to whoever was at the door, not looking up from the pictures. I heard the door open and felt a person sit down next to me, putting their arm around me. I looked up and saw Sirius, looking slightly nervous, but overall happy. "What's up?" I asked, slightly amused.

He sighed and looked around my room happily, saying, "Oh you know, the normal brother-boyfriend talk, except with three guys, who are your best mates too…" I laughed lightly and complained, "Well at least you didn't have to give every detail of last night." He laughed lightly also and kissed my head, as I rested it on his shoulder.

We sat there looking at my pictures until we heard Remus yell from the hall, "Sirius! It's five past eleven!" I looked at Sirius confusingly and he sighed, standing up. "Oh yeah… I have rules about dating you, like, no hanging out with you in your room past eleven," Sirius explained and I rolled my eyes. He leaned down and kissed me. We stayed in our position for a few more moments until we heard James and Remus yell, "SIRIUS!" and we reluctantly pulled apart.

"And so it begins," I whispered. "And so it begins," he whispered back and left my room. I smiled, knowing that it would never end and went back to my pictures.


	17. Coming Out

_At the moment, there is no potion or substance that can help a werewolf with its transitions or syndrome. One must me near a werewolf to be able to help it, but they are extremely dangerous. It is unknown whether a werewolf is dangerous when there is not a full moon, but many creature experts suspect they are. There is doubt-_

"Hey Izzy."

I snapped my book shut and put it into my book bag before seeing a suspicious looking James sitting next to me on the Common Room couch.

"Oh… hey James," I said, trying to sound as casual as possible. He looked at me strangely, but let it go, taking out his homework. I let out a mental sigh. I had been reading all the books on werewolves I could, especially ones about treatments, but sadly, no one had ever even come close. It seems everyone is too terrified of us to even try to help, but a lot of the information is just lies. We are definitely not dangerous any time other than the full moon, and we are _not _creatures. Every book on werewolves I have read keep making it seem like it is some weird disease that changes us completely. Like we're not even human.

"So…want to help me with Potions homework? Please?" James asked, holding it out, taking me out of my thoughts. "Um, sure," I answered, while shrugging. We moved to a table close to the corner and went to work.

About twenty minutes later, I was waiting in the Common Room for James to come back from the library with a potions book. Looking around, I noticed it was mostly empty. Almost everyone was working in the library, getting ready for the new semester. I sighed and let myself be engulfed by the cushions of the big chair I was curled up in. A few moments of peace went by until I heard the two voices I cannot stand most.

"So," I heard the annoying voice of Cathy Anderson say somewhere behind me, as if she was telling some juicy secret, "It was during our free after lunch, and he purposely made sure to stop me. We walked back here together and went to his room…"

"So, you… Really?" somewhat quietly, squealed the voice of Gwen Hender. I heard Cathy fake giggle and shush her, although I knew it was all and act. If Cathy slept with Sirius, she would want everyone to know.

"Sh, shhh. Yes we did. Let's just say… Sirius Black is definitely as great they say." Cathy finished confidently, and I smirked to myself. Sirius was with me by the lake during our whole free period. He actually told me about how Cathy came up to him as he was leaving lunch to see if they could 'continue where they left off' and he declined her. She just must be too embarrassed to tell the truth.

I heard Gwen squeal even more when, of course, the famous Sirius Black walked in with James. I could almost see it in my head, Gwen squealing and winking at Cathy, Cathy tensing up, but still being a total flirt, and Sirius completely ignoring her and walking over to me.

"I found Sirius in there, Scars, the library, _reading_!" James yelled, completely bewildered, as he and Sirius made their way over to me.

"I was looking at a Quidditch book, Prongs. Doesn't much count," Sirius replied, squeezing his body next to mine in the armchair I was in. I saw Gwen and Cathy whip their heads around to see me, smiling innocently and pretending not to see them.

"Sirius wasn't our free period fun today, we really should sit at the lake more," I said casually, and smirked to myself when I noticed Gwen give Cathy a weird glance, while Cathy looked straight ahead. Sirius and James obviously had not noticed the small exchange between them as they as James sat back down in his chair and Sirius comfortably out his arm around the back of the chair. Cathy and Gwen finally retook their positions and I could hear them whispering about something, until they both, somewhat angrily, went upstairs.

I was smirking to myself, lost in my thoughts about me finally beating Cathy until I realized I was being shaken by James to help him finish his essay already.

After a long half hour of helping James with his essay, I ended up having to help him with a lot of his homework. Sirius, who had been flipping through a motorcycle magazine I had given him as part of his Christmas present, looked like he hadn't even realized that OWL's were coming up. When I helpfully reminded him, he just shrugged and went back to his magazine. I, accidently, let out my audible sigh of disappointment and he looked back at me with a strange look on his face and for the first time ever, Sirius Black took out his homework and actually tried on it.

After about an hour, almost everyone had already been through the Common Room and gone to bed. Remus and Peter had gone straight through the room, talking about their brains falling out, probably meaning Peter could not understand something and Remus, being the saint he is, spent three hours explaining it. Lily and Vi had been through, saying they were too exhausted to talk (maybe since the second he saw Lily James started talking about his Quidditch skills).

Only the three of us, Sirius, James, and me, remained in the room, being about eleven at night. James was tearing bits of papers up with what I could swear the initials 'L.E.' was written on them. Sirius was, yet again, flipping through the motorcycle magazine on my stomach, while I was lying across his lap, with my head and legs over the arms of the chair, reading a muggle book.

Everything was completely quiet, except for the sound of crackling fire, until James randomly asked, "So tomorrow then?"

I looked at him and noticed he was staring between Sirius and me. I looked back at Sirius who shrugged and we both turned our attention back to James. James shook his laugh and chuckled.

"Damn, you two really are perfect for each other. You both are just as thick as each other," James said with an amused smile at our confused and slightly irritated faces. "Alright, alright, what I meant was, are you guys… "Coming out" tomorrow?" James elaborated with air quotes and I finally understood what he meant.

I shrugged and looked at Sirius who was nodding, catching me slightly by surprise, but made me happy.

"Are you okay with that Love?" Sirius asked me and I smiled and nodded, not understanding how four years ago, I could have broken his nose for calling what I now adore hearing come from his lips.

I answered with two words.

"Sure, Love."

I gripped onto Sirius's hand as he opened the Great Hall doors. We walked inside, hand-in-hand and… no one noticed. I let out a sigh of relief and walked forward, towards the Gryffindor table, Sirius walking with me. I thought the worst was over as we made our way to our friends, but I was completely wrong. Before we had even made it to the red and gold table, people started noticing us, and were staring. Soon, the whole hall was whispering and staring at us as we walked. I heard some guys grunt, some girls gasp, some people clapped, and all of Sirius's fan girls were staring daggers at me, but one facial expression stood out the most.

Cathy was looking straight at me. She did not look sad. She was not glaring at me. Instead, she was doing much worse. She was smirking at me. What her smirk implied, I have no idea, but it sent chills down my spine and made my stomach lunge uncomfortably.

As we sat down I forced myself to tear away from the evil face and turn to my friends, who had all been looking for my reaction. I gave a slight amused look and shrugged.

"I would have guessed for someone to throw a knife at me or something," I said as I put some eggs on my plate. They all laughed and went into some conversation about school or Quidditch, while I ate and mostly thought about the smug look on Cathy's face, only adding a "yeah" or "totally" when needed.

I looked over to the side of the table and looked at Cathy. She turned around to face me and gave me a wave, mouthing about how cute Sirius and me were. She winked and looked back to someone she was sitting with, but I could have sworn she gave me another smirk. I turned back to my friends and food, feeling uneasy again.

_What the hell?_


	18. Rumors

Chapter 19

I was sitting in the library, doing homework with Lily when I lost my concentration, for about the fifth time since we came in. It wasn't my fault though; I had already tried to read the chapter about transforming a book into a cat three times. No, it was the group of fourth year girls at the next table whispering about me.

_"Wait, so that's her?"_

_"How can, someone as hot as, Sirius, go out with her?"_

_"She's not half as pretty as me."_

_"This is so unfair!"_

I gripped my quill out of anger. The past month has been basically that. Everywhere I go there is a group of Sirius' fan girls talking badly about me because I'm dating Sirius and I was getting sick of it. The first week, I expected it, the second I just wished it would die down already, the third I was getting annoyed, and now I was just plain pissed about it. So far, I have forced myself to keep my calm; with the help of Remus and Lily of course, but I'm afraid even they are getting off edge with all this.

_"Oh my gosh, has she ever even worn a skirt?"_

_"She must be easy if he would go out with her."_

_"I know right! What a little whor-"_

"Now stop right there," I heard Lily's forced calm voice say and I looked up in slight horror. There, Lily was, now standing up to the girls' table, hands on her hips. She was glaring down at them and the girls all had small looks of nervousness on their faces. I admit, Lily might not be the most intimidating person, but if you got her angry or overly annoyed, she can be down right frightening.

"I'm serious. I'm sick of hearing the bull you're talking about my friend. She's not anything like what you say and you're just jealous. You all are spreading rumors about her and talking about her just because she's dating your crush, is that _fair_?" Lily started, gradually getting louder by each word. She was beginning to make me nervous. "No! It's bloody well not fair! She's a great person and if I ever hear you talking about her like that again, I will make sure you get reported to Dumbledore! JUST LEAVE HER ALONE AND _SHUT UP_!"

With the last yell, Lily calmly sat back down. The girls and I watched her in awe, well, before Madam Pince, who was not at all happy with Lily's speech, started yelling at us and we quickly got our stuff and ran out.

When we were far enough from the library without having Filch able to scurry along and yell at us Lily and me slowed down our pace. Both of us were resting down on our knees and panting and I was gaping at Lily.

"Lily –_pant_- that was the –_pant_- nicest thing –_pant_- anyone's ever done –_pant_- for me," I said, finally recovering my breath.

When Lily fully stopped panting she shrugged and said, "I was sick of hearing people talk about my best friend like that. I mean, what the heck? They don't know you and those pricks don't deserve to talk about you like that." I smiled as we started walking back to the Common Room. I kept thinking about how Lily called me her best friend and the more I thought about it the more I understood it. She would do anything for me and I would do anything for her, no matter what.

It was weird for me, to have a girl best friend, even two if you counted Vi. I had always only been a best friend to guys. James, Remus, Fabian, Gideon, Peter, and Sirius were always the people I called my best friends and they had always called me one of theirs. I had never had a real girl friend, and now I had two. Right before we walked up to the portrait I stopped Lily and she looked at me.

"Lily… thanks for being there. I'm happy to have you as a friend," I said, and she blinked at me, and then engulfed me into a hug.

"Aw! Izzy, that is the sweetest thing you have ever said to me!" Lily gushed and then pulled away, smirking. "Maybe, we've turned you soft." I scoffed and went into the Common Room, instantly seeing my best friends sitting near the fire. I dragged Lily over to the boys and forced her into a seat in between James and Remus. I saw down in Sirius's lap in our favorite armchair and he slid his hand around my waist.

James was now, attempting, and ultimately failing to sneak his arm around Lily, who was grudgingly pushing it off, but he kept on doing. Vi and Fabian were sitting in an arm chair, hiding behind a book and giggling, Peter was doing some homework, Gideon was across the room, chatting up some fourth years, and Remus was engulfed in a book about Godric Gryffindor.

It's apparently bad for me to show my face in public anymore.

I walked down the corridors on my way to anywhere. Anywhere at all where I wouldn't be able to hear the anoying girls that go to Hogwarts. As I walked down the corridor of the fifth floor I gripped my book bag tightly.

_"Wait, so that's her?"_

_"How can, someone as hot as, Sirius, go out with her?"_

_"She's not half as pretty as me."_

_"This is so unfair!"_

I quickened my pace and practically ran up the moving staircase, almost falling down in the process. Everywhere I went I heard the dozens of envois, rumor making voices.

_"Oh my gosh, has she ever even worn a skirt?"_

_"She must be easy if he would go out with her."_

_"I know right! What a little whore."_

_"Not only that, but an ugly little tart."_

I clenched my fist, knowing full well they knew I could hear. All my friends often told me everything they said about me were lies, but it still hurt. As tough as I was, the lies being said about me hurt much more than I would like to admit they do and it scared me. I had a feeling Cathy was all behind it. Every time she knew I could hear a rumor about me she would give me a fake, sympathetic smile I could see right through.

_"I heard Sirius is already cheating on her."_

_"Well duh, who wouldn't if they had a girlfriend like that?"_

_"Even Amos Diggory faked some injury to get out of dating her."_

_"I bet Sirius just keeps her around because he feels sorry for her."_

I was sick of it. As I practically ran down the seventh floor and then saw more girls I turned around and walked back. _I just need somewhere to be alone. Somewhere these jerks can't find me!_ I heard a weird sound and looked up. About in the middle of the corridor there was a door and I slipped in. I breathed a sigh of relief as I looked around the Room of Requirement.

"Thank you," I whispered, searching for the books, and deciding to study for our upcoming OWL's. I sighed and sat down in near the fire.

I was leaning against the couch and falling asleep when I heard the door appear and someone walk in. I almost screamed and looked back at whoever it was and couldn't suppress a grin. The boy sat down next to me.

"Why're you in here?" Sirius asked, as I got myself comfortable and leaned on his chest.

I sighed, deciding not to tell him exactly. "Just… Wanted to be alone," I finally answered and he silently asked if he should leave. "But being with you's much better," I saved and he grinned, kissing my head. We talked quietly, until at some point we both easily fell asleep.


	19. The Freak and the Mudblood

Chapter 20

"Okay, what are the ingredients to polyjuice potion?" Remus asked, and I bit my lip, thinking nervously.

"Uhm, let's see… Leeches, powdered bicorn horn, knot grass… Flexweed, boomslang skin, some bit from the person you're changing into, lacewing flies, and… Uhm…"

I was interrupted by my brother's voice in my head.

_Course, she forgot the easiest thing: cherries._

I groaned. "Remus! I heard that. _Again_." Every time either Remus or I hesitated, we heard the other's voice inside our head saying the answer before we were ready. It was making it difficult to study for our upcoming OWL's.

"Yeah, you're right... Maybe we shouldn't study together after all," Remus sighed, and then laughed lightly.

I rolled my eyes. "Honestly… We're pathetic," I said, not being able to suppress my grin. We both chuckled and began reading through our notes, giving up on studying together.

The last few months had been pretty hectic. The gossip and whispering about me had finally stopped, but the long dreaded OWL exams were coming up in just a week. Ever fifth year was freaking out. Well… Every fifth year except James and Sirius, who, as usual, were completely calm about the whole subject. I was having trouble-finding people to study with. Lily and I ended up bringing the worst out of our competitive past, making Vi always have to stop before we ripped the other's head off. Fabian and Gideon weren't much help either. With Peter I just didn't have enough patience. Severus still followed Lily around. And Xeno kept getting distracted by nargles every time we tried to study together…

I was in the middle of reading something about Merlin the Great when a strong hand set itself on my waist. I smiled and turned to kiss Sirius, completely forgetting about Remus sitting right there until he coughed. We pulled away sheepishly.

"Studying?" Sirius asked, when he obviously knew. Remus and I just nodded; going back to our notes while Sirius leaned back on the couch, playing with my hair behind me.

Soon, Sirius got bored and went off to the Quidditch pitch with James and I sighed. I had no idea how either of them was going to pass if they refused to even look at a book. I decided it would be their problems and I just went back to work.

"Really, a question on the symptoms of werewolves? That's _so _difficult," I said as me and the rest of the Marauders walked out of our Defense Against the Dark Arts OWL. We all laughed and I zoned out as Remus said a joke, but chuckled along anyway. I was so glad about our exams finally being over. Sirius had his arm around me while we all headed down to the lake, grinning.

I saw Lily and Vi with some other girls at the lake, and decided I should talk to them for a bit and see what they thought about the exam. When Sirius finally let me go (after a few kisses I had to give) I jogged over to the girls.

"Hey Izzy, what'd you think of the exam?" Vi asked, smiling as I sat down in front of them. I shrugged, trying not to start laughing.

"It was pretty easy actually… I really need to get into the class next year," I said, remembering that to get a job in research at Mungo's I needed to continue Potions, Charms, Transfiguration, and Defense Against the Dark Arts. Vi rolled her eyes, and Lily gave me a smile.

"I'm sure you did amazingly Izzy," Lily said, and I shrugged. Lily's eyes grew wide and she yelled, "Oh I can't believe them!" while standing up. By the time I realized she was looking behind me, Lily was already stomping away. I turned and saw a black figure being lifted upside by the ankle. I gave in a sharp breath. Only James' favorite hex could do that. Vi and I ran over behind Lily as she yelled at the guys. I saw Sirius laughing, but he stopped as soon as he saw my face. Remus wouldn't look at me, hiding his face in his book.

"Put him down James!" Lily and I screamed and he smirked slightly, dropping Severus.

"Oh so you need Evans and Izzy to save you now don't you Snivellus?" James said, smirking widely as Severus stood up.

"No! I don't need that Mudblood or freak saving me!" Severus yelled, and both Lily and I stood there; shocked at what he had just called us. James glared and started saying something, but Vi pushed Lily and me away before something else happened.

Vi got us both to the Gryffindor common room, now fuming and yelling at different times.

"I can't believe they did that!"

"I can't believe he said that!"

"I just- Urg! How _dare_ they all?"

It went on like that until James, Sirius, Peter, and Remus all came in. James still looked proud, even though Lily and me were both furious. Even Sirius looked pretty proud with himself, which sickened me. I glared at all of them; James and Sirius for doing it in the first place, and Remus and Peter for being too much of cowards to stop it.

"I cannot believe you did that," I finally said, not sure who to look at.

Sirius scoffed, "Did you hear what that git called you two? Yet you're still _defending_ him? How thick can you be?" He looked like he had a sour taste in his mouth. Everyone was looking between us except Lily, who was glaring at James.

"So now I'm thick? You know what? Yeah, I am thick. I was stupid enough to actually agree to date you. We're over Sirius. You're a bloody ass. Don't bother speaking to me anymore," I said, keeping a calm face as I waked off to my dorm. But inside I was breaking. I sat down on my bed, and pulled the curtains around me. I felt like crying, but I'd wasted too many tears on Sirius Black. I was done with him. I fell back on my bed and stared at the ceiling designs for what felt like hours.

"I can't believe I actually was going to go out with him. He's such a bloody prick," I heard Lily's voice say from a few feet away from me. I continued to stare at the ceiling.

"I know… But it was just for some fun, right? I think James and Sirius deserve another chance, don't you think?" I heard Vi say and I couldn't help but scoff as I undid my curtains, sitting up.

"Second chance? They've had thousands of chances. They're both arseholes," I said bitterly, and Lily nodded in agreement. Vi said nothing and started to get ready for bed, locking eyes with me for a moment. I sighed," I'm going to go get some air…" Neither said anything so I just went down. I stopped at one of the bottom steps when I heard someone sigh.

Sirius' curly head was resting on the arm of a couch. He was playing with a beater's bat, and for a second I thought he was going to beat his own head. I was about to walk down to him until I heard someone's voice say, "Oh Sirius, ignore her. She's just a stick in the mud! I honestly thought it was hilarious… Don't let _Lupin_ bring you down. She wasn't right for you anyway."

I clenched my fists and Sirius just grunted in reply_. Of course_ he would be talking to Cathy right after our break up. I climbed up the stairs and closed the door firmly. I knew I was really done with Sirius Orion Black.


	20. The Train Ride Home

Chapter 21

Sirius

"Sirius, maybe you just… Try to apologize to her?"

I sighed and shook my head. "Tried. She wouldn't even hear me out, Prongs," I replied, but glanced down a little guiltily. _What if she heard me talking to Cathy that night and thought I'd just moved on to the next girl?_ I roughly shook my head and looked back up to him. "What about Lily?"

James just rolled his eyes a bit. "She's still _so_ upset about poor ol' Snivellus. I'm honestly just giving up on Evans, I think. She's never even bloody given me the time of day," he went on, but I could see the glint of sadness in his eyes.

"James, you really don't think-" I gave Peter an angry look to leave it, "never mind," he finished and Peter shrunk into his seat while I turned to the window of the compartment. Peter mumbled something about some food and walked out, ending the conversation.

The last month hadn't been my favorite. Actually, thinking about it, it probably stood a good chance at being my worst. I'll admit, I'm not exactly a very emotional kind of guy most of the time, but I'd honestly tried with Izzy. The first week after our fight I tried countless times to try to talk to her, but every time she'd completely ignore me. She's been spending all her time with Evans and Vi, the Prewett twins, and that weird kid in Ravenclaw with the long hair. Sometimes, I see her with Remus, but that's mostly during prefect patrols because I think she's trying to stay as far away from me, James, and Peter as possible. She's completely trying to take herself out from the Marauders.

_Why did I have to be so stupid? But I've got to admit, I loved seeing Snape's face while he was hanging upside down… But Izzy's face made it suck. _

The worst part was that we were on our way home for summer, meaning I was off to my own home. Hopefully, though, I'll stay with James after he comes back from his trip to America. And Remus should be visiting us later in August, but I highly doubt Iz will decide to come with him. Usually, after going through a break-up I'd just go snog some random "fangirl" of mine and be done with it, but this time it'd been different. She was my best friend, and it bloody sucks to lose a best friend.

I found myself glaring and mumbling to myself when Moony came in from his prefect duties. I wanted to ask about Izzy, but he'd been pretty serious that he was refusing to get into it after she'd forgiven him.

"Snape's gone and messed with another first year. You'd think he'd be done with that by now, wouldn't you?" Remus said, obviously exasperated.

I clenched my fists. "I ought to show that Death Eater-" I started, but Remus sent me a look and I tried to calm myself. There was a silence in the room until I decided to change the subject. "What're your plans for this summer, Moony?"

Remus shrugged. "Staying at home mostly, I'll be relieved when I come visit in August though. My parents are going bloody insane; I think they can't wait to get rid of Iz and me. Must be too scared of us to want to keep up with it anymore," Remus finished, shrugging a little at the end. I glanced at Prongs and noticed him looking the same way I did, with a little pity and sadness for our friend. "But enough of that, excited for America Prongs?" Remus finished, obviously feeling uncomfortable with letting out that last bit of information.

James nodded, grinning a little, " I heard the girls there are babes, and swoon over English accents. It'll be a nice change from the stuck-up English girls here," he said, obviously enjoying his daydream, probably about an American snog. Both Remus and I knew he meant Lily, but said nothing of it.

I thought about saying something positive about my summer, but knew there wouldn't be anything positive about it. I was going home, to my pureblood mania family. Not to mention my Death Eater cousins, all of who are definitely going to be recruiting Regulus this year. I stretched out across the seat hastily to forget about the summer that was soon approaching and tried desperately to sleep.

Izzy

I stormed into my compartment compiling of Lily and Alice Brewer, the Head Girl of Gryffindor who graduated this year. "I can't do it anymore! I won't! I'm quitting next year, it's just too annoying!" I stormed in and paced about the compartment as much as I could, muttering to myself.

Lily and Alice just watched me until Alice softly asked, "What is it, Izzy?" She's always been one of the friendliest people I've ever met.

"Being a prefect. I'm sorry Alice, but _I hate it_. I hate showing first years around, I hate prefect patrols, and I hate it all!" I yelled, continuing my pacing angrily.

"Izzy… What brought this sudden hatred on?" Lily asked hesitantly.

"Sev- _Snape! _And his bloody friends! They were bullying a first year! _A first year! _And I had to stop them with Remus! It was terrible! So, I'm quitting," I simply finished, finally sitting down. Alice looked horrified and Lily looked angry.

"I really must talk to Frank about this! See you both later," Alice said and we nodded, both slumping in our seats.

"Those bloody swine! How dare they? Especially him after- after what happened!" Lily ranted and I nodded, agreeing. After exams Snape had just become worse with his little Slytherin clan. They had started harassing students, more in particular, muggle-borns. And since I had begun distancing myself from the boys, I had more time to read. Voldemort and his death-eaters were rising to power and the chance of war was increasing every day.

I bit my lip, trying to stay away from the thoughts creeping into my mind and looked out the window. It was storming lightly, nothing the train couldn't handle, but still, there was a slight eeriness to it…

In that moment, Vi chose to come in and sit down. "Fabian and Gideon are working on some prank to pull on Arthur when they get back," she announced while shrugging. Lily nodded, smiling, and began talking to Vi while I just watched. Ever since Sirius' and mine's fight, things have been a bit rocky between us. She tried to get me to hear him out, saying he did nothing wrong, but I wouldn't hear it.

_"He was bullying a student!" I yelled, trying to hold my temper back to no avail._

_"Yeah, because Snape and his friends were being rude!" Vi countered. _

_"But he wasn't throwing any spells! But then James had to have a go at him!" I glared at her. "Which Sirius just had to back up, didn't he?" _

I snapped back to the present when I heard, "Izzy?" Vi smiled gently at me, almost hesitantly.

"Uh, yeah, what were we talking about?" I forced a small smile, trying to feel comfortable speaking.

"Meeting up for summer vacation. I can't hang out with _Petunia_ all summer," Lily said, frowning at the mention of her sister's name. "I can't believe she's dating that prat Vernon Dursley, or should I say Vermin. He's completely vile," she finished, unable to contain the look of disgust on her face. I scrunched up my nose and Vi spoke up.

"Well I'll be spending the rest of the month with my _lovely_ pureblood family. And then I'm off to Molly's, thank Merlin she's letting me stay there."

I couldn't contain my smirk. "Don't get pregnant on us, Vi, always use protection," I warned slyly and she turned pink, but I could tell she was happy we were getting back on good terms. "What?" She'll be spending a whole month in a house with Fabian!" I tried to defend myself from the glare Lily was giving me, but she was suppressing a grin.

The three of us spent the whole train ride chatting, eating, and laughing and I finally forgot about the boys and I was glad to be reminded that I haven't lost all my friends.


	21. No Home Left

Chapter 22

Sirius

I sat at my desk, staring at a piece of parchment. I picked up my muggle pen and rolled it around in my hand, looking at the pictures on my wall. First, there was a picture of James and I, laughing about some stupid joke one of us probably said. Then, there was a picture of the five Marauders, not that Izzy would call herself one anymore. My eyes wandered over to a picture of just the two of us, grinning as we played around in the snow. She kissed me on the cheek, and as I was processing she pelted me with a snowball in the face. I smiled to myself; not half as happy I was in the picture.

I glanced at the envelope on my desk, a letter with my OWL results. Although, I didn't care as much as I probably should have I did look at my results once I'd gotten them. I got Outstanding's in Defense Against the Dark Arts and transfiguration, Acceptable's in Potions, Care of Magical Creatures, Charms, Herbology, and Muggle Studies, but that one was just to bother my parents. And then I got Poor's in everything else. Overall, I was pretty satisfied.

Shrugging, I looked back to the parchment, deciding to finally write to her. Neither of us had spoken to each other for weeks, and it was eating away at me. I put my pen to the paper and tried to neatly write "Izzy". Once I finished writing the name I heard my door being blown up.

"_Sirius Orion Blac_k!" my very lovely father, Orion Black, spat at me as I jumped around in my seat. "You worthless bloody blood-traitor!" he continued, but I kept a straight face.

"Yes, father dearest of mine? What ever have I done this time?" I asked sarcastically.

"Don't you dare use lip to me, boy! Your brother told me about your little slut! A _half-breed_ too!" he yelled.

I glared up at him. "She's not a slut and what does it matter if she's a half-_blood_ who doesn't care about blood status? Most of the world doesn't anymore! Except for you little Death-" I was cut off by the mighty slap given to me by my father, making me fall to the ground heavily. I sucked in my groan and bit my tongue.

"What were you saying, Son? Blood status doesn't count?" he picked me up by the collar roughly and pushed me against the wall, whispering in my face. "Well let me tell you. The Dark Lord is rising, and little traitors like you are going to wish you turned when you had the chance. What's your final answer now? The Mudbloods and muggle lovers, or us, your pure family?" He was quiet, but the venom in his voice was apparent.

I pretended to think, and answered in the exact way he asked, "You're not my family, and never were nor will be. So I pick the other side. The _right_ side."

His anger boiled and he slapped me again. "Then get out of my bloody house! You traitor! You defile this household and I hope to never see your face again, you swine!" he yelled in my face as I punched him to get him to let go of me.

"Good then! I hope the same to you!" I threw the few things I had take out of my trunk and grabbed it, along with my broom. I stomped down the stairs where my mother watched in slight horror and Regulus smirked. I gave him a face of pity and ran out before my father could reach the bottom of the stairs, flying away as quickly as possible. The rain started to pour much harder down and it was only then when I noticed it was storming. I cursed under my breath and remembered the Potters were still in America. There were only two places I could go. Peter or Remus' house. I thought of Izzy and how she probably wouldn't want to see me… But I didn't trust Peter like I trusted the former two so I went to the Lupin's, trying to see through the rain as much as possible.

From then on, I knew I didn't have a real home. Neither was I of age, nor did I have any money. I was just another lost traitor to the world.

Izzy

I sat in our living room, flipping through channels on our muggle television. My mom had insisted on buying it to, at least, keep something in our house non-magical. I ended up reaching some film about three witches and left it on, enjoying how muggles portray us. I chuckled to myself when I heard a distant beating, as if someone was banging on a window. I twitched slightly, feeling my heart start to race. My parents were out for the Merlin knows how long, and Remus was out with some muggle girl; leaving me completely alone.

_Chill out Izzy. It's probably just a bird._ I sighed and forced myself to slouch back into the couch, but making sure my wand was in my pocket. I got wrapped up into the film until I heard the beating begin again, but this time with mumbled yelling. I grabbed my wand swiftly and stood up, creeping up the stairs as softly as possible. I tiptoed towards the noise, which was coming from Remus' room. I glanced behind the door, and saw some dark figure hovering in front of the window, but it was impossible to tell who it was. I pulled my wand up, stepping into the room. "Sh-show yourself," I said, trying to keep a steady voice.

"Izzy?" asked the figure, trying to look into the dark room. My heart sped up faster than it was already beating and opened the window. "It's me, Sirius!" I heard him confirm, but I'd be able to recognize his voice anywhere.

"Sirius, what are you doing here?" I questioned, trying to keep a cool exterior as he got off his broom and stepped into the room. I noticed he had his Hogwarts trunk with him and dripping wet due to the storm outside. I shut the window once he was inside, a bit more roughly than necessary and then I crossed my arms over my chest protectively. "Well, _Black_?" I snapped, getting impatient with my recent ex-boyfriend.

He sighed and I could see a bit of hurt in his eyes, but ignored it. _Don't feel bad for him. He's a prick._ I gave him another look of impatience and he answered, "Dad kicked me out. Pron-_James_ is in America, I had no other place to go." I couldn't contain the sympathy that spread across my face, but he avoided looking at me. Instead, he just uncomfortably stood in front of me; his clothes were dripping rainwater onto the floor.

I bit my lip; all I wanted to do was embrace him, but I refrained myself and nodded slightly. "There's a guest bedroom. My parents are out for a while and Remus should be back later tonight; he's on a date," I informed him and he nodded obediently. I glanced at him and noticed he was shivering slightly. "The guest room is right next to my room across the hall. I'll go get a towel for you so then you can shower." Sirius nodded and I quickly walked out before he could say anything. I got a towel from the linen closet and found myself biting my lip a little too hard. _He could have gone to Peter's. He looked so upset though… _

I shook my head and hesitantly went into the guest room, passing him a towel. "Shower and I'll make you something to eat. Don't forget put on something warm so you don't get sick," I found myself instructing before I had a chance to stop myself. I saw a glimpse of a smile on Sirius' face and quickly walked out, back downstairs.

I started making a grilled cheese, but I couldn't help thinking about Sirius getting kicked out of his house. I mean, I always knew he didn't get along well with them, I'd even met Regulus a few times (not positive encounters), but to actually get _kicked out?_ I sighed, I didn't want to, but I felt bad. I mean, I knew my parents were just about ready to kick Remus and me out, but they were going to wait until we finished school. But Sirius is still too young to live on his own… They could have at least waited another year for him to turn seventeen…

I finished the grill cheese, put it on the table, and began to cut an apple when he came down. I couldn't help but notice how attractive he looked, even in a simple muggle shirt and sweatpants. I finished the apple and put it on the table, gesturing him to sit down.

He sat down and mumbled a "thanks" while picking up the sandwich. I could tell he was trying to not eat too quickly, but didn't manage to succeed. I poured a glass of milk and put it next to him.

"If you need anything just ask, or do it yourself… I'll be in the living room," I said curtly, walking out into the living room and plopping down on the couch. I tried to fix my mind on the film, but I just couldn't stop thinking about Sirius in the other room. I'd missed him this past month, much more than I'd like to admit. I missed everything; I missed his touch, his smell, his smirk, but all that was long gone. I told myself I wasn't going to go down that road. He hurt me too much and too many times, and I wasn't going to let that slip by so fast.

I felt someone slowly sit down next to me. "So… This is what witches look like to muggles?" Sirius asked, obviously trying to fill the silence in the air. I simply nodded, mumbling a "yes" and we just sat there, waiting for Remus to come home.

About an hour passed by in complete silence other than the television and we finally heard a key opening the door and heard Remus started talking. "She was a bit of a slag too be honest, so I'm not going to see her very soon," I could hear him putting his coat away into the closet. "Oh and mum and dad said they won't be coming home for another few weeks…" Remus stopped once he saw who was sitting with me. "Padfoot? Why are you here?" he asked, looking a bit surprised and agitated, probably because he found Sirius and me together, alone, at night.

Before Sirius could answer I stepped in, "He got kicked out and James is out of town. He had nowhere else to go." Remus frowned and nodded.

"Well Pads… I'm glad you're okay. And as you probably heard my parents have decided to leave us on our own for the week…" Remus started, but he looked at me questioningly.

_Can he stay here? I know you guys aren't on… The best terms… _

_Until James comes back… Yes. He has nowhere to go I suppose. _

_Thanks, Iz. _

"You're welcome here, until James comes back," Remus finished, smiling encouragingly at Sirius. Sirius smiled slightly back and thanked us, not looking at me.

I excused myself and went up to my room to read a book. I glanced at my bookshelf and my eyes went to my album of Leo and myself, thankful to have some way of escape from my life. I opened it and plopped down onto my bed, looking through it. I could already tell that this would be a horribly long week.

I gave a small smile as I looked out the window. It was raining, like it normally did, it being England, and because of the increasing amount of storms there'd been. Remus left for James' house a few days ago and Sirius left a week ago. It'd been awkward here with Sirius so I tried to speak to him as little as possible. I tried to have as little contact with Sirius as I possibly could with him living in our house. He usually went out somewhere with Remus, and Remus always invited me, but I'd politely decline. Luckily, our parents never found out that Sirius stayed here because they don't exactly approve of most of our friends. Except maybe Lily, but that'd because she's basically perfect.

Speaking of Lily, I'm off to her house soon. I asked my parents a little after Remus left and although they tried to hide it, I could tell they were relieved to get rid of the both of us. It hurts a little, to know they would rather Remus and me both leave the house, but I try to ignore it. I looked at my half-packed trunk and wished I really had somewhere to go. I sighed to myself and my dad opened my door, surprising me; he never came in to talk to me without my mother present nowadays.

"Isabelle, darling… May I speak to you?" he asked, but I could tell he was hesitant about stepping in.

"If you feel it necessary, yes," I shortly answered, not really in the mood for a father-daughter moment. He forced a small smile and sat down on the end of my bed, careful not to be too close to me.

"Saw your OWL results. O's in Potions, Charms, Transfiguration, and Ancient Runes. E's in Defense Against the Dark Arts, Herbology, Arithmancy and History of Magic… That's really amazing, Love. That's much better than how I did when I was in school." I nodded, but gave no reply so he continued: "I feel like I haven't seen you since you left for Hogwarts last summer … You've grown quite some bit." He gave me a sad smile but, refusing to return the favor, I simply nodded. He continued, "Isabelle, your mother and I are sorry… For the way we've been treating you and Remus…" I looked at him, slightly questioningly. _Where is he going with this? _ "… I just want you to know that we do love you. We just don't know… Don't know how much power you both could have. You know… With your conditions." He looked at me with a pained expression and I kept a blank face at him.

"So are you kicking us out now?" I asked spitefully, thinking about how quickly Sirius' father left him on the streets. _Dad is not like Mr. Black. He doesn't judge others… Except for us being werewolves, that is… _

He shook his head quickly. "No, of course not. We love you, both of you. You can stay as long as- as long as you need," he answered, but I could tell he wasn't so sure of the promise. I bit my tongue and nodded, knowing full well Remus and me would move right after seventh year ends. Watching me for a few moments, he looked like he wanted to say something else, something that was eating away t me. Instead he kept quiet and kissed my head as lightly as possible, as if scared I would attack at any moment. "I love you. Have fun at Lily's and be smart," he finished and walked out without another word.

Instead of feeling calm and content, I just felt like there was emptiness in my gut. In the last two months I'd officially lost two best friends, one boyfriend, two friends, and two parents. What else could I lose? I'm sure nothing…

And with that, I floo-powered over to the Evans, knowing that I wouldn't have a real home for quite a while.


	22. All her Fault

Chapter 23

"Oh Merlin, I just adore this park, Lily! I don't know how you don't just spend all of your time here!" I laughed, playing on a small swing in Lily's neighborhood. She grinned at me, swinging along next to me.

"Probably 'cause of the fact that I met Snape here, but you _are_ right, it's a lovely little place," she closed her eyes for a moment as she swung. It was then that I really noticed why James loved her so much. I mean, I always knew she was pretty and whatever, but I'd never taken any time to actually appreciate how good of a person or friend Lily is.

I'd been at Lily's house for a few days and it'd been the best part of my summer so far. Yes, Petunia and her Vernon the Vermin were horrible, but Lily's parents were so open and nice about having another witch in the house. I loved how much they accepted and loved Lily despite her magic, much unlike her sister who openly hated both of us. And apparently, while we were at school Vernon had proposed and their wedding was scheduled to be in late August, one month away. Petunia had made it very clear that I was not welcome to come, but honestly, I doubt Lily would be very welcome if her mother wasn't involved.

"Izzy, why haven't you told me anything about what happened when Sirius was living at your house?" Lily had stopped swinging, and her question had completely caught me off guard. She gave me her signature look. "Your ex-boyfriend, whom you have a very messy past with, randomly shows up at your door and then _lives _with you for a week. Did you really think that that's all you could tell me and I'd never mention it again?" she questioned. I gaped at her and stopped swinging.

"Well-well… Yeah, I was hoping that could be the case…" I answered sheepishly. When I got to Lily's, I told her a very short summary of what had happened, leaving out mostly everything, but then her mother had come in. I hoped that that was the end of the story, but apparently not.

"Well, it's not. I'm sorry, but you have to tell me what happened. And why he even had to stay with you?" She looked at me, this time more genteelly, knowing she was approaching sensitive territory.

I sighed, giving up this time. "One night I'm watching a film on the television, and I hear this banging or thumping or whatever. Of course, I'm home alone and it's thunder storming and I'm about to piss myself so I ignore it. _Then_, I hear yelling. So finally, I go up to check it out, with wand at the ready of course, and there's someone at Remus' window. When I realized it was Sirius, I had to open the window and let him in and he had his trunk and his broom and he was dripping wet and oh I just felt so bad for him," I babbled, suddenly remembering all the emotions I had gotten when I saw him. "So he told me his dad kicked him out and he needed somewhere to stay until the Potter's came home. So I obviously couldn't kick him out." I stopped and let out a long breath as I watched Lily process, seeing her sympathy for Sirius peeking through.

When she didn't say anything, I continued, "So I made him shower, gave him some food, and we sat in silence till Remus came home. We agreed to let him stay since out parents weren't coming home for another week and that was that," I stopped, hoping she'd let me finish with that.

Lily finished processing. "Oh, come on. You're going to leave it at that? You stayed in a house _alone_ for a week with your ex-boyfriend and _nothing _happened?" She looked at me in disbelief.

I sighed, "Remus was there! He barely left us alone. But the week was… Terribly awkward. Most of the time, Remus and him went out and I stayed in, so we kept contact to a minimum. We'd occasionally run into each other on our way to the loo or something, but we both tried to avoid each other. I made them meals, he thanked me, and those were most of our conversations." I nodded, finishing, but I couldn't help but bit my lip and look away at a flower. It was a small daisy blowing in the breeze.

Lily looked at me skeptically, "there's something else you're not telling me… What is it?" I tried to keep my gaze away, but she broke me, again. I sighed again.

"We… Kissed. Once. It was a terrible mistake," I finally admitted and Lily looked at me in shock. She willed me to go on. "Well, I was on my way to the loo and he'd just gotten out of the shower… And well, I mean, you've seen him, all he had was a pair of sweatpants on and we knocked into each other and well… Ugh, we were kissing before I even realized. Before either of us did, I think. But then once we pulled away… We agreed it was a mistake and I ran into the bathroom. We didn't talk after that. At all," I finished, this time actually done. It felt good to get the kiss off my chest.

Lily just stared at me, soaking this new information in. I was afraid she'd feel betrayed or something, being that she wasn't speaking to James. Finally, she stood up from the swing. "Well, adolescent hormones really do control us," she said simply, pulling me up and dragging me along back to her house.

I woke up with a start and heavy panting, the nightmare I was having had been cut off by the loud storm being projected by my open window. I stood up to close the window and the visions came back. It was the forest where I had seen Voldemort and Leo, the nightmare was normal, where the memory just repeated itself. But this time was different.

At first, it was like it had always been, but then I blinked and Leo became Sirius. I saw Sirius making banter with Voldemort, then clasping arms, and then, finally, the killing curse hitting him right in the chest.

I felt my face. It was wet with tears and I shook my head violently. Lately, most of my dreams had begun to revolve around Sirius. Whether they be horror, or romantic, or just simple memories, he was there. My longing for him was just growing and I just missed him holding me, as cheesy as it sounds. He made me feel safe, and with the war coming, that's all I really wanted: to feel safe. But he wasn't mine anymore; I had promised myself he would never be again.

But he wasn't always there. There was one memory that I doubted he'd ever appear in. I held the covers to my face, the conversation earlier from the evening was repeating itself in my head, and the guilt was pouring into me again. The tears in my eyes swelled up.

"_Izzy, darling, there's something your mother and I should probably tell you," my dad said, sitting me down on the couch. I cocked my head at my parents; whatever they wanted to tell me was not happy news. The three of us just waited: me, for them to speak, and them, apparently for Remus to come down._

"_Ah, Remus, sit down next to your sister please," my mother gestured to the seat on the couch next to me, and he hesitated. We had both kind of drifted since Sirius came. Neither of us had spoken much to each other about our separate summer trips and visits. But finally, I made some more room for him, and Remus sat down next to me, but not very close to me. _

_Our parents exchanged glances before my father spoke again, "before we begin, I want you both to know that no matter what, we both love you dearly." Remus and I both nodded hesitantly. Our parents rarely told us they loved us, we just sort of assumed. _It must be bad if he has to assure us he loves us beforehand… _"Well, you both know that when your were five years old, Izzy was… Was attacked," he continued and we both nodded again. "Well, we found out your attacker… His name is Fenrir Greyback, and the ministry has been trying to find him for years now, to-to no luck so far." I nodded slowly, but said nothing. Remus scooted closer so our sides were gently pressed against each other and he took my hand and squeezed it for support like old times._

"_That's not all… Remus, we've learned who your attacker was also…" my mother said, looking increasingly paler. Remus nodded, looking like he was bracing himself. My mother gulped. "It was…" She looked at me for a moment, not being able to say it, but Remus and I let go of each other's hands, not looking at each other. Our mother looked down like she was about to cry._

"_It was a month after Izzy got bitten, and Remus you snuck out to look for her… You didn't understand and… Well, that happened," my father continued. I blinked hard, not being able to look at Remus. It was my fault he suffered every month. A careless mistake I once did ruined both his life and mine, not to mention my parents'. The guilt overcame me, and I got up and ran to my room, ignoring the calls from my family._

We finally learned why our parents had been acting so strange, so terrified with us around in the past months. They'd been holding onto that discovery ever since when we'd been taking exams. They'd held the news in for quite a while, and now, it'd completely ruined me. I didn't know if I'd ever get over the feeling of guilt, or if I'd ever be able to look Remus in the eye again. It was my fault. Everything, it turned out, was always my fault.


	23. Never look again

Chapter 24

_I am a monster: a vicious, dirty, terrible monster. It's finally time I realize that I am a horrifying mutt, who doesn't deserve what I've gotten in the past. I attacked my own brother. My _brother_: the exact brother who tried to get me to go when it turned dark out, the one who helps me every year on Leo's day, and the one who went after me. I attacked him. I am the monster that every story has, I am the monster that tries to eat the princess, the one that the rest of the wizarding world thinks I am. I am actually that monster._

I turned over on the floor, hearing my back pop and crack in different places. I could feel my head thumping against the hard wood floor and the sickness in my stomach, but I felt numb to all the pain. Tonight was the full moon. A measly week and a half after learning our parents' discovery, and I had to face Remus for the first time in the situation that I created. If it weren't for me, he wouldn't have to live through the pain with me tonight. He wouldn't have to live through the pain with me every other full moon.

I saw a bit of myself in the mirror and slowly stood up to see my face. Along with the full moon, my self-loathing had taken a toll on my appearance. My mind flashed back to the winter formal at James' house and how different I thought I looked then. Now though, I didn't recognize myself again, except it didn't make me feel anywhere near close to how I felt last winter. Dark circles had formed around my eyes, which were bloodshot red from my new sleeping habits. The skin on my cheeks drooped emptily, which was only amplified by my much paler self. My hair was dirty and in a tangled mess, but not that I cared one single bit. And to finish the look, I had become much thinner and weaker than ever, leaving my skin sagging. The guilt had taken over much more than just my inner self.

The last few days had been filled with sleepless nights, so I usually just stayed awake in bed and read up on anything I could find. Though I rarely found myself with any appetite, I only ever went down after I know everyone is asleep, most importantly Remus. After the talk, I'd grown into a coward and refused to face him, even though I knew I'd have to once this night came. My parents, on the other hand, stay away from me, probably because they expect me to be completely unstable and attack them.

Something else eating away at me is whether the boys are going to be coming or not tonight, but it shouldn't make a difference because I'm never going to forgive myself. Not to mention, I'd never expect any of the boys to ever forgive me.

Footsteps were approaching my room. First quickly, then slower, and slower, until a halt. I could hear the steady breathing right outside the room, contemplating whether to knock or not, wondering whether to bother or not. After a few more moments, the footsteps retreated and I let out a breath, "I guess not." Sitting down on the floor again, I put my head down, not in the hopes of sleeping, but in the hopes of not thinking. _A monster. That's all that you are and ever will be. _

The clock downstairs range nine times, meaning it was nine and I had to go to the forest. Being a monster doesn't leave many choices, so I got up and went. I specifically knew Remus would never leave without me, so I just went alone. He would probably be walking about fifty paces behind me anyway.

Once I got to the cave we meet at, I noticed them there, already in form. I stared into the grey eyes looking at me the way I'd grown accustomed to. I knew that those grey eyes would never look at me that way again after knowing the truth.

And so, the night began.


	24. The Strong One

Chapter 25

I could feel the cool rag being lightly pressed against my forehead along with the aching pain going through my body. My eyes felt too heavy to open and I couldn't help but enjoy the light temple massaging someone was giving me.

The voice was barely a whisper and raspy, but familiar. "You're so beautiful. What've you done to yourself, Iz? You've starved yourself sick. You could've talked to me, to any of us really," he mumbled, and I could feel his breath just inches from my face. He probably was assuming I was still knocked out. He continued for a few more minutes until I heard someone call for him a room or two away. Sighing, I could hear him stand up and walk out of the room.

Slowly, I forced myself to open my eyes and saw the ceiling of my very own room. I frowned for a moment, but then the roaring headache hit me along with the pain pumping through my sore body. Along with my newly weaker self, the effects from the full moon had intensified even more. The heightened pain, I assumed, was because my already energy-drained, werewolf self had just laid around letting Remus' self punch me around like a play toy. _But I deserved it; it's my fault he's in this situation anyway. Probably made the boys' job a lot easier too. _

"Ugh," I moaned as I slowly sat up, examining the cuts and bruises, and the sharp pain in my back I could only diagnose as a broken spine. I held in a breath, hoping it'd take the pain away, at least for a moment, but it made me feel even worse. _You're selfish. You deserve all of this pain. You shouldn't even be complaining. _

But even with the guilt, I couldn't stop the moaning that was coming out of my mouth. I ached everywhere, some places more than others. It wasn't particularly helpful, but it was definite; my pain had never been that terrible.

"Hold it, I think she's awake. Give me the potion. Now!" I heard him yell and then some scurrying until my door opened. I looked up wearily into those grey eyes and my lip quivered; I was scared of what I was going to see. _Is he going to think of me as a monster? A mutant? A mutt?_

But the gaze was broken almost immediately and he averted his sight to my scratched legs. He hurried over with my potion open and ready for me. I tried to catch a little eye contact, but he seemed much more focused on forcing the potion down my throat.

After I gulped down my potion, James came in with piles of food. Fruits, eggs, fried meats, portage, toast, and milk were all being carried on one tray and were put in front of my folded legs. I frowned at the food, but anyone in the room could hear my stomach grumble. Even my guilt couldn't stop my hunger anymore. James looked right at me, but with a blank look and ordered, "Eat. You've made yourself sick, so eat. All of it." He gave me a stern, but yet still blank look and left the room. I swallowed the lump in my throat. Hesitantly, I took a piece of toast off the pile and started nibbling on it, trying to look anywhere away from Sirius. But, of course, he was looking at me this time, but he was giving me the "look over". Sirius was looking at my frail figure, my hollow cheeks, my pale skin, and I could tell he was disgusted.

"Why would you do this?" he finally asked as I nibbled at my bread.

I waited a moment, but then shrugged, the pain already beginning to go away.

He opened his mouth for a moment, but shut it again and shook his head. "Typical, stubborn Scars, oh, but wait, you don't want to be Scars anymore, right? You don't want to be a Marauder or even a friend of ours. You want to wallop up and make yourself sick. The full moon was _four _nights ago; we've been here for three days waiting for you to wake up. You almost died, so I suggest you eat everything that's in front of you and take a moment to realize what you were doing." He spoke calmly and blankly, but the anger was in his eyes. In the grey I could see all the hurt and pain he'd gone through and it made me sick to my stomach. He stood up and headed for the door. As a last thought, he turned to me and added, "And not just to yourself, but to all of us around you." Then he really left.

And that was when I realized I didn't just owe guilt to Remus, I owed it to Sirius too, and James, and even Peter. They took care of me, when I probably was going to die. They protected me even after I'd done such a stupid thing.

_But do they know the truth? Did Remus tell them anything? No. He didn't. Or else they would have let you die. _I sighed and decided to just do what I was told and ate. Honestly, the food and nutrition felt amazing to my weak, limp body. I started out by eating slowly, but couldn't hold myself back and just began stuffing my face as quickly as I could. Even with the guilt I felt, my hunger overcame it again, but to a much higher degree.

Once I finished the last sip of milk, I took a moment to look around my room and notice the chair next to my bed. The one Sirius must have sat in for hours, waiting for me to wake up. Despite our fighting and my slight starvation, I could tell he still loved me. _But it doesn't matter. Because when he finds out what you did, he won't love you anymore. He'll hate you. He'll be afraid of you. You'll never deserve him._

And it was true; I would never deserve Sirius, or anyone for that matter.

A gentle knock came on my already open door and made my head glance up. Automatically, I tensed up after seeing the person in front of me; it was Remus: my brother, my victim. He looked a lot how Sirius looked, bloodshot eyes, tearstained eyes, messy hair; it kind of reminded me of myself just a few days before, looking in the mirror. He leaned against the doorway, his scars emphasized on his face with newer ones. He just looked at me, not saying anything, but just staring. I, on the other hand, couldn't stand to look at him.

"Glad to see you ate," he finally said out of the blue. I glanced up at him, but my eyes moved straight to the floor and I nodded a bit too quickly, making my head pound even more. I heard a sigh come from him, as if it was supposed to mean a lot more than just a breath. But then I heard a sniffle and couldn't help but raise my head; Remus had never in his life actually cried or even teared up in front of me. The sight of the one tear that rolled down his cheek made tears of my own swell up in my eyes. I shut my eyes to stop the tears and I opened my mouth, but nothing came out, not even a sound of an apology.

He sniffed again, "You know, I have always been the rational one. I was always the one to make sure we were on time, and safe, and everything was right, but you were the strong one, Iz. You've always been the stronger one. You just have never realized it." I watched his Adam's apple move up and down and opened my mouth a bit.

I wasn't even sure if I just thought it to him, or I whispered it, but in some way I quietly said, "_I-I'm sorry."_

"I know."

And he closed the door. After my weeks of not saying anything and hating myself, all I could manage to maybe say to Remus was "I'm sorry". I didn't understand how he could even think I was the stronger one. I was the one who broke down, the one who lets someone break her heart, the one that's too scared to give him a real apology. He was wrong. I wasn't the strong one. I could never be.


	25. A Party

Chapter 26

I pulled my knees up to my chest and laid my chin on them. This had become one of my favorite positions to sit in ever since I'd begun to spend all my time in my room, except for one thing: I was not in my room.

Ironically enough, I was sat in one of the many Potter guest rooms. I was in a dress Lily had made me put on before she left for the wedding, might I add, wearing the ugliest gown known to man. It was a sickly green color and finished at the mid-ankle. It was botchy and completely unflattering to her, but I personally thought that was particularly why Petunia chose it as Lily's bridesmaid dress.

Anyway, once the wedding date had been set, Lily had decided that since none of us "weirdos" were to be invited, she would have a get-together. Normally, Lily would never invite James to anything, but she knew his house was the only place to host it so Vi and Remus got him to lend it to her for the night. So, that was the reason for Remus' and my parents got us to stay at the Potter's house. Lily had invited James, Sirius, me, Vi, Remus, Peter, Alice, Frank because he was Alice's fiancé now, the twins, and some other boys and girls in different houses. It was completely surprising to me that Lily would host anything along the lines of a party, but she was obviously not invited to her sister's reception.

So then, a few hours later I found myself, again sat, but this time on the floor of James' basement against the wall. I watched as everyone danced and laughed, but I couldn't find myself in a party mood. I looked over to the corner; the boys had snuck in some firewhisky and most of the guests had had a little, or a lot. I'd even seen Alice have a bit to drink, but now she was dancing a little wildly with Frank in the middle of the room. The two were the perfect couple, and even tipsy were completely adorable. Remus was dancing with some girl I'd never seen on the dance floor, which brought a smile to my face. In another corner, Lily was surprisingly being whispered to in the ear by some seventh year Ravenclaw, and even though James could easily see them, he was already canoodling some Hufflepuff. On the nearest couch to me, Vi and Fabian were in a heated and clumsy snogging session. Peter and Gideon were in the mist of a drinking truth or dare circle on the other side of the room with some more kids.

I played around with my bottle of firewhiskey, but never having been much of a fan for it, just continued sloshing it around. As I circled the room I noticed that there was, of course, only one person missing: Sirius Black. I sighed quietly. I missed him so much. He had been my best friend; the one who would do anything with me and would make sure I was never bored. Yes, he'd started out as an enemy, but then he became my closest friend, and finally my boyfriend. Then I messed everything up and I was nothing to him.

Except, he still didn't know the truth about me. That I'd attacked my own brother at the age of five, nor that I wanted to rot myself away because of it. So, we could never be together even if I wanted to.

And at that thought, none other than the Black himself was seated next to me.

I expected him to already be hammered, it nearing midnight already, but he seemed perfectly sober. "You know, I remember the last party we were at together." _The winter ball, lovely. Where we finally got together._ My heart sank at the memory of how happy I was. "Yep, one of James' cousins had made us partners and you walked right into me. You were wearing that white dress that you just looked gorgeous in, oh and let's not forget the tiara," he chuckled, I could almost hear the smirk that was no doubt plastered on his face. "While we danced you stepped on my foot, multiple times, but then once the song ended you ran away from me." His tone continued to be eerily cheery.

I stared at my bottle, not saying a word.

"Then, eventually, I found you outside on that little hidden bench," he continued, grinning a bit too much to be completely natural. "Speaking of which, let's go out there, it's getting hot in here." Without me answering he stood up and let out his hand for me to take. I looked hesitantly at the hand, but he wouldn't let it go. I just sighed and put down my bottle, taking his wrist for him to pull me up. He smiled a bit, entertained that I refused to hold his hand and led me out, as if everything was normal. I quickly took my hand away from his wrist and just walked with him, biting my lip.

We strolled through the beautiful garden, which looked so much more different than how it did that winter night. The flowers were out, the grass was a vibrant green, and animal noises filled the air. The sky was a somber grey, meaning it was going to storm soon, and the air was humid, but it was still splendid weather to me.

"Bit different than last time we were here. Without all the snow, you know," Sirius said, which gave me the strange impression he was reading my mind. I nodded and mumbled an agreement with him, but he persisted to keep conversation. "Personally, I miss the snow. We could've had a snowball fight right here," he acknowledged airily, but it was like a punch in the gut. He wasn't talking about the blasted weather, but about us now. He was torturing me with the thought of _our_ past snowball fights, but I wasn't going to lose the little game he was playing.

"I dunno, snowball fights are _so _childish. We're sixteen now. We'll need to stop making stupid mistakes now," I played on, and without thinking made the last comment a bit harsher than I'd normally, but he was getting on my last nerve.

He nodded. "Suppose you're right. The snow isn't quite as fun as it seems. Gets tired after a while," he snapped back once we'd reached the bench finally. "Come, sit," he semi-offered, semi-demanded. I did as I was told and sat down on the other side of him, crossing my legs away from him. We sat in silence, both probably regretting what we had said already. Being hot headed, we both tended to speak without thinking it through.

I picked at the end of my dress quietly, and he leaned back on the bench, putting his hands behind his head. He was doing exactly what he'd done back in December, except this time it was a thousand times more irritating.

"Didn't get a chance to say it earlier, but you look nice," he said finally. I couldn't help but raise my eyebrows at him. After all that we'd said to each other, and he says that? He shrugged at me and looked away from me, "the dress suits you. At least better than the one Lily had to wear."

And that's probably what surprised me the most. It wasn't the snapping at each other, but he had _never,_ in as long as I'd known him, called Lily 'Lily', he'd always called her 'Evans'. His normally cool as a cucumber exterior wasn't there anymore. I stared at him, trying to read his expression, but I couldn't. He was both opening up to me and shutting me out at the same time.

"Why'd you let me stay with you earlier?" Sirius asked out of the blue and my mind went to the beginning of the summer when he'd come in the pouring rain. "I mean, I'd hurt you, big time, yeah? Yet, you still opened the window _and_ you let me stay with you for a week. Why?"

_Why is he even asking? It's obvious why._ "Because I care about you. Because you'd flown kilometers in the pouring rain, which by the way could have gotten you killed, and told me your dad kicked you out and you had nowhere to go. What else would I have done? Kicked you out to fend for yourself without money nor magic?" I probably said more than what I would have normally, but the truth was just pouring out of me.

"Then why did you say that kiss was a mistake?" he asked as he sat up, facing me. "Why didn't we get back together if you still love me?"

I was completely flabbergasted. He was asking _me_ why we weren't together? "I said I _cared_ for you, not that I _loved_ you. And secondly, I vowed I would never get back together with you; you hurt me too much while we dated. Not to mention that I won't be dating you for the fact that I don't bloody deserve you!" I accidently blurted out the last bit, but I was too annoyed to care at the moment.

He looked just as annoyed as I was, "Oh, you don't love me anymore? Like I'm stupid enough to believe that! We were perfect together, why don't you get that? Yeah, we had rough spots, but everyone does. And of course you bloody deserve me! Are you mad?"

I could feel tears starting to come, but I quickly pushed them away and yelled, "I don't deserve anyone! Not you, not Remus, not James, not Lily, _no one!_ I just need to be left by myself where I can't hurt anyone else!"

He scoffed, "So you can starve yourself again? 'Cause that worked out so well the first time." Sirius sighed in aggravation, running a hand through his damp hair, "Izzy, how the hell could you do that to yourself? You do realize that if the James, Peter, and me weren't all there during the full moon, Remus would have literally ripped you apart and killed you? How could you do that to him? Do you realize what would have happened to him? _You _made him go through that. _You_ made all of us go through that!" The truth was coming out and I realized that he was _furious_ at me. He had been furious with me for weeks, but he'd done a damn well job at hiding it. Hiding obviously wasn't working out anymore.

I was just as angry and loud as he was. "And wanna know what else I did? I bit him! I'm the one who did it! I bloody bit my own bleeping brother! The one that tried to _save _me, tried to go out and _look_ for me. I'm the monster; I'm the one who attacked him! It's all my fault, Sirius!" I was shaking, harder than ever, never thinking that our conversation would go that far. I glanced up at Sirius' face; it looked like he'd been punched in the gut. He looked utterly shocked.

I stiffened up and continued, but this time much more quietly. "You don't know. You just don't know how it feels to break every single bone in your body in a matter of minutes, or to feel all your nails bursting out of your fingertips. You don't have to be afraid of hurting someone else and putting them through that pain. That's what I put Remus through. _That's _my entire fault. It's one thing to hurt yourself, Sirius, but to hurt someone else, to hurt your own _brother_, basically you're only real family, that's the worst feeling in the world. You'll never understand how hard it is to live with yourself after that."

All he did was stare at me. Just stared for what seemed like forever, but he then eventually asked me in a whisper, "does he know?"

I nodded. "Parents told him when they told me," I answered, watching a flower near by. "So, think of me what you want. I'm a monster and I know it."

"I… Izzy, I'd never. It wasn't your fault, you were only a child, not to mention you can't control yourself during…" he drowned out, but I could hear his voice break and I shut my eyes, shaking my head.

"We both know you don't believe that, and we both know I'll never deserve you, so just stop. Stop trying; I can't do this anymore. I'm going for a walk, if anyone asks about me tell them I'm fine and I'll be back at some point," I said quickly and stood up, heading for a direction towards the street. I walked quickly, but I knew he wouldn't chase me. Who would?

As if on cue, the rain started lightly, but I kept walking, thankful for the rain because it disguised the tears I'd finally let go. First it was a light streak of tears, but soon I was sobbing out loud, just wishing for it all to not be real. I sat down on a curbside, holding my head in my hands. I was finished, broken. I'd told Sirius my secret and he'd reacted exactly as I'd expected, but I'd secretly hoped it would be okay. That even after he'd heard the news, he'd tell me he still loved me no matter what, but I could never blame him. I was a monster, and I couldn't expect him to just let that go.


	26. An Idiotic Decision

Chapter 27

_I could hear the drops of water dripping from my clothes. Tiptoeing into the basement, I prayed everyone was already asleep. I was wet and shivering, but tried not to make a sound as my teeth clicked. My nose was quickly hit with the smell of alcohol and body odor. It was pushing two in the morning and pitch black. I squinted into the darkness and saw about half a dozen bodies splattered around on the couches and some on the floor. I prayed to Merlin that James' parents were going to be going to work early in the morning and wouldn't bother to check up on us at all. As of that moment, my foot hit a chair and I almost tripped; I was cursing under my breath before I could stop myself. I bit my lip, waiting for someone to wake up, but the steady sound of breathing and light snoring was not interrupted. Except, one pair of eyes did open. Grey eyes. Typical. He didn't look directly at me, but it gave me the feeling that he'd waited up for me, wanting to see that I got home safely. _

_I lied down on the floor, exhausted, but at the same time not wanting to sleep. I shut my eyes, and the events of that night replayed in my mind. _

_Whether or not I had actually fell asleep, all of us were woken up by Mrs. Potter screaming, "James Potter and Sirius Black! Is that firewhiskey?" at a much earlier hour than any of us were ready for. After Mrs. Potter lectured us all about underage drinking, and how she was sure she was going to speak to all of our parents, we all cleaned up the basement. Once everything was spotless, half of us left, and half of us stayed._

I was not one who stayed.

I walked down Euston Road, trunk in hand, in the direction of Kings Cross Station. The day was dreary and the air was moist with the threat of storms, but there hadn't been a sunny day in ages.

Though I normally didn't walk around muggle London alone, my mother had made sure that both Remus and me would be able if we ever needed to. She'd taught us how to floo to Diagon Alley, and how to get to Kings Cross from there. My parents had work, but weren't worrying; it was _already_ our sixth year. On the other hand, Remus was coming with James and Sirius. After Lily's party, I decided to just stay at home, but even with my parents' reservations, we still made an effort to stay out of each other's ways. Most out of the few weeks were spent either in my room reading up on potions or outside in muggle areas. I'd barely made even an attempt to owl Remus or anyone else, really. I mostly just stayed on my own, not wanting another conversation similar to my one with Sirius.

It being September 1st, the platform was filled with muggles scrambling around, hardly noticing the few witches and wizards with carts containing trunks and owls, rats, cats, and toads. I'd always thought it was interesting how busy muggles must have been, to not even notice the peculiar animals flocked around the train station. I looked up at the sighs until I was there between nine and ten. I looked around briefly and ran into the wall of nine and three-quarters, the cheery Hogwarts Express coming into view. Despite myself, I smiled. Another year at Hogwarts was another year of mystery and magic.

Wizards and witches all around me were scurrying around; mothers yelling to their children what not to forgot; young couples were kissing good-bye for the last time till Christmas; children crying because they still had to wait to go to Hogwarts. I sighed and headed towards the train, invisible to all the people around me. I handed in my trunk and stepped onto the Gryffindor section of the train and my stomach sank in the thought of having to find a compartment. As I walked down the wagon, my mind went to all the times I'd walked down the train alone, hoping to find a seat alone, just as I was then. I decided that this ride would not be alone, and went to find Lily. I found her in a compartment with a couple of fourth year Gryffindors and went in, saying a quiet greeting, not really liking the younger girls.

One of the girls giggled, "Hey, weren't you that crazy girl who was screaming while _Sirius Black_ carried to through the train last year? Heard you two broke up, shame really. I heard Cathy Anderson's on the prowl." She fake purred and the group giggled together. Instead of replying I just glared at them, and Lily turned to me, forcing a smile.

"So… I've been made prefect this year, hope you don't mind?" Lily asked hesitantly, and I smiled a bit at her to make her feel better.

"That's great, Lil, congrats. You deserve it more than anyone else." And I meant it; Lily deserved the title much more than I did. She looked thoroughly relieved and relaxed a little.

"Cool, okay, good. Once the train starts, I'll have to go the meeting, so will you be all right with…" She gestured to the younger girls by glancing at them. I smiled at her concern and nodded.

"I'll be fine. I've got more to think about than some gossip," I reassured and we chatted a bit more until she had to go.

Once Lily'd gone, I sat back and faced the window, watching as we drove away from London. Though it shouldn't have, the mention of Sirius with Cathy did bother me, not that I deserved to feel that way. We were over, and he was allowed to date whomever he wanted to, without my consent.

The girls remained in the compartment, but I really didn't mind much, even with their constant giggling. They mostly left me alone, bust when I went out to change into my robes, the fourth years told me a small goodbye and laughed to each other.

I sighed, walking over to the restrooms slowly. Unconsciously, I looked into the compartments and, of course, saw the boys all splattered about in one. I didn't allow my gaze to linger, but I did notice James and sleeping whereas the other two were talking to each other, somewhat intensely too. I gave myself a little shake and forced myself to stop thinking about what they were talking about so intimately. Once I'd found the loo, I changed, and walked back to our compartment, which was already full of the fourth year boys, filling up the cart completely. I grumbled under my breath and remembered an empty seat in a room with some reading second years.

I walked back to their compartment and they allowed me to sit in with them, although with some weird looks. I thanked them quietly and took out a potions book of my own along with a journal. Tucking my legs under me, I made myself realize that this was how it was going to have to be now. It was important not to let myself get carried away again.

"Ugh, he just doesn't seem to want to get over that- well- you know… _her_," Cathy whispered, but hardly at a quieter volume than she normally spoke.

"Come off it, Cath, he's obviously mad over you, he just… He feels _sorry _for her. You know, she's been all weird and like a loner now," Gwen replied, obviously it was oblivious to pair of them that I was merely meters away from them.

Cathy whined, "But he should be mine by now. It's already November for Merlin's sake."

They'd been at it for half an hour, and while I _was_ trying to concentrate on the 15-inch essay McGonagald had assigned us, I couldn't handle listening to either of them anymore. So, from my own stupid temper, I opened up the curtains surrounding my bed and looked at them both.

"Enough of your whining. Come with me," I ordered, standing up and walking down the stairs. Both of them were hesitant, but eventually gave in and followed me.

I walked over to the couch where Sirius and James were playing some sort of game and pulled Cathy to Sirius. "There, if you want to shag him so bloody bad, tell him. Sirius, Cathy wants you, so date her already. You almost did last year."

Ignoring either of their looks and the looks from others in the common room that had overheard me, I simply walked up the stairs to my dorm and sat down on my bed. For a moment I sat there, until the realization of my impulsiveness came to me.

"Oh bloody hell, what've you done, you _moron_?" I mumbled to myself and fell onto my back. I'd made a _very_ idiotic decision.


	27. Holiday at Hogwarts

Chapter 28

Lily's gold heels clicked on our dorm room floor continuously as she walked back and forth from the mirror to the drawer. She took out a variety of different gold jewelry, nervously trying to decide which would go better with her dark green dress.

"Lily, you look gorgeous. You're going to knock every bloke out," I assured her, as she looked at me hesitantly, but I was completely serious. Lily had chosen an emerald dress on this Christmas night. The dress was both holiday-related, and not to mention made her green eyes and red hair look fantastic. She chose gold instead of silver just to stick it to the Slytherins, which may or may not have been my own idea. Lily had been freaking out over how she looked for some reason, but I suspected that she wanted to look nice for some guy going to the party.

It was the night of the Slugclub annual Christmas party, and Lily was a prized member so decided to stay at school for the holidays to be able to attend. The club was mostly filled with people who have powerful, magical family members, or students that Slughorn just happened to like. I was not one of those students that Slughorn liked enough to invite, and neither was Remus. He didn't hate either of us; he simply tolerated us most of the time. But Remus and I were still staying at Hogwarts for the break because we were happier at school than at home.

"Well, except for Fabian," Vi added in, walking in from the bathroom with her hair straightened for once. I chuckled in response. Vi, Sirius, and James were all invited to the party for their namesakes; Potter and Black were very well known names in the wizarding world.

I checked the clock on the nightstand. "Alright, ladies. It's five to eight; time for you to go," I announced to them as they did last minute mirror checks. I smiled a bit. "You both look great, seriously, just go already."

They smiled and the three of us headed for the stairs when Cathy came out of the bathroom, wearing a slightly revealing dress, but still looking amazingly. I held in a groan; I could never get away from her. Cathy had stayed because she was someone's date, _Sirius' date in fact_.

She smirked at me a bit as we all headed downstairs, the other three in gowns and pretty makeup, and then me in my stained Quidditch shirt and sweatpants.

Three boys were waiting together: Fabian, Sirius, and surprisingly… _James? Who's he waiting for?_ Cathy went over to Sirius and smiled brightly at him, whereas he did more of a head-nod at her. Vi went over to Fabian who looked simply blown away and kissed her hand romantically. I smiled at the pair of them and then saw Lily… go over to James.

She smiled a bit at him and when he politely gave her his arm, she hesitantly took it, but then looked happy enough. I stared at them from across the room, but both of them were completely unaware, probably from both being too nervous.

I bit my lip as the couples left the room, my gaze lingering on Sirius and Cathy. Of course, after my little "show" Sirius finally took her out to Hogsmeade, but they weren't really in a "boyfriend"-"girlfriend" status yet. It'd already been a month, but Sirius continued to just string her along. He'd been, well… "hanging around" with his fangirls most of the time now, not really caring who anymore.

Sirius hadn't spoken to me since August, other than the occasional yell during Quidditch about a bludger coming my way. The full moons had gotten so much worse; I could barely look Remus in the eye while we sat there alone in the Shrieking Shack, and the boys seem to think that Snape was following them when they went. Even though I wasn't a fan of Snape anymore, it made me so nervous to think how easily I could hurt yet another person who was once close to me.

It was apparent that both James and Peter now knew my secret, and it just made me feel even worse. Neither of them, just like Sirius, had said anything to me yet, so I just assumed they were still processing.

I sat on the couch, watching the fire as I held a blanket close. It was dark and snowing, my favorite weather and I couldn't help to smile despite what was going on. Even with the school drama, and not to mention the rumours of You-Know-Who gaining power, I was content with just that moment. I held my knees close and enjoyed the warmth coming from the fire, closing my eyes lightly. I was alone, which even though I normally was alone now, felt much better than it normally did. Only a handful of Gryffindors had stayed for the holidays, but all except for some younger kids (who were currently stuffing themselves at Christmas dinner), Remus, and me weren't at the Christmas party.

My mind drifted off to my future, and my research. I had read almost every book in the library about werewolves, and it just made me really realize how much people hated us. We were mutts, animals, and we had no chance of getting a career if our conditions were well known to the public. It was completely unfair, but that was an understatement. I was frankly surprised that Dumbledore even let us into Hogwarts; if any parents found out about us, they'd definitely take their kids out of the school without a second thought.

My new knowledge is what finally made me understand my parents and how hard it must be for them to see us like this. While we were kids, our parents had tried everything to make us better, but there was nothing that could be done. I remember how devastated they were when the healer told them that there was nothing that could cure our lycanthropy. Back then, I didn't even understand, but now I do.

I sighed; everyone's suffering had been my fault. If I'd just listened to Remus, Fenir Greyback wouldn't have been able to find us to take revenge out on our father and I would have never bitten my own brother.

My content was exchanged for guilt quickly and I bit my lip, wishing I could just change the past, or at least forget it. I looked into the fire when Remus sat down next to me, holding a large book as usual. I smiled sadly at him.

He huffed a little, noticing my mood, "Iz, just stop thinking about it. No one blames you."

I laughed sarcastically, "then why do the guys refuse to speak to me now?"

"Because you're shutting them out… You're shutting all of us out. And they just need some time to understand, so just give them a little while to," he answered, watching me closely.

"How come you didn't need any time then? You seemed to get over it pretty quickly," I questioned, finally allowing myself to ask what I'd been wondering for months.

He smiled softly at me, "Because I know what it's like. I know what it's like to lose your mind and then wake up in the morning without remembering anything. And you were just a little kid, and Greyback would have found one of us at some point."

I nodded slowly and found myself with a small smile. "… How do you do that, Rems? You're so calm and understanding. How do you keep such a cool head when life's been so unfair to you?" I asked, amazed at how different we both were in practically the same situation.

He shrugged, smiling too, "Just how I am. I'm the quiet, cool-headed one, and you're the stubborn, brave one." He pulled me close and kissed the top of my head and it was the first time in so long that we'd actually had a real conversation. Remus mumbled, "I've missed you, Scars. What happened to you?"

"I seem to get that question a lot," I chuckled weakly, resting my head on his shoulder. "I just can't handle it. When I finally start to feel better I just get guilty all over again. I've had to force myself to give up the people I love most so they're better off." I played with my nail, not looking at him.

"He's not happier without you, none of them really, I hope you realize that. Just give them time. But don't shut me out at the same time. We're family, Iz, we can't just drop each other. Okay?" Remus asked and I nodded.

"Love you, Rems. I really do," I whispered and we sat there quietly, listening to the fire crackle until eventually Remus got tired enough to sleep, and to make me go to sleep.

Honestly, it was a much better Christmas for me than the party could have ever been.

I cracked my neck as I got out of bed, groaning quietly to myself. It was another full moon, and for one of my breaks I decided to just take a short nap. It was neither relaxing nor long nap, but when I looked at the clock I realized that I was ten minutes late to Defense Against the Darks Arts, which happened to be one of my worst classes. I jumped up, ignoring how terrible I looked, and ran down to the common room. The only people who were in there were some second years and …Sirius? He was closely watching what I could only distinguish as the Marauder's Map as to it was yellow and large. I bit my lip, shoving things into my bag, trying to think if it was a good or bad idea to go try to talk to him.

He'd obviously not been watching for me on the map, or would have realized I was only five meters behind him, so he was spying on someone else. Most of the Gryffindor sixth years were taking NEWT DADA, but there was one person I knew wasn't for a fact.

"Looking for your girlfriend?" I asked Sirius as I walked up behind him, suddenly annoyed by the thought of him using our map to look out for her.

Sirius looked up for a moment and very quickly folded up the map before I could see anything, whispering, "_Mischief managed_".

"Shouldn't you be in the class I'm skipping?" he asked, seeming irritated all of a sudden, as if I had ruined some plan.

I bit my lip and shook my head in aggravation, taking my bag and swiftly walked out. After a few moments, Sirius followed me and somehow in my head I'd picture that he'd have some speech about how he still loved me, and would pick me up and kiss me, not caring about any class we were missed. Sadly, that wasn't the plan.

Sirius made sure to keep ten steps behind me as we walked to class and I cursed under my breath, trying to think of an excuse for Professor Diggle, the current DADA teacher that year.

As I walked into class, Professor Diggle seemed not to see me, so once I'd said, "excuse me" Sirius came in behind me. As the class turned to me, now us, I realized exactly how it must have looked like. My hair a complete mess, Sirius' hair normally a bit of a mess, my clothes wrinkled from sleeping; everyone must have thought we were off shagging in some broom closet. I was mortified, feeling my whole face turning a deep crimson.

Professor Diggle didn't pity me at all, "How nice of you two to join us... Detention, Friday at seven, and _don't_ be late. Please be seated Miss Lupin, and you too Mr. Black. Away from each other." Everyone watched between us two, but I was thankful for the class being with Slytherin, which meant a minimum of Sirius fangirls.

We spent the rest of the class trying to do wandless magic, which I'd missed most of the lesson for. Lily, who grasped most things quickly, tried to explain it, but I could tell all she wanted to do was ask what I'd been doing with Sirius.

I left the class as quickly as I could, and went to a mostly secluded tree I had a liking for. I leaned against the tree, holding my coat close; it was still a freezing Scotland January.

_I hate you, Sirius Black. I just hate you. Bloody ass. _

"Oh, Iz, you don't hate him," Remus said softly behind me and I groaned.

_Stop listening to me, Remus. _

Remus just chuckled a response and sat down next to me. "Look, I don't know what happened today between you two, and I don't want to, but you don't hate him. And he doesn't hate you either." I just shrugged, pulling my coat closer.

"I'm going to stay here until we go to the shack, so just say I left to visit Mum a little early after being so embarrassed from class," I instructed and Remus chuckled again.

"It wasn't that bad, Iz." I rolled my eyes in response. "It wasn't! He told me the truth about you oversleeping and reminding him that he was late to class." I looked at him, wondering why Sirius hadn't told him about the map watching, but eventually nodded.

"Exactly what happened," I assured him, watching the lake.


	28. A Discovery

Chapter 29

I enjoyed my last moments of solitude as I waited by the front entrance for Madame Pomfrey and Remus. The school healer had made sure that she would be walking us to the Whomping Willow every full moon to make sure we were safe. Madame Pomfrey was a strong woman, and very caring toward Remus and me, which was very sweet. She was one of the only people, who truly bothered to understand our conditions, which I thought was very genuine and kind. Even though Madame Pomfrey was sometimes a bit too fussy, I really appreciated her for being there.

As the pair of them walked up to, I gave them a small greeting as we all walked to the Whomping Willow. Mostly, we walked in silence as we normally did on the Full Moon. It was the worst time of the month, and even worse because it was one of the coldest full moons of the year. A problem about the coldest full moons of the year, is that Remus and me get much more violent as werewolves. The white snow crunched beneath our feet, no one speaking as we walked to the tree. I looked up at the cloudy, dark sky, seeing the moon a little bit as it rose.

We reached the willow, and Madame Pomfrey hit it with a stunning spell, wishing us both luck and sending us off. Remus and I took our long path to the Shrieking Shack, neither really wanting to strike up any kind of conversation. This was how it normally was; no matter how many times we went through it, the Full Moon never became casual, even between the two of us.

Once we reached the musty, old room we sat down against the bed, as we'd done just about every full moon, sitting there in silence. I played with a loose piece of wood on the floor, picking at it, while Remus played with a small rubber ball we kept there. The two of us did practically nothing for about an hour until the rest of the boys usually arrived. We both were looking at the door, waiting for them to come, but as more and more time ticked by, there was no sign of the boys.

"Remus… Do you think they're okay?" I finally asked after hours of waiting, glancing at the window; the full moon had almost completely risen. I was already bracing myself for the very soon transformation.

Remus slowly opened his mouth to speak, "I'm not-" and before he could finish, the pain began. As we both began to scream, watching our nails burst out of our fingers, the door burst open and black eyes were staring at us. My eyes watered, and my vision blurred from the pain as the black and white figure vanished, as did my human sense.

James

I sat with Peter in our dorm room, waiting with my invisibility cloak, checking the sky out the window every few moments. "Wormtail, are you sure you haven't seen him? It's almost eleven; I mean, we only have an hour left or Scars and Moony are on their own," I inquired, having a bad feeling in my gut.

Peter shook his head; "I haven't seen him almost all day, not since he explained that whole thing with Izzy during Dark Arts. I do remember him watching the map really closely though? It was weird, he got all defensive about it, telling me it wasn't any of my business."

I nodded slowly, trying to make sense of things, "Well… We should go anyway, come on, I'll put you in my pocket." Peter transformed and I tucked him into my pocket, pulling the invisibility cloak over myself.

I walked down to the common room, trying not to make a sound as some Gryffindors were still down talking and studying. We walked down towards the Whomping Willow in a secret passageway that cut through the laundry room.

We were about twenty meters away from the famous tree when I noticed a figure sitting by the tree. I frowned, walking towards the person, pulling my wand out, trying not to make a sound as snow crunched below my feet. As soon as I was close enough, I squinted into the darkness and made out the black, long hair, and realized that it was, in fact, Sirius. I quickly pulled the cloak off, rushing towards my friend.

"Sirius, what the bloody hell are you doing out here? Where were you?" I asked him, and he turned around with some mad look on his face.

"James… I don't know what I've done… He just… He kept following us… I didn't even know what I was doing… Th-the moon…" Sirius mumbled as he shakily pointed up to the night sky. I frowned, trying to comprehend what he was going on about. Peter transformed back into himself as he, too, looked thoroughly confused as to what Sirius was stammering about.

"Padfoot... What do you mean?" I hesitantly asked him and he frantically began pointing towards the Whomping Willow.

"Sn-Snape! I told him about the spell and h-he…" Sirius exclaimed and finally it all made sense to me. My eyes widened with realization and I hit the tree with the stunning spell.

Hurriedly, I thrust my cloak at him and ordered, "Peter, take Sirius back into the common room. I'll get Severus." I jumped into the hole in the roots of the tree into the secret passageway. Then I ran. I ran as fast as I could, knowing that there were only minutes before the full moon would completely rise and Severus Snape would be as good as dead. Yes, Snape was a good wizard, but could he take on two adolescent werewolves? Doubtful.

Dozens and dozens of things were scratching and hitting me as I tried to run even harder. It was then where I was truly thankful for how tough I'd trained the Quidditch team, or I'd have never had even a chance of making it. I was sweating, despite the freezing whether, panting until finally I saw him. Severus was taking his wand out, unlocking the trapdoor and kicking it open. I could hear the screams of pain from my friends much louder now, and finally managed to pull Severus back, shutting the door and locking it with my wand.

"_Are you bloody insane?_" I demanded to the now horror-struck Snape. I was breathing heavely, and so was he, though I don't believe it was from running like me. Snape didn't answer me, but watched me carefully instead.

Once I finished catching my breath, we both spent a moment listening to the sounds from inside the Shack. I winced as I heard a body being thrown against the wall, and lots of growling. I knew what the cold did to their conditions; I knew how terrible both of them would be in the morning.

"Congratulations on figuring it out. Let's go," I simply told Severus, and we silently headed back.

Eventually, Snape and I left each other; him to the dungeon and me to the Gryffindor tower. I tried to walk carefully, knowing that I shouldn't get myself into trouble, especially on the full moon, but it was difficult from the events that had transpired. Luckily, I didn't meet any professor or prefect on my way to the common room, and was able to get in without a trace.

In the room there were five people sitting around the room. One girl was sitting at a table, doing some last minute homework, a couple was snogging on the couch, and Sirius and Peter were sitting on the floor by the fire, staring at me. I went over to them and sat down quietly.

"He's fine. It was really close though," I whispered to them, watching Sirius accusingly.

Peter nodded, whispering back to me, checking around the room to be safe, "did… did he see them?"

I sighed a bit, nodding a little, "he saw them… Changing. Like I said, it was really close. He was about ten seconds from being torn to pieces." Sirius finally looked up at me.

He had looked terrified and pale and I remembered how he looked not an hour ago. His hair had been sticking up on all ends, and his eyes… His eyes had been huge, crazy looking, like a madman out of Azkaban.

I watched Sirius, his eyes now full of regret. I shook my head a bit, changing my view to the fire. Without anyone saying it, all three of us knew that we'd be waiting up all night to go and see our friends.


	29. They Know

Early morning sunshine burst through the small, cracked window in the dusty shack, pouring straight into my face. My eyes slowly fluttered open as I looked up to the wooden ceiling, knowing better than to try to get up. I'd almost forgotten about what happened right before the moon completely rose the night before. Almost.

We'd been found out; our dirty secret was bound to be public knowledge by the lunchtime.

"We're going to have to leave Hogwarts," I heard Remus' strained voice announce somewhere to the right of me. "Dumbledore is going to get sacked, and we're going to be named as "public violations" or something like that." Despite the bitterness forced in his voice, I could tell something else was riding on his mind much more.

"Do you… Do you think he's alright?" I asked at last.

Remus let out a sigh, "well there's no sign of blood on my side of the room." I could tell he was worried, even without seeing his face.

"Nor mine."

And then we lied there. We lied in the silence as the sun rose up, and the snow continued. It must've almost been time for breakfast, considering the sunrise started around seven during this time of the year. Neither of us had gotten up yet, even though we both had been up for almost an hour, we were just too frightened of what pain would come.

Honestly, neither of us knew what to do at a time like this. Yeah, we'd had full moons alone, but not on the longest full moon of the year. Not in a long time.

Usually, Remus and I had James, Sirius, and Peter to help us, but we had no idea what had happened to them last night. Not to mention the fact that we'd insisted to Madame Pomfrey that we'd be fine on our owns in the mornings, so no one was coming. I was trying to will myself to get up, if I could even sit without help. Remus stayed silent and kept his mind closed from me, but I could assume he was reasoning just as I was.

There was a quiet knock on the door, and panic flooded me. Was it Snape, coming along with reporters and ministry workers? Was it Dumbledore, telling us that we couldn't go to Hogwarts anymore? The Minister of Magic himself? How could word have possibly gotten out so quickly?

The mystery person knocked again, a little firmer, as if there was a possibility that we hadn't heard the first time.

Before I could even sum up any courage, Remus quietly invited the anonymous suspect in.

To my greatest relief, I heard James' voice, "Woah…" I could only imagine how the Shack looked; it must have been pretty horrible if it could leave James Potter speechless.

There were light footsteps, and I saw James sauntering towards the bed, where the chest containing healing potions was kept. Following James were Peter and then Sirius, whom I could swear was avoiding my gaze. I could hear James rumbling through the trunk, until he managed to find the right bottle, going over to Remus first to sip, and then to me. "

Peter, start healing Moony's cuts. Sirius, do the same for… Isabelle," James instructed, and I almost cringed. The two of us had barely spoken for months, but he had never called me Isabelle as a first resort.

Sirius came to me, but I felt hesitation as he knelt down by me, taking out his wand. I finally got a proper look at him, as he started on my legs first. His normally sparking, beautiful eyes, were dark, almost like thunderclouds were filling up in his mind and they were windows. Dark bags were under his eyes, and I wondered if the boys had waited all night just to come see us as early as they thought was safe. Unintentionally, Sirius glanced up at my face, and our eyes locked for a moment. It was in that moment, where I knew that he knew, exactly what had happened the night before.

I stayed silent the rest of the time Sirius was healing my new cuts, and he made sure not to make anymore eye contact with me. I slowly sat upright with his help, and I got the chance to look around the room. There were claw marks covering the walls; many new ones, and the furniture had been upturned, very obviously by force. Ripped cloth was covering the floor, some from the drapes, some from the sheets.

Remus was also sitting up now, looking with just about as much color in his skin as our house ghost, Nearly-Headless Nick. James and Peter had dark bags under their eyes too, except without the dark look Sirius had in his.

"Has… Has there been any news?" Remus asked hesitantly, watching the others very closely. James tried to look confused, but his expression was clearly an act, and everyone knew it.

"None at all."

The three of them fixed us up as much as they could, and my already low mood dropped even more.

"Aren't you guys late for class? I mean… People assume things…" I didn't mean to hint about what happened in Defense Against the Dark Arts class just the day before, but my eyes wandered towards Sirius before I could stop myself. I was more afraid of Severus telling everyone our secret, because even if he told someone, they might just think he's crazy, but if James, Peter, Sirius, and the two of us are all missing the morning after a full moon…

Peter checked his watch while he bandaged up a large gash on Remus' leg, "we've got half an hour before Transfiguration… We'll just skip breakfast and be fine." He didn't sound at all angry or annoyed by it, but simply shrugged instead, and I felt a miniscule smile creeping up on my face. Even after everything that had happened, the guys were there for us. It made me forget about the night before for a few moments.

They spent about ten more minutes helping mend us, until Remus and me both got them to go to class. James left the invisibility cloak with us, just in case, and the three of them raced off to class. If the snow wasn't too thick, I figured they'd be around ten minutes late, but that was normal for them anyway.

I turned my head and found Remus watching me, frowning. Even without speaking to me, I knew exactly what Remus was questioning to himself, and I got reluctantly constrained myself to answer his thoughts. I remembered Sirius watching the Marauder's Map, and Snape being pulled out of the way at the exact moment, and the bags under the guys' eyes…

"They know what happened."


	30. Explanation

My shoes clicked against the stone floor as I made my way to Professor Diggle's room. It was the dreaded Friday, one that I would no doubt be forced to spend with Sirius. I walked in quietly and Professor Diggle was alone at his desk, probably grading papers, he glanced up at me, but remained silent. I assumed he was waiting for Sirius, so I just sat down, nervously playing with my nails.

Barely making the seven o'clock mark, Sirius strode in and plopped down at a desk a few seats away from me. He looked as he had all week: messy hair, bags under his eyes, that distant look in his eyes, but nevertheless still handsome. He didn't look my way, but patiently waited for Professor Diggle to tell us what we were supposed to do. Already five minutes into our detention, the teacher put down his quill and looked at the two of us, standing up.

"I need the two of you to organize my storage cabinets here, alphabetical order and size order. There may also be a boggart hiding in there so be warned, I presume you know the spell?" he asked, even though it was a third-year skill. Sirius and I both nodded, and my memory of that lesson came back.

_The DADA teacher that year had been a Professor Deerdrop, a tall, firm woman who wasn't scared of anything. Well, until she herself stepped in front of the boggart, changing into the form of a jack-in-the-box, a muggle toy that plays a melody until a doll pops out. It was very comical to see such a strange fear, but as she lined us all up, the fears showed a lot about a person. There were normal fears: spiders, snakes, bees, And there were strange fears: a strict-looking grandmother, killer flowers ready to strangle you, and so it went on. _

_Then just as I was about to go up, Remus pulled me back roughly. I was confused, to say the least, until the realization came to me that I knew exactly what my fear would be._

I suppressed a shudder, and continued trying to listen intently on Diggle's instructions, until he finally seemed to be finishing up.

"I'll be going to supper now, and will be back at eight-thirty when your detention will be over. I suggest you not do… anything, that'll postpone your work," he finished, looking at us with a small, but noticeable, look of disgust.

With that, we both nodded and Professor Diggle left. I looked at the large cabinet and let out an inaudible sigh.

Without saying anything, Sirius took one side of the shelves, and I took the other.

It was mindless busy work, and that pissed me off the no end, but it was as calm as I could manage in the situation. Sirius acted as if I wasn't two feet away from him, and I retaliated the same way, until I noticed him putting a box labeled "goblins" next to a book.

"No, the boxes should all be together, since they're the same in size, "I informed without actually meaning to. I almost cursed myself for saying anything as Sirius turned to face me a bit.

"Diggle said he wanted them in alphabetical too. See? _Gold at Gringotts_, which comes right after plain 'goblins'," Sirius corrected me, pointing to the gold letters on the book, but there was a slight edge in his voice.

"Well size goes before alphabetical. You're supposed to have the books in one place, alphabetically, and the boxes in another, "I snapped at him. The tones in both our voices sounded much more intense than the actual topic of conversation.

"Of course you think you're right about this, you think you know everything. I'm going to order it how I want to," he started shelving some books, and I made a reach to grab one.

In just a moment, I'd latched onto a book he was holding, and our fingers touched. It seemed like time had just stopped for a while, making me realize just how much I missed the warm, rough feeling of his hand on mine. It was sappy, something you'd see in a muggle movie, but it was also real. Our eyes were locked, and it seemed like neither of us wanted to pull away.

But just as fast as it had come, it left. Sirius' eyes turned back to mad, startled, and the warmth melted away. He pulled his hand back quickly, and I dropped the book. Hastily, he picked it up and began rearranging his side in the way I had said.

"You're right. It makes more sense your way," Sirius mumbled, avoiding eye contact with me. I was a bit too shocked with the former moment to be able to take my eyes off him, no matter how uncomfortable he looked. I touched my fingers, still feeling a little bit of the warm, tingling sensation that had previously passed throughout my body. I realize it was finally the right time.

"Sirius…" I whispered, but he didn't look up. He merely stopped moving, looking down at the bin piled with books. I got the feeling that he knew what I was going to say. "Exactly, what happened that night?"

My voice was a thousand times softer than it had been just minutes before. I knew that whatever he had done, it would be terribly hard to tell me.

"Sirius… Even if we're not at a great place right now, I still care about you. That'll never change… Just tell me, please," I tried keeping my voice at a low level. What I said was true, and honestly, as much as I didn't want to, my feelings for him were more than just caring.

So he told me. Sirius told me all about the gruesome details about how he'd been planning it for quite awhile when Regulus told him about Severus telling some of his goonies about how he always knew something was weird about me and Remus, and that he already suspected what. According to Regulus (who was only telling this to Sirius to taunt him), Severus had yet to tell anyone what it was that was wrong with us, probably waiting till he knew for sure.

So Sirius devised a plan, watching the map to see whether Snape really had been following us around (which he had been), so he decided to play a little "joke" on him.

"It was cruel, I know… I just was so angry at everything, and confused, and upset… I was in a bad place, not that that's any real excuse, I know. It didn't seem so bad when I was planning it; I just felt like it was what he deserved. I figured it'd scare him a bit, and then he'd promise not to go snooping anymore… When I finally realized what I'd done, I couldn't get myself to move… But then James and Peter found me, and thankfully James understood me, and went to get Sniv- Snape… I just didn't want anyone else to hurt you and Remus," he went quiet at the last part, looking ashamed.

I was too stunned to really say anything. Never in my wildest dream (or nightmare, for that matter) could I have thought of the story Sirius had told me. I just stood there, staring at the floor, my fingers shaking.

Sirius didn't seem to know what to do. He just sat there, watching me try to make sense of things.

I should have known. All the time he'd spent pouring over the map, being so secretive, the mad look he'd developed in his eyes. He had almost killed someone, someone who used to be my friend, someone who may not be a wonderful person, but wouldn't deserve to die that way… Or worse, _be bitten_.

I swallowed a lump in my throat, "I could have bitten him. _Remus_ could have bitten him. Not to mention the door could have been left open and we'd run wild, attacking the whole school. You put everyone in danger…" I wasn't yelling at him, but the disappointment in my voice was overwhelming. Sirius was many things, but the one thing I never though he could be was so cruel.

"I know… It was a mistake. The biggest mistake I've ever made… Please, Izzy… Don't think I'm just like my family. What I did was unforgivable in so many ways… But please don't think the worst of me, don't think I'm just another evil Black… Please," he begged, and I see the remorse in his eyes as I forced myself to look.

"I don't… I just don't see how you could want to teach such a lesson. I know you've never been a fan of him, but…" my voice let out. I was feeling hollow.

"I was just so mad at myself for the way I've treated you since I found out about what happened between you and Remus… None of that was your fault, and I just freaked out. I hurt you in so many ways… I just couldn't handle the thought of anyone else hurting you, adding even more pain," Sirius tried to explain, and as much as the gesture of love should have warmed my heart, even a tiny bit, it didn't.

"Sirius, I love you. So much… But I can't just get over what you did… I'm sorry," I couldn't get myself to explain everything I was feeling, and Sirius just looked sad now, but he nodded in understanding.

"I'm sorry too."

We both spent the next half-hour or so finishing stacking the shelves, the air uncomfortable and lonely. We both loved each other, we both were sorry, so what was stopping us? If I tried hard enough, I would have been able to make myself forgive Sirius, so why couldn't I just find the strength?


	31. Gaining Power

_There are three Unforgivable Curses known to the Wizarding World. As of the year 1717, the use of any of these curses, whether used on fellow wizard or muggle, will result in a lifetime sentence in Azkaban… _

I was sitting at a small, round table in the Gryffindor common room, tapping my quill on the surface as I flipped through our textbook. Professor Diggle had assigned the essay a week ago, but I'd been pushing it off till the last minute. It had not been an assignment I was excited about doing.

_Firstly, the Impeius Curse, which causes complete control over the spell's recipient. It is tremendously difficult to resist the curse, which is a reason why it can be so dangerous. If given by the wrong person, it can do an enormous amount of damage…_

After my detention with Sirius, it seemed like time had just decided to slow down, or maybe it was just because I was quite miserable. The last months of winter droned on, feeling longer than they ever had before. There were no snowball fights, very few laughs, lots of schoolwork, and kids were reading the _Daily Profit_ to look out the dozens of deaths in hopes of not recognizing any.

…_The second curse is the Cruciatus Curse. This curse is of torture, and inflicts a horrifying pain on the victim. Normally, the spell does not give any permanent damage, but has been reported to cause insanity among much more serious cases…_

The teachers had all been pushing us lately, much more than usual. Whether a NEWT, OWL, or any year student, teachers were expecting much more out of us. Transfiguration and Defense Against the Darks Arts were the classes that had been emphasized the most. Though I wasn't positive, I felt like Dumbledore and the teachers were trying to get us ready for the Wizarding War.

…_The third and final Unforgivable is the Avada Kedavra Curse, or just simply, the Killing Curse. It is an "unblockable" curse, as it cannot be blocked with a spell. The Killing Curse, hence the name, causes immediate death if the victim is hit…._

I scribbled my name onto the bottom once I'd finished the essay, and just felt even sadder. You-Know-Who's favorite spell happened to be the last one, and he was ultimately famous for it because no one had even had a fighting chance against him.

I looked around the common room. It was practically empty since it was lunchtime, so everyone was down eating. I figured I'd have about twenty minutes to eat something before Lily dragged me off to class, so I just sat for a moment.

I thought about Sirius. I'd been trying so hard to just make myself forgive him, but every time I looked at him I'm reminded of the fear in Severus' eyes when he saw us transforming. I knew Sirius wasn't a bad person, and nothing like his family. But it'd already been almost two months and I still couldn't even find myself holding a decent conversation with him.

"_So, don't you think Professor Diggle's working us super hard?" I asked Sirius, and nodded in agreement, but it was half-hearted. _

"_I'm glad to be learning all this stuff though, it'll come in handy…" Sirius commented, which made a lump form in my throat. _

"_Oh?" my voice was about an octave higher than it normal, so it turned out like a squeak. _

"_Well, there's only one way to really show everyone I'm not like my family. I'm going to fight against them," Sirius stated, staring ahead as we walked to the Great Hall. _

_I nodded slowly, but was frowning, not knowing what to say. The rest of the walk was in an uncomfortable silence. I didn't want Sirius to feel like he had to prove anything, but at the same time I felt like I did._

It was a well-known fact that some of You-Know-Who's largest supporters were members of the Black family. His most faithful Death Eater was Bellatrix Lestrange, Vi's sister and Sirius' cousin. I guess with such an infamous surname like Black, Sirius felt like he had to prove himself against it.

Remus was almost the same as I when it came to Sirius; as much as he tried to be understanding, I could tell he was disappointed and frankly hurt. Although neither of us would ever say it, especially to Sirius, it had felt like we had been pawns in the joke, just the monsters being used to scare Snape. Even if Sirius never had had the intention of making us feel that way, it still crept up into my mind occasionally.

I glanced down at the lake through a window, and was reminded of the event that had happened less than a year before. James fighting with Severus, Sirius laughing along with him, Remus and Peter doing absolutely nothing, Lily and me coming in…

"_No! I don't need that _Mudblood _or _Freak _saving me!" _

It didn't hurt me anymore, but I had a feeling that Lily would never get over it. Severus had been her best friend, she knew him better than anyone and he had completely betrayed her. He picked his Death Eater friends over her.

That was also when Sirius and I had broken up completely, and he'd gone crawling back to Cathy. It was almost a year later, but had Sirius actually grown up since then? At all?

James on the other hand, hated Severus more than anyone did, but he still saved his life the first moment he could. Yes, James had played some pretty horrible tricks on Snape, and the same goes the other way, but he had become a good enough person to look past it, at least for a moment.

_But can Sirius? Can he push past all that hatred?_ It wasn't that he was a bad person; I knew he wasn't, he was so rash, and stubborn.

I sighed out loud, packing my bag and leaving to go get a quick lunch before class.

I felt so weak, and terribly exhausted from the game we'd just played. I was convered in mud and sweat from head to toe as I dragged my feet to the Common Room. Normally, James trained us really hard, and that was painful enough, but the Quidditch game had literally landed two of ours in the Hospital Wing. I remembered my first Quidditch game at Hogwarts, it'd also been against Slytherin, but I'd been hit in the head by a bludger and passed out within the first twenty minutes.

This time, I'd made it through, but had been bashed many more times than I could count. The Slytherin team had been quite a bit more aggressive than a normal Hogwarts game approved of, but there was so much rain that it was difficult to even see them crashing into us.

According to the Flying Teacher, it looked like a complete harmless game.

_Completely harmless my ass._

Our two members in the Hospital Wing were Cassandra Brown, a fourth year who just so happened to be our seeker, and Christopher Hobbinson, our keeper. They both also happened to be muggle-born.

Needless to say, it's almost impossible to win a Quidditch game without a seeker and a keeper. Slytherin ended up creaming us 360 to 40.

James was upset, and tried to argue with Mister Heiner, the Flying teacher, but since he didn't actually see anything he wasn't able to do anything. Professor McGonagall, on the other hand, was furious, and gave every Slytherin team member detention and docked points.

Still, it felt completely wrong. I hated that it was so easy to get away with something like that, no matter what the weather. The "Junior Death Eaters" were now tormenting students at Hogwarts of muggle-born status. If there wasn't a teacher in sight, there was always someone being picked on. You-Know-Who was gaining power everyday, both in and outside of Hogwarts.


	32. Not a Fairytale

Lily and I were sat right on the edge of the Black Lake, enjoying one of the nicest days in months. Even though we were already closing in on the end of April, the weather had hardly gotten any warmer until a just little while ago, and it seemed like the storms were never ending. It had always rained a lot in Scotland and England, but it'd never stormed quite so much as it did now.

Besides that, it was a rare warm and sunny day today, so we were taking as much advantage of it, and the less-crowded lake. Most NEWT and OWL students had been forced to stay inside to study for their quickly approaching exams. For once, I was very happy to be sixth year, because we were still older students, but we had no serious examinations to worry about. Not that that stopped Lily from studying her butt off, and forcing me to study with her.

"What does… _Anapneo_ do?" Lily quizzed me as I lied down onto the cool ground.

I hesitated for a moment, trying to think, "uh… you use it when, like, someone's choking?" I guess I hadn't been reviewing as much as I should have been.

Lily nodded a bit, "basically. It clears the person's airway." She flipped through a book that was opened in her lap, but she ended up glancing near the other side of the lake. I looked too, and noticed she had glanced where the "Snape incident" had happened last year. Coincidentally, it also happened to be the current seating area of the other Marauders.

I sighed a bit, deciding not to mention it as Lily reverted her gaze back to her book, scrambling through pages. Just a little bit ago, it had been James' seventeenth birthday, and there was cake, some dancing, some inappropriate games (after the younger kids had been sent to their rooms), and even some smuggled firewhiskey (that was confiscated). Overall, it had been a good celebration; even Lily had had fun, so I guess she's forgiven him. Whenever I mentioned James to her though, she'd would always get flustered, and change the topic really quickly or abruptly.

"_So you've forgiven James?" _

"_Uh, James, right. Well-I- yeah. Yeah, I suppose-"_

"_So… Yes?" _

"_Well, it's a tad complicated, oh I don't know. Hey Annabeth! I need a word with you! See you, Izzy!" _

Honestly, it was getting kind of strange, but I normally didn't push it. Lily's business with James was her business. Plus, I can't really build him up for her without talking about the full moon incident back in January, which wasn't an option.

Anyway, my own birthday, along with Remus', was just a few weeks ago, Lily's had been in January, and Sirius had turned seventeen way back in October. Peter still had to wait till June though, poor soul.

So now, we were counted as adults in the Wizarding World. It was strange, but I felt free, and a bit scared. We'd all been forced to realize that the war isn't ending any time soon, and we eventually we were all going to have to choose a side. Either "the dark side" or "the light side," nothing else. No other options. Some people had already chosen, such as Sirius, who by moving in with James chose the light side, and many Slytherins had chosen You-Know-Who's side.

Honestly, it scared the hell out of me to think that one day, maybe in a little more than a year, we'd be fighting people we'd gone to school with for years.

"He's staring at you, you know," Lily interrupted my thoughts, and I frowned in confusion.

"What? Who?"

"Sirius. He's been watching you for a few minutes, "Lily nodded his way, and I instantly turned my head. She had been right, he was watching me, quite intently, but he turned away once I looked. I could feel a flutter in my stomach, whether that be from excitement or nerves or whatever other messed-up emotion I was feeling.

"Izzy." I'd accidentally started staring off into space again and turned to Lily, sitting up to give her my full attention.

"Sorry, sorry, yeah?" I snapped out of it.

"What's going on between you and Sirius? You two have been… Strange for quite a while," she tried to think of how long, but I knew perfectly well.

In the past few months, my relationship with Sirius hadn't gotten much better, maybe even worse. Every time I felt myself getting close to him again, my mind shut it off. I thought about all the irresponsible things and choices he'd made, and couldn't remember what I loved about him. Whenever I spoke to him, I found myself getting upset with him all over again. I couldn't understand why I couldn't just forget it already.

I sighed a bit, "I… I'm not sure. It's complicated." It was a stupid, typical answer, but that was really all I could say.

Lily raised her eyebrow a bit, nodding slowly, and I could see her looking back to the boys. "Just so strange since…" her voice drew out, which made me frown. I got the feeling she wasn't just talking about Sirius and me anymore, which gave me a small chill, so I chose to ignore it, looking back to the water.

Just a week later, I found myself sitting in the library to myself. I'd came to get myself to focus on studying a bit, or catching up on the homework I'd been pushing off, but I couldn't get myself to concentrate. It was storming, yet again, which made the whole room feel dreary.

"Hey, mind some company?"

I shook my head, hardly glancing at the person sitting in the chair next to me. The rain was beating down on the windows, making a small frown form on my lips. I got myself to turn to Sirius, who was reading through a muggle magazine. My eyes focused on the little crease in his forehead as he intently read the article. It included some motorcycle parts and how the engine works, but honestly it just confused me completely.

He looked up at me, and he smiled for a moment, but it just seemed to melt away almost instantly. His facial expression made my heart sink slightly, so I sparked up some conversation.

"What're you doing in the library?" I asked, picking at the spine of a leather book on the table.

Sirius shrugged, "just looking for something. Someone." He was talking about me, which just made my heart sink even farther into my chest. I nodded, trying to act really interested in his magazine now.

"You know, if you live in the Wizarding World there'll be no reason for a muggle motorcycle," I noted, motioning to the photo. He shrugged, and a small smile formed on his lips.

"I've got other plans in mind with it," his face was a little smug, like he knew some big secret, but it made him look like the old Sirius.

"I haven't seem that smirk for quite some time," I commented, grinning a bit now. This made him smile and shrug.

"I haven't seen that smile for quite some time," he replied, and I chuckled, nodding.

"Fair enough."

The chuckling died down, and we were left with a silence. It wasn't uncomfortable like normally, but kind of comforting. Our eyes were staring into each other's, the smiles fading very slowly. It was one of those perfect moments; when it felt like we were the only people in the whole world. The perfect fairytale moment.

But, of course, my life isn't a fairytale, and both of us snapped out of it at the same time. We were just centimeters away now, just in kissing distance, when we both pulled back. His large, warm hand was covering mine on the table, but it left my hand, leaving a lonely cold feeling.

The two of us cleared our throats.

"I'm sorry-"

"No, I shouldn't have."

"No, no, it was my fault."

"We can't rush this anymore."

And then we scurried off in different directions, scrambling with fake excuses we both knew were false, but still felt the need to say. Here I was, just a little earlier complaining that he'd never grow up, and being very close to snogging him silly. I was so weak when it came to him.

That, is why "being in love" completely screws you over. With love, you become the idiot you always promised yourself you wouldn't be.


	33. Never Let Go

"I just can't get him off my mind," I complained to Lily as I banged my head against the wall. "He's just always there."

Lily sighed in exasperation and pulled my head away from the stone. "Then just bloody date him or whatever you want to do with him!"

I gave her a look. "Thank you, Lilian. And it's just when I'm with him! When I'm not I realize how childish and irresponsible he is, but I see his eyes, and his muscles, and his shaggy hair…" I zoned off, thinking about all my favorite qualities of Sirius.

Lily rolled her eyes and snapped in my face, "you've gone mad."

I groaned as we continued our walk to Transfiguration. I'd become the exact person I vowed I never would be: someone who obsesses over some guy and lets it mess with her head.

But the thing was, he wasn't just _some guy_, and I feared he never would be.

"Just try to focus in class today or McGonagall is going to give you detention," Lily reminded and I bit my lip, nodding obediently. "She's been in a bad mood ever since we lost to Slytherin."

I scowled a bit, thinking back to our last game. We'd been close to winning the Quidditch Cup, first time since we were first years, and they played dirty. the game, McGonagall had been in an even stricter mood (if that was possible), especially to those of us on the team, and not to mention James.

James too had been in a bad mood ever since the game. As the captain this year, he just wanted to prove himself as a leader and not just the amazing chaser he was. I could already feel the mud and aching in my bones at the thought of practices next year.

We sat down at our table, just minutes before the class started. Sirius was already in there with Remus and Peter, which would have been strange if he hadn't been coming to classes early since December. He used to always just stride in with James at almost the last moment, or when the teacher was walking in, but not anymore. Lily had pointed this out a little while back.

_We were chatting about the Hogsmeade trip coming up that weekend as we walked into Defense Against the Darks Art class. Lily was excited because some older boy in Ravenclaw asked her for a walk around the shrieking shack. ("Well that obviously means he just wants to have a reason to hold my hand! Even if it's probably not actually haunted.") _

_I was nodding along, chuckling a bit to more humorous statements, as I sat down in my seat. Two tables away from me were three of the male Marauders, including Sirius. He'd been coming into classes early lately, and it weirded me out a bit. _

"_He's here on time-again," Lily whispered to me after glancing in Sirius' direction. _

_I nodded, "it's so strange. I've never seen him care so much about school other than Quidditch." _

_Lily hummed softly, "I think he's trying to impress you." I raised my eyebrow at her. _

"_You're kidding, right? We've barely spoken for weeks." _

"_Hence the reason he's trying to impress you." _

It hadn't left my mind since. Lately, I was so gaga over Sirius that he really didn't need to impress me anymore, as bad as it sounds, but still, here he was. Another motive could be that he wants to get on with his studies and get a good career, but Sirius was already really smart. He was particularly gifted in DADA, Transfiguration, and Charms, not that anyone really knew that.

I shook my head, realizing I was staring into air near him and focused on Professor McGonagall who had begun speaking about our lesson today.

I kicked at a piece of grass on the ground, dragging my feet along as I walked to the center of the Quidditch Pitch. My final exam had been a few hours before, but the OWL and NEWT students were still testing, giving the whole school grounds a quiet vibe. It felt good, but also a bit sad to know that our sixth year was so close to being finished. Only one year at Hogwarts to go, and then that'd be it. We'd all be out in the world, alone, and probably scared, in just a year.

I laid down, right in the middle of the field. It felt like being surrounded by an empty dome, peaceful, but also a bit lonely. I was utterly tranquil.

That is, until a snowball hit me right, smack in the face.

The sound that erupted out of my throat was hardly natural, but the cold, soggy, snowball caught me by surprise. _Especially_, since it was already the beginning of summer and definitely not cold enough to produce a snowball. I'd jumped up, wiping the now melted water off of my face.

Once I stopped shrieking, I heard a bit of laughing, turning to see the one and the only, Sirius Orion Black.

I scoffed. I should've known that a snowball would only be from him. I pulled out my wand and produced my own as he watched me, with that same damn smirk he wore to drive me insane.

We both knew that if I threw it at him, he'd easily step to the side and it'd miss him, but making the snow wasn't the only reason I took my wand out. Being the lover of revenge I was, I quickly and very quietly bewitched the snowball to chase Sirius and threw it, hitting him straight in the face when he sidestepped.

He stuck out his tongue a bit. "I thought that was long overdo," he grinned at me, which just made me smile back. It had been long overdo.

"I thought they were gone forever," I admitted, twirling my wand in my hands as he walked closer to me.

"Never. If I ever go another year without having a snowball fight with you, you can throw me in Azkaban yourself." He sat down where I was normally laying, and I did the same next to him.

I smirked, "that's a pretty big promise."

He shook his head. "I think I'll always want to make you happy, and that makes you happy." It felt out of the blue, but something in his tone made me think he was really saying what he meant. It wasn't a pick-up line, or him trying to impress me, it was just what he wanted.

I nodded, "I want to make you happy too."

"Does that mean you'll always be honest with me?" Sirius asked after a few silent moments. The question hit me by surprise, and I instantly thought of an incident that happened just last week.

"_Well, well, well. If it isn't my brother's lovely half-breed." _

_I froze in mid-step, praying to Merlin that he meant half-blood. Turning around, I saw Regulus Black leaning against the wall in the shadow. If he was a bit taller and had longer hair, he could have probably tricked me into thinking he was Sirius. _

"_What do you want, _Regulus_?" my voice was pure venom as I spoke to just about my least favorite person at Hogwarts. I'd had run-ins with the younger Black before, but they were never pleasant. Every time we ended up "chatting" there were spells thrown, and even though he was a year younger than me, his magic was powerful. _

"_I've just heard that you've been getting cozy with my lousy brother again, and want to make sure he's not losing his sense," he explained, trying to be calm, but the hatred in his voice slipped out. _

"_My relationship with Sirius is none of your business. He's not even apart of your messed-up family, thank Merlin. He got out of that just in time, unlike you." I hated that punk so much. _

"Uh- yeah, sure, of course," I stammered out a bit too quickly, but his gray eyes stared into mine.

He nodded, but it was obvious he didn't believe me one bit.

"_Well then, if you'd rather not talk about my brother, let's talk about _yours_. How is the ol' freak getting on? Oh, and your mudblood friend too!" he was crossing the line with me, and he knew it. Whenever he started talking about my friends, and especially Remus, it just made me angrier. _

"_What about your little Death Eater cronies? Still stealing quills from muggle-born first years?" I mocked back, but I was about to blow. _

"_Oh, they're lovely. Especially Severus, you know. He loves talking about you guys. Always had interesting information on you Gryffindors." And then he smirked. That same smirk Sirius does, but with an evil glare in his gray eyes, so unlike Sirius. That smirk boiled my blood. _

Sirius watched me and I tried to look around for something interesting to stare at. "Izzy, are you seriously not going to mention your little "chat" with my brother?"

I bit my lip, looking at him with a bit of my hair in my face, which he softly pushed behind my ear. I looked into his eyes, almost the exact same that Regulus had.

"_Shut up, Regulus. You have no right to speak about my friends or brother, and especially not Sirius. People like you are the disgrace to the Wizarding World, not us. And we will see to it that you all rot in Azkaban all your lives." _

_In a flash, Regulus' wand was out, and he was saying _Stupefy_! Just before the spell hit me I made a shield and the curse reflected back to him. He was expecting this and jumped out of the way, already throwing another curse at me. _

_It went back and forth, spell after spell, but neither of us had yet to be hit. We were both yelling out insults in hopes of distracting our opponent, but that never worked with the two of us. _

_Unknown to who cast it, Regulus was hit with a body-binding curse and I was able to catch my breath. I was covered in sweat, and there were cuts over me, but I was all right until I was blasted back into the wall. _

_I never actually found out who had attacked me, but I could imagine it was a "junior Death Eater", but I was awakened by James bringing me to the hospital. Apparently, when he was walking back from dinner, he found me deserted, lying against the wall. I told him what happened, and he was of course angry, but I made him promise not to tell anyone. Most importantly, not tell Sirius. _

"How d'you know?" I picked at some grass.

"He bragged about it to me, of course. Mysteriously, you'll see a very blackened eye sporting him during lunch today," Sirius informed, making me crack a smile, but the air wasn't cheery.

"I'm sorry. It's just something we're going to have to be used to eventually… We're going to have to fight them. A lot more than we do now."

When there was no reply, I looked a Sirius, and he just looked… Sad. This was his brother, someone he probably played with when he was little, and he would eventually have to really fight him? Maybe even kill him? It was a lot to handle.

"Come on. We've only got a few days left of our sixth year, let's go make trouble," Sirius finally said, standing up and grabbing my hand to pull me. We made our way across the pitch, in direction of the magnificent castle.

He never did let go of my hand.


	34. A Promise

_No more sappiness, Izzy. There's a bloody war going on. _

I had to remind myself, again, to stop thinking about Sirius. It was seriously starting to get annoying. As much as I thought Sirius was amazing and all, the more I thought about him and his perfect features, the more I became pissed off at him _and _myself.

"Focus, Lupin," I mumbled to myself as I pointed my wand at a leaf. "_Incendio._" It burst into flames and the ashes floated to the ground. It was the last night of school year, just before the goodbye feast. It felt strange, knowing how close our final year was coming, knowing that we'd have to live and fend for ourselves in the world.

I didn't know whether I liked the idea of my future or not, but that might just be because of the war, and the fact that it's a very minimal chance for Remus or me to keep stable jobs. Everyday felt like it was ticking away, fear and excitement stirring more and more. I should be happy that I'm almost a seventh year, but I don't think I actually am.

I glanced at my watch, quarter past five, and rolled my eyes a bit. _He's late_. I lit a rock on fire and blew it up.

At one point, I accidentally started a small fire, which I had to take out with lake water, when James came jogging.

"Sorry, I was trying to think of Quidditch plays and time got the best of me," he explained, and I stuck my tongue out at him as he laughed at my small fire.

"Shut up and sit down," I ordered once I watered down the flame and ground. He sat down and I sat next to him.

It wasn't really a planned meeting, but we both agreed that neither had talked to the other personally in quite some time, and this would be our last chance for a while.

"I can't believe we're going home tomorrow," James announced, staring wistfully at the lake. I nodded, looking a bit sad myself.

"But we do have another year," I inserted, trying to make the conversation a bit more optimistic. James smiled at me, nodding.

"You're right; another year of magic and Hogwarts. And we'll have to leave a huge legacy, so kids will be talking about the Marauders when our kids go here," James daydreamed, but he was being sincere in his wish.

I chuckled, "yeah, kids. You and Lily would make an adorable baby." I glanced up at James, who blushed just a tad, but it went away as quickly as it came.

"She'll choose me if she wants to," James said. He'd been spending much less time trying to impress Lily by actually doing things _that impressed _her. The bullying and the harsh pranks stopped, and he was even focusing on his schoolwork a little bit. "You and Sirius would have nice kids," he added in a teasing tone.

"I doubt I'll ever have kids," I admitted, staying away from Sirius completely. "I'd never want to give my condition to someone else-anyone else," I mumbled quietly, but he heard me.

James was silent for a moment; "you need more fun in your life. You should practice Quidditch more often." His tone was completely serious, but it was a joke, and in that moment I found it hilarious.

He grinned as I laughed, "c'mon, we've got to get the feast before Peter eats all our food." James pulled me up by my hand and we began walking.

"But I don't want to see Hufflepuff win," I complained, and he scowled a bit.

Thanks to some of us losing quite a bit of house points this year, Hufflepuff had the most and everyone knew it. Along with us losing the Quidditch Cup, this was a close second in the cruddy department.

We chatted as we walked, just joking and also saying what we loved most about the year. The whole year had been hard, especially on the five of us, and we were finally getting over it all. No, I wasn't dating Sirius, but I had reinstated my position as a Marauder, and honestly, it felt pretty amazing. It was in that journey to the Great Hall with James, that I really felt all the drama and worry melt away. We were still students, we were still friends, and we were family.

Cheesy, I know, but I deserve it once in awhile.

Anyway, Peter did end up eating a portion of our food (those poor House Elves that had to make more), but we had a grand time. Violetta and Fabian were graduating, madly in love, but they had been very discreet about what they would be doing. We knew that they both were going to work in the Ministry, Fabian in Law Enforcement, and Vi in the Auror department, but other than that, nothing. They tended to change the subject quickly after any of us mentioned it, but it was just as quickly forgotten.

Gideon was sad to see his beloved brother leave school, but he'd recently started dating a girl in Hufflepuff so he wasn't too bent out of shape. The rest of us, Lily, Peter, Remus, James, Sirius, and me were all just enjoying our final night as sixth years.

We all stayed up a bit longer than usual in the common room, as almost every seventh year sat by the fire. The sixth of us chose to sit in an empty couch in the corner, as to not disturb the last night at Hogwarts for the others. At first, there was nothing we could think to share, until out of the blue, Peter said:

"My dream is to be Minister of Magic, someday."

The rest of us shared looks between each other, some of us trying not to laugh. _I mean, Peter? Minister of Magic? _

"Um, Pete," James began, but Peter stopped him.

"I know; I'm scared of my own shadow, but there's something about being Minister that seems exciting. It's just my biggest dream," he finished, and that gave the rest of us courage.

"I'd love to be a Healer," Lily admitted, "I really want to help people."

"I'd love be an Auror… Or captain of the British national Quidditch team," James added cheekily.

"I'd love to be an author, or maybe even an auror," Remus whispered a bit, making me grin.

Sirius and I locked eyes for a moment.

"I'd love to make magical medicines for "incurable" conditions," I hesitantly contributed, watching Lily for any type of reaction. She just smiled, nodding, so I let it go.

We all watched Sirius, and he opened his mouth to speak, watching me, "I'd love to be… A magical transportation expert- flying motorcycles, more specifically." We all chuckled a bit, and he made his signature smirk.

The night went on, and eventually our group dissembled to bed, so only two of us were left. Yes, it was Sirius and I, of course.

I chuckled awkwardly, "so… Excited for summer?"

He smiled a bit, watching the floor; "I'm getting a flat soon, hopefully not more than a week from now. It'll be nice not to have to feel like a burden on the Potter's."

I scoffed a bit, "you've never been a burden-not to anyone." He looked at me a bit, his shaggy hair blocking his eyes from mine. "Really. Not even when you showed up at my house last summer."

He smiled, "thanks for that again, I really didn't know if you'd open the window or not." I laughed and somehow the two of us ended up closer to each other, sitting hip to hip against the wall.

"Promise I always will, cross my heart."

His face was moving closer to mine, and my body was moving closer to his. "Izzy…" His hand was tracing my cheek, and the hairs on the back of my neck pierced up. "I'm so sorry." Our faces were so close now, I could feel his jagged breath on my face, and I could hear his heart thumping, just as rapidly as mine was. "I just bloody love you so much."

Finally, it was a real picture perfect moment. The fire crackled in the background, and the common room was completely empty, but it honestly wouldn't have mattered. In that kiss, I felt fireworks, meteor showers, rainbows, all of it. He was all I needed in the moment, and Sirius was all I wanted.

Finally, I loved him, and he loved me again.


	35. Specialty

I flipped through a copy of _Witch Weekly_ as I lounged on the couch. Personally, I didn't really care for the gossip magazine, but it was interesting enough as I waited.

Just as I was reading the "how to and how to not wear a cauldron as a headpiece (_don't _use an actual iron cauldron,_ do _use feathers to accessorize), when a familiar figure plopped down next to me.

Sirius smirked as he took the magazine out of my hands, reading the article, "well, I think you'd look absolutely fit in a cauldron hat." I glared at him, but he only retaliated in pulling me up against his side and kissing me.

Unfortunately, I was unable to resist his kiss, and felt that irritating smile form back on my lips. I tried my best at an annoyed voice, "we're already late."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Just tell them I was too busy fixing my hair or whatever," he suggested as he pulled me in closer.

"Sirius, we used that excuse last time. They're going to start suspecting something's up sooner or later," I tried to explain, making my best attempt to stand up, but honestly, all I wished to do that day was to hang out at his flat.

He grumbled, "Then let them bloody figure it out, if it means I can be alone with you for more than ten minutes," but as he said it, he stood up with me.

I pecked his lips, "we'll tell them eventually, but after all that happened over the past year, we need to let it set in. And Remus would probably never let me come over alone to get you if he knew that I didn't find you completely repulsing anymore." This time, I smirked as he glared, and thus we went.

We walked through the muggle street on which Sirius' flat was located on. Both of us preferred the area because A. we could hold hands without the fear of anyone seeing us, and B. almost all Black family members would burn at the stake before coming here.

To get the James' house, our destination, we had to walk 4 blocks down through muggle London, and then get to the Leaky Caldron. Technically, if Sirius really wanted to, he could just use the fireplace at his flat for floopowder, but we kept that a secret too. Since both of us are seventeen, we also came up with the lie that I hated apparating so we simply _had _to floopowder everywhere.

The sky was dreary, more than usual anyway. Random deaths, the Prime Minister going missing. Chaotic storms. Things were falling apart, and it felt like the beginning of the end.

The Leaky Caldron was dark and eerily quiet, and the formally cheery bartender jumps whenever someone walks in. Diagon Alley was the same, if not worse, and if you weren't a pureblood, it was the best idea not to go. The war had hit London hard, and Muggles were suspecting something.

There were happy matters, of course. Vi and Fabian had been married just the other day, and we were all invited to the intimate gathering. It was small, but it felt so nice just to have something to look forward to.

When asked why they were getting married so young, Vi answered, "well, as aurors, we may not get a chance to later. So why not now?"

I glanced up at Sirius who'd just squeezed my hand, "yeah?"

"We've got to the floopowder, and you won't let go of my hand," he answered, looking at me, confused.

"Oh, right," I nodded and let go as he gestured me to the fireplace. I grabbed a handful of floopowder and was spinning my way to James'. As I watched Sirius' face spin out of sight, I couldn't help but wonder about the wedding.

Sirius and I had only just gotten back together the night before the train ride home, and it was only July. We'd been together barely a month, but how long would we have left?

As much as I'd hate to admit it, I truly believed I loved Sirius. I was only 17, and I thought that love that young didn't exist, but I've seen the way James and Lily look at each other, as much as they wish no one did. Sirius and I look at each other the same way, and he makes me feel… Good. But would I do if I ever lost him?

_Shut it, Izzy. You're 17. You still have a year at Hogwarts. You don't have to think about this, you're still a student, so act like one. _

But there was the war, and I was scared.

_THUMP._

And there I was, sprawled on the floor of James' living room, just like so many times before.

"Seriously, Izzy, are you ever _not _going to do that?" James asked, laughing as he pulled me up.

"Hopefully, but doubtful," I groaned as I rubbed my rear end. In the room were also Remus and Peter, and I couldn't help but smile.

I opened my mouth in greeting as Sirius flew in, just a bit more gracefully than I did, but nonetheless, ran into me. As I held him up, Remus chose the perfect moment to comment, "You're late, again."

I swallowed down a blush and quickly let go of Sirius, "lots of people, you see."

Thankfully, there was no more mention of our tardiness and the five of us went out to the backyard to play a planned game of Quidditch.

"So no Lil this time?" I asked James while we walked, and his face flashed a bit of disappointment.

"She said she doesn't like to fly," he answered, and his face looked distraught.

I bit my lip, feeling a bit guilty and encouraged, "well the, you can teacher her when we get back to Hogwarts!"

He perked up a bit, and the rest of us laughed. James got 5 brooms out of his shed, passing them around.

"So, Moony's keeper between those two trees, and it's me and Wormtail against Scars and Pads," James ordered, explaining that since Sirius and I were kind of cruddy chasers (receiving a "hey!" from the both of us") we'd balance them out since Peter was simply terrible at Quidditch.

As we began, the game was friendly and lighthearted, with all of us joking around and teasing each other.

"Hey Moony, are you okay with this? You're not having reading withdrawals yet, right?"

"Hey lovebirds, stop eye-snogging and get in the bloody game!"

"You do know that the objective is to catch the Quaffle, right Wormy?"

But as the game and dark weather progressed, as did out competiveness. It ended up being just bit rough, even with James almost being thrown off his broom by James (don't even get me started). By the end, we were all bruised and sore, but we played until James finally won with 200 points.

"Well obviously you won, you're the actual chaser!" I complained, rubbing my shoulder as we walked back into the house.

"Oh, you're just mad that you fell into a little bit of mud," James replied back, limping slightly.

"You mean, when you pushed her into the mud," Sirius added, fixing a cut on his arm.

"Oh just shut it, you three! We get it, you like Quidditch," Peter yelled; he was still a bit irritated by _slightly_ broken nose.

"I said I was sorry, " I mumbled, crossing my arms.

"Seems to be a specialty of yours, aye, Iz?" Remus smirked at me, despite his own bruised stomach.

I glared until I couldn't resist but laughing, remembering how I punched Sirius in the nose the first time I met him. Soon enough, all five of us were laughing, even Sirius who tried to look angry for a moment, but couldn't resist either. It felt good, to laugh with my best friends. It felt like it hadn't really happened in ages.

As it was already past midnight, we all went to go get cleaned up and then ended up eating a bunch of food Mrs. Potter had left us. After that, it was obvious that we all were just about ready to pass out, and just went to bed.

Getting into bed, I thought about how different my mood was compared to earlier that day. I was still scared, but I had this feeling of content that overwhelmed me. I loved these guys like a brother, well, except Sirius of course.

There was an almost silent knock on my door, and I frowned. "Um, hello?" I answered and Sirius quickly opened the door and tiptoed towards me, closing the door was silently as possible.

"Sirius, what are you doing?," I asked, trying not to laugh at how worried he looked.

"I was so nervous Remus would catch me, I swear," he ignored my question, getting into my bed next to me.

"Yeah, 'cause you were on your way to sneaking into bed with his sister. Again, what are you doing?" I pushed, and he smirked a bit.

"I just figured that since this is probably one of the only nights we'll be in the same house, you'd let me sleep next to you." He was genuinely smiling now, not smirking, which made me give in.

"Fine, fine, but no funny business," I warned and we laid down next to each other. "And, if we somehow get caught, I'm completely blaming it on you."

I turned out the light before he could say anything, and kissed him to shut him up. With that, we both fell asleep in the most romantically, disgusting way.


	36. Goodbye and Hello

I woke up peacefully. _It was one of those mornings where you can tell you didn't sleep in too late, nor got up too early, and instead of opening your eyes, you just stretch and lie there, enjoying the moment. _

_That is, until you open your eyes to see your brother looking down at you. _

I yelped, falling straight out of bed. "Remus! What in Merlin's name are you doing?" I screeched, tangled in my blanket that had fallen on the floor around me.

Typically, Remus laughed as he helped pull me up, "Mum and Dad told me to make sure you woke up in time. It's our first day of Hogwarts." My eyes widened a bit with realization, and I couldn't suppress the look of disappointment on my face. We were officially seventh years. _This would be our last first day. Ever. _

Remus sighed in exasperation, "Iz, come on. I know you love Hogwarts, but we'll be fine! We still have a whole year left full of Dumbledore, terrible pranks, Quidditch, and not to mention, NEWTs!"

I had a lump in my throat, but swallowed it down and forced a grin, nodding. "You're completely right. Hogwarts! Magic! I'll be down in half an hour and meet you there so we can go."

Remus grinned, "I think that depends on when Mum and Dad want to leave." Before I could say anything, he walked out, and my fake smile grew into a real one. My parents hadn't escorted us to the train since we were second years and I'd just gone to Hogwarts, so this would be a really nice event.

I looked down at my partially packed suitcase and almost groaned out loud, running to the restroom to get ready, so I could get a chance to finish packing without being too late.

Ever since last summer, Remus and mine's relation with our parents had been getting better. Gradually, they stopped being so scared of us, and they finally came to terms with our condition. Well, as much as we could possibly have asked them to. But they were our parents, and they loved us, and we loved them, and that's what truly mattered.

As I brushed my hair and teeth simultaneously, I threw objects in my bathroom into a bag as quickly as I could. This resulted in getting toothpaste all over my hair when I accidentally switched the toothbrush and hairbrush, but that was about as chaotic as it got.

I rushed back into my room, throwing the bag into my suitcase, and got my wand from the nightstand, frantically levitating clothes and books into the trunk. I grinned as a hidden picture of Sirius and I flew across the room from its secret position under my pillow into my suitcase.

Finalizing the packing, I looked around the room, checking every place I could have forgotten something important. The truth was, I didn't plan on living in my parents' house ever again, and I wouldn't want to spend a long time packing in the future.

"Isabelle! It's time to leave, Love!" I heard my mother yell up the stairs and I let out a deep breath, clicking my locket around my neck.

"Coming!" I exclaimed back as I stared at my reflection in the mirror. I wouldn't say I looked that muh different than I did a few years ago, but I'd been through more. I'd been heartbroken, I'd been lied about, I'd been judged, I'd had my secret let out, I'd been inches away from killing someone, I'd been told secrets, and I'd fallen in love all over again.

I pushed my sleeve down a bit, making my bite mark visible to myself. I was no longer scared of it. I was scared of other things, but not that mark which I'd been emotionally running from for years. I wasn't running anymore.

I took another deep breath, grabbing my wand and broom, along with my trunk following behind me in midair.

At the end of the stairs, my family was waiting and as I stepped down to the bottom, I smiled. "Ready."

The goodbye was tougher than normal. After a summer of bonding with our parents, and coming to peace with each other, it actually felt very sad to know we wouldn't see them for a while.

We'd agreed that this year, we would come home for the holidays, and we would have a big muggle, family Christmas. Honestly, I didn't know how much of that was actually true, but it was nice to at least seem like we were a perfect little family.

Our mother cried; our father sniffled, and Remus and I were found in tight, loving hugs which brought comfort. I forgot about the war, as our small family embraced for a few moments. I even forgot about Sirius, and the future that would come. I just thought of the present, and how I would cherish that minute forever. There were no promises to write, no urges to stay safe, and nothing pertaining to that time of the month, but those few moments was the important part.

"Iz, let's go find the guys, we're late," Remus laughed and I smiled, following him through the train as he looked into the different compartments.

We passed a dozen wagons before finding Peter, James, and Sirius in one, in a small argument.

"Mate, you're officially a prat now," Sirius asserted, but in his usual very-cool manner.

"I'm not! I didn't even want it!" James retorted.

"Sirius, I think it's kind of cool…" Peter hesitantly added, and Sirius scoffed.

"Why don't you just give it back then? If you don't even want it," he challenged, and James looked a bit uncomfortable.

"Woah, woah, woah, what's going on in here?" Remus asked, which was much better than what I was going to say ("what are you blithering idiots on about now?").

James kept his mouth shut, looking a bit embarrassed, but Sirius had no trouble answering, "The infamous, pranking Prongs has been titled Head Boy this year."

Remus and I had quite a bit of trouble hiding the surprise on our faces, and frankly, we were both bloody speechless. We'd known Remus hadn't gotten Head Boy this year, but he remained a prefect and wasn't upset by the decision at all, but neither of us had known _James_ had been made Head Boy.

As James grew redder, Remus found his voice to speak, "James, that's fantastic. Congratulations!"

I quickly jumped in. "Yeah, Rems is right, I'm so happy for you. As should _everyone_ else," I hinted to Sirius, looking directly at him.

He still looked cross, but nevertheless muttered, "congratulations."

James still looked weary, but nonetheless relieved by most of our reactions, messing up his hair a bit more.

While he fidgeted with his hair, something clicked in my mind, "hey, didn't Lily make Head Girl this year?"

I could see him getting embarrassed again, but it forced the color away, and shrugged. "I guess so, I mean she's the only girl fit for the job, except you, of course," James smirked, bringing it back onto me and I rolled my eyes.

"Go do your duty, _Head Boy_," I replied, and was actually speaking truthfully since the train had already left the station.

Remus nodded to James, and the two of them went off to wherever they were meant to be meeting. I smirked a bit to myself, picturing Lily's face when she found out that James was now in partner in leading the school.

So then, it was Sirius, me… and Peter.

"So how was Australia, Pete?" I asked, sitting down next to Sirius, but not close enough to be touching.

He grinned, "It was fantastic, and sunny. Oh and Sirius, the babes there were so fit, you would've loved it." The comment couldn't help but irk me, but

Sirius was being good about it.

"But, honestly, it's about after-Australia that I would be interested about," Peter added, grinning as he looked down at his hands. "You know that sixth year, Amber Lane in Hufflepuff? Well, I met ran into her the day after I got back, and we got to talking, and…" Peter smiled and shrugged, looking down at his watch. "Speaking of which, I've been meaning to meet her, but will the two of you be… Uh, okay, on your own?"

I almost laughed, but then remembered that earlier that year the pair of us had hardly been speaking. "Yeah, no, we'll be fine, Wormy," Sirius answered in a slightly aggravated tone, and Peter shot up, saying a quick bye and getting out.

I finally laughed, "Why are you so grumpy today?"

Sirius gasped dramatically, "I'm not grumpy! I just don't understand why James is taking a role of responsibility or why Peter has a girlfriend when I don't."

I stuck my tongue out at him at the last part, but rolled my eyes. "Leave James alone, he's been good lately, and I think he'll finally get a chance with Lily."

Sirius huffed and pulled me in by my waist, pulling the small window curtain down on the compartment doors with his wand. "But will I get any chances with you now? Everyone's always going to be on our arses here," he complained, and I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes again.

"We'll make time alone, I promise. Do you really want to tell them now?" I asked, biting my lip. Sirius shook his head.

"Maybe it's just because I love you, and know you don't want to, but no, I don't want to tell them just yet. Maybe Christmas, like that first year?" Sirius suggested, referring to our Christmas at the Potter's involved a magical mistletoe and an almost kiss by Lily.

I grinned and shrugged, "we'll see when the time is right, and if it's all worked out till then." I didn't say it to be mean, or to say I didn't love him back, because I sure did. I said it because I really didn't know what was in store for us and if one of us would do something stupid to each other again and mess it all up. So, I kissed him.

In the midst of our kiss, Sirius whispered into my ear, "I would gladly work it out, for the rest of my life."


	37. I Guess

I groaned into my mug of tea, trying my best to not fall face forward into my waffle. I'd spent all of the night before trying to finish a twelve-page paper on the history of Dark Magic, but of course, I had had someone distracting me.

"Oh, Iz, it's one night. I'm really sorry, all right? I just couldn't sleep…" Sirius whispered to you, being careful even though the Great Hall was practically empty.

"So that meant I wasn't allowed to sleep?" I snapped at him, taking a sip of my tea.

He shrugged a bit, and played around with his food as I rubbed my temples. We were having a normal little couple spat, and everything he did and said was at the risk of pissing me off.

"Stop chewing so loudly, _please_," I muttered, keeping my eyes shut.

Sirius mumbled something I couldn't quite make out, but I had a pretty good guess as to what it was.

I opened my mouth to retort, turning to him, but luckily James sat in front of us before I said anything too rude.

"You're both up early… And Merlin, you guys look terrible," James commented, grabbing food and piling it onto his plate.

I glared, "that's a lot of food today, Prongs."

"Don't you remember? We have a mandatory Quidditch practice today during lunch, so our new keeper and seeker are ready for a mock game." I practically burst into flames right then and there, turning my head to Sirius.

"No… We didn't remember," I answered with gritted teeth; I'd been planning on spending lunch catching up on some sleep. Sirius beat food down with his fork on his plate, not meeting my glare.

"Woahhh, I'm sensing a little hostility," James chuckled, obviously amused with our grouchiness. "You guys have a lot of tension, that should help your beating." He grinned cheerily at the two of us.

"Shut it, James," Sirius muttered between bites, but that didn't take away any of his amusement.

"Well," James said, finishing his plate, "I've got Head Boy duties to do, see you two at practice. And remember guys, you're our beaters, we need you, so please, don't kill each other, kill the other teams." He laughed outwardly and jogged out of the Hall.

"He's a prat," Sirius said.

"Shut up."

"Miss Lupin, please stay after class for a moment."

_Dammit. _I suppressed a groan as the class packed its bags, students filing out in packs. I was so close to the weekend; Transfiguration was my last class of the day.

"Yes, Professor McGonagall?" I asked, stepping towards her desk.

"I have an extra list of spells I need you to learn," she stated, getting out a paper.

"Sorry?" I was dumbfounded.

"I need you to learn a list of spells," she repeated, staring at me blankly.

"Yes… But why?" Why didn't she just give the list to the class then? Why just me?

"I know that you and your little group are quite talented at Transfiguration. I thought you could learn the spells and pass it onto your friends. Or was I mistaken? Should you not be in my NEWT class?" she pursed her lips together, holding the list.

"No, of course not. I'd be, uh, happy to do it."

"Lovely." She handed me the paper, containing about a dozen spells, most looking like protection charms. "I'd like Potter, Mr. Lupin, Evans, Black… And yes, Pettigrew to be given that list. Then, I two weeks, you'll come in and I'll test if you know them all."

I nodded hesitantly, "is this extra credit, Professor? Because I'm not so sure Sirius-"

"Miss Lupin, just learn the spells. Have a good weekend," McGonagall began writing on a paper, completely ignoring me.

I got the hint, and left, reading over the list.

"McGonagall wants us to-"

"Yes, learn the damn spells," I interrupted Remus.

"And then test us on it?" Lily asked, frowning at the parchment.

"Ah bloody hell, I've got Quidditch to be training for, not doing extra credit," James complained.

"But McGonagall never said it was-"

"Do you think they expect You-Know-Who to come looking for us?" Peter asked, playing with his hands.

"Or they expect us to go looking for You-Know-Who."

We all went quiet. Sirius had said what we'd all been thinking. They were training us; that had to be it. We all knew it was coming, sooner or later. We all knew we were going to graduate and fight. We all knew we had three options. Hide, fight, or die.

"Well then. We'd all better learn them then," Lily stood up, trying her best to smile. "They all seem to be protection against smaller curses, so we can all meet up somewhere secluded outside and practice."

"Not tonight," James and I said at once. It was the full moon.

Lily chuckled a bit, with a knowing grin, "I never mentioned tonight. Saturday, after the game against Hufflepuff?"

We all agreed, and soon enough the group dissembled. James and Lily off to their duties, Remus off to read his book, and Peter off to… Wherever Peter goes.

"D'you think they know?" I asked, resting my head in Sirius' lap.

"About us?"

I nodded, "we always end up alone together…"

"I think that's more because they don't know, honestly. I think they expected us to never get together again after all that happened."

I nodded again. "Are you worried?"

Sirius hesitated, leaning his head back. "Um. I guess I am."

I couldn't help but snort, "you guess?"

He grinned a bit, shrugging, "not as much as I should be. I've known most Death Eaters since I was a baby."

I the inside of my cheek, watching his jaw muscles work.

"Did Regulus come back to school this year?"

Sirius swallowed. "I didn't see him, so I think not. Guess he's the pride and joy of the Black family, huh?"

I nodded, "I guess so. But you're still the pretty one."

He smirked and flipped his hair, "yeah, I am, aren't I? And you get to call me your boyfriend."

I smirked back, "I do, don't I? How lucky for me. Except, if you keep me up again tonight, I can't promise to be as nice as last time."

He rolled his eyes, standing up, pulling me behind. "Then I guess we better head back to the Tower, Werewolf."

"I guess so, Dog."


	38. Reality

"I can't believe that pass, Prongs!"

"I know, I was just so into it- I guess it was good luck."

"No, James, that was pure skill," Lily commented, making him go beet red.

The game against Hufflepuff had just ended, and we'd won by a tiny margin. Just before the Hufflepuff seeker had gotten the snitch, James had managed to swoop in and score the last 10 points we needed to win.

We all joked and some of us groaned (hey, it was a tough game) as we walked down to a secluded area on the eleventh floor.

"You sure we're allowed to do this?" Peter asked as Lily opened the door to an empty classroom.

"Hey, what are they going to do to Head Boy _and_ Head Girl? Besides, we have no other places to practice," James shrugged.

I heard Lily mumble something under her breath as the door opened and tried to make a mental note to ask her about it later, but to be quite honest, I was exhausted and probably would never remember to.

We walked in and I hopped onto a desk. The six of us, Peter, Remus, James, Sirius, Lily, and I, were all here in an empty classroom at three in the afternoon on a Saturday, planning to practice spells rather than celebrate our win. Somehow, we had been able to sneak out of the common room without anyone noticing our departure from the party. Sure, we all wanted to stay and bask in our house glory, but no, we had all promised to learn the spells, and so we would.

Remus and Lily went first… mostly because they were the only ones who actually learned all the spells beforehand, and they practiced some simple ones against each other. Stupefy, protego, expelliarmus, shielding spell. Over, and over again it went.

I tried my best to stay awake the whole time, knowing that these spells were important building blocks to the real thing, but admittedly, I dozed off a few times. Once I may have even fallen off the desk, but luckily Sirius caught me before I hit the ground.

We split up into pairs, going against each other, Sirius and me, James and Lily, Remus and Peter. Sirius and I were pretty equal in our dueling, both of us being much better at offensive than defensive spells. James was great at all of it, not surprisingly, and Lily was better at shielding spells, but had an amazing knack for the Expelliarmus charm. Remus was really impressive, looking like he'd been dueling his whole life… Peter we're not going to talk about.

"_Mutatio Skullus_!" I pointed at Sirius, and his beautiful face started doubling, and he ended up with three heads. I bit my lip not to laugh, but he hit me with tail-growing hex, and well, you can guess what happened.

The two of us glared at each other, trying very hard not to laugh, but all six of us heard a noise, and immediately the room hushed.

"Severus, I heard something! Laughing or something."

"Macnair, you heard nothing, now shut up. Tell me about what he said he wants us to do," Snape replied.

"Fine… We're supposed to find this Mudblood…" The voices drifted down the hallway, and all of us were left staring around the room. Lily and I made eye contact from across the room, but no one did anything.

"I think that's enough practice for today, it's supper time, and if we're not there that'll be too obvious," Remus said into the silence, and we all quickly put the room back together and made our way to the dining hall.

"Oh well, well, well, if it isn't my least favorite Lupin," Gwen looked at me in disgust, and I looked back with venom.

"Could you just ignore me, really? You used to do it so well," I stomped over to my bed, putting my Quidditch uniform back in my shelf.

"But it's so much less fun that way! See, Gwenny here was just telling me about her snogging your brother just at the last party" Cathy intercepted, smirking as I slowed my packing.

"Oh really? I'm sure it was right when you were snogging Sirius," I smirked right back and she glared. Obviously she too remembered our encounter with her lying last year.

Quickly, Cathy released her glare and rolled her eyes, "oh _please_, Sirius is old news now that you've tainted him; he's been _so _boring as of late."

I smiled as I put away my things, but just slightly so they wouldn't be able to tell.

"You know Isabelle, we've actually been talking, and we think it's about time we make a truce," Gwen said, and my eyebrows shot up as I turned to them.

"Huh?"

Gwen elbowed Cathy when she looked reluctant, "uh yeah, yeah. What with the war going on, we just think it's about high time this whole 'thing' ends."

"Why would you want to hold a truce?" I asked, looking at her skeptically.

"Look, it's way more Gwen than me. I mean, I'm not saying we should be friends or anything, I mean, Merlin no, you don't even know how to clean mud off yourself before you walk in, but yeah, a truce. Some things are more important than petty fighting, and it's not like I like Sirius anymore, so what's the point?" Cathy looked sincere enough despite the insult.

But of course, the first thing that popped out of my mouth was "I don't like Sir-"

"Oh stop it, I've seen the way you two look at each other. You're so smitten it's disgusting, but again, who cares? Have we got an agreement?"

I swallowed and nodded, sticking out my hand to her, still looking kind of confused. "No more fighting… We're done."

Cathy sort of smiled, not fully, but nevertheless more than I had ever received.

After the exchange, I went to go meet Lily at the library and the thoughts flooded my mind. Of course, there were the suspicions that Cathy could have been lying to get me off my guard, but even to me that sounded like a lot of unnecessary work. I mean, Cathy wasn't evil, sure, she hated me, but she wasn't a bad person. It'd never occurred to me that we were all going to be fighting a greater cause, together. Those people I'd never particularly liked, heck, even those people who were downright rude to me, most of us were going to be fighting together. _Dying together_. The world wasn't split into the good and the bad, of course not. Everyone had a little bit of something in him, and that's okay.

This revelation occurred to me as I stepped into the library, quite pleased with myself.

"We can't keep practicing in that room, people are starting to get suspicious," I complained as our group whispered in the common room. "Every time, there are people who walk by, and it's a matter of time before someone figures out we're in there."

"Well then, where should we do it?" Lily asked, and the Remus and I locked eyes.

_Well? Do you think it's time?_

_Izzy, she's one of our best friends… I'd trust Lily with my life._

_But, what if… _

"Izzy! Remus! Hello?" Lily snapped at us, and I looked at her in shock.

"Sorry…"

Remus took a deep breath and he whispered so much his voice was barely audible, "look, Lily, there's something we really need to tell you…"

All five of us marauders looked nervously at each other, but I continued. "Lily, Remus and I are-"

"I know."

"Look, no, you don't understand, we're-"

"I know, guys."

"No, I don't think you do-"

"Merlin guys! You're werewolves, I know!"

All of us shut our mouths and frowned, staring at her. Lily looked like she was about to laugh, like it had been the most obvious thing in the world.

"Wait, what?"

Lily sighed in exasperation, "your mother only ever gets 'sick' on the full moon, has for six years. You always look sickly pale, and injured whenever the next morning comes. You guys always act mysterious and strange only on _one _night out of the whole month, and you've got scars all over yourselves. We've been good friends for a while now, these things don't go unnoticed"

We all looked flabbergasted, coming to realization how obvious it really had been.

"Oh, and not to mention, Remus' nickname is Moony. That's kind of a dead give-away."

"Right… So… The Shrieking Shack it is then," James concluded, still looking as confused as the rest of us.


	39. Snogging

"What do you mean, chaser is more important than beater? You'd be dead without us!" Sirius yelled at James. It was a pretty usual argument we had, usually occurring after a bad practice. Sirius and I obviously thought beaters were _way _more important, and James thought chasers were. Today, our practice had been even worse than usual, so the argument was getting pretty heated.

"You're a bloody idiot. Who actually makes the _points_? We could make do without beaters," James retorted, scowling.

"Uhm, _excuse me?_ Let's see how well you 'make do' when we don't protect you from bludgers during the next practice!" I threatened, staring daggers at him. In the corner of my eye, I could see Remus massaging his temples.

"And we'll see what happens when I don't score any points next game!" James threatened back, but Sirius smirked at him.

"You're going to put all your faith into our seeker, then? And ruin your chances for winning the Cup?" Sirius' smirk grew the longer he spoke, and I swear, James started sweating.

Eventually after glaring at each other for a few moments, James groaned and rolled her eyes. "Whatever, chasers are still better," he mumbled under his breath, and Sirius and I high-fived.

"Oh why don't you two just go snog it out then," he glared at us, sticking out his tongue.

"James, that's no way for a Head Boy to act," Lily jokingly scolded, coming up behind him.

James cracked a smile, "definitely not around the beautiful Head Girl."

I expected Lily to smack his arm, or at least roll her eyes, but no, Lily _smiled_, and I even noticed her cheeks get a little rosy. I couldn't help but smile at my friends, nor say what I was about to say.

"Looks like you two should just go snog it out then."

Lily's slight blush turned red in a flash, and James grinned even more, biting his lip at her. My jaw dropped in realization, and I had a feeling the other three's had too.

"Lily, I should go get cleaned up. You should join me," I didn't wait for her answer; instead I just grabbed her wrist and pulled her up the stairs. I waited to speak until we were out of the boys' hearing range.

"You snogged him?" I tried to maintain my volume as I semi-exclaimed to Lily, who looked slightly mortified. "When did this happen?"

Lily bit her lip, looking reluctant to speak, "First of all, we did not snog… We shared a small peck around a week ago during patrols."

I smirked a bit at her, "oh, Miss Lilian, during your patrols? How scandalous."

She couldn't help but smile herself, "it was… Magical, to say the least. We were just talking about animals, and I ended up getting around to him being an animagi. I just realized how much he's grown in the last few years…"

"Lily that's great, really. But why aren't you two going together yet?"

"Well, Miss Izzy," she took the tone I'd used earlier, "I'm a lady, so we're going to the Three Broomsticks together next week." Lily looked so happy, much happier than I'd ever seen her when she talked about James. I was happy too, knowing that she'd finally seen the great man James had become.

"But Izzy, you really should clean up. You get really smelly after Quidditch practice," Lily semi-teased, and I nodded begrudgingly.

"You're telling me all about your date as soon as you come back next week," I grinned at her, grabbing my towel from my trunk.

Just as I was walking into the washroom, Lily added, "and then you'll tell me about your deal with Sirius." I could almost hear the smirk on her face as I shut the door.

_Damn._

Once I got out of the shower, Lily wasn't in the dorm room anymore, and I silently thanked Merlin. I was in no way ready to talk about my relationship with Sirius, despite how long it'd been since we got back together.

The past months of our school year had gone by with a pretty repetitive schedule. Throughout the days, we'd go to our designated NEWT classes, then we'd have lunch, and then we'd practice our "extra" spells which McGonagall had been supplying us with, a new one every fortnight. We'd learn our spells, and then McGonagall would call us all to her class, watching how well we preformed, but she had yet to explain to us why we were learning them. Every time one of us asked her, McGonagall would just reply, "did I say you could ask questions? You'll find our eventually." It was getting more and more nerve-racking.

Despite our secret practices, we spent a lot of time practicing Quidditch, thanks to our fearless leader James. He was so set on winning the Cup this year, that we drill whenever we have free time, leaving behind numerous bruises, annoyances, and leads to a lot of us falling asleep in odd places. I was fine with the practices most of the time, I mean, I got to spend time with some of my best friends, and I got to play the game I love. After Hogwarts ends, I don't see us playing a lot of Quidditch, so might as well get the most out of it now.

Besides Quidditch and spells, school had been pretty boring. A few snogging in a broomstick closet, a few roams around the castle, even a small cry when I was alone by the lake (I'm going to miss Hogwarts, okay), everything was normal.

The term was coming to an end, so Christmas was coming, and although it was bittersweet, I was excited to have the holiday. Vi and Fabian had just announced that they were getting married, and they invited us all to the wedding. It was so nice to have something so happy to look forward to, despite what we knew was out there.

"Ack!" Someone had grabbed my hand and pulled me into a closet as I had been walking down to the Great Hall for supper. My hair was still dripping wet as I glared at my company. "That wasn't nice."

Sirius grinned, "I missed you." He pulled his arms around my waist, kissing my forehead. "This bloody secret means I only get to hold you at certain times of the day."

"Well that'll change a bit once we go on holiday, won't it?" I smirked up at him, wrapping my arms around his neck. "You don't regret the secret, do you?"

He half-shook his head, "I dunno… If it's what you want, but we're going to have to tell them eventually… And we've got a habit of making it known on Christmas." We both grinned at each other, remembering our kiss under the mistletoe at James' house a few years ago.

"Mmm, that was a _good _day," I reminisced.

"Yeah it was… How about we reenact it?" Sirius smirked, pulling me closer into a kiss.


	40. It's Not Good to Spy

"You know, this is a lot like the night of Slughorn's party," I smirked up at the lovely redhead in front of me who was furiously looking for another earring. "It seems like James makes you all flushed."

Lily's cheek turned into a rosy pink, but she tried to turn away before I could notice, so I decided to let it go. "I just need to look nice, that's all."

"Well, Lil, you look amazing. He actually might pass out once he sees you," I grinned in her direction, as she put in her earring. Lily really did look lovely, despite how casual she was dressed.

She took a deep breath, "we've never been on a real date… This is crazy. Me, Lily Evans, going out on a date with James Potter, the trouble making marauder."

"Who's also Headboy, an excellent Defense Against the Dark Arts student, captain of the Quidditch team, and a great friend. Face it Lily, he's a catch."

She laughed nervously, and then hesitated before asking, "then why didn't you ever go with him?"

I frowned, completely taken off guard by her question. "Huh?"

Lily nodded slowly, "I know you and Sirius have your thing, but I'm sure James liked you at one point, and you him too…"

I opened my mouth just to shut it again. _Why haven't I ever gone with James? _"I… I'm not sure," was all I could seem to manage out. Her question had left me stumped.

Lily sighed, "it's just that you've always been so close to her, so his type. You always talk about what a great man he is… I mean, something has to have been there…" She wouldn't look up at me, but I was staring straight at her.

"I mean, Lily… James _is _great, but he's great like Remus is… I'm not going to lie and say I've never thought about it, I mean we- ugh… What I'm trying to say is that I see James as a brother figure now. He likes you, he always has, can we just leave it there?"

Lily smiled a bit to reassure me, "yeah, we can leave it there. Thanks, though." I nodded, and checked my watch.

"We'd better go, you've already kept James waiting an extra ten minutes," I chuckled, and we began to head down.

"That's a rule when it comes to men, Izzy. Always go late, because if he's really worth it, he'll wait."

I laughed at her joke, not sure if it was meant to be taken seriously or not, as we walked down into the common room. _Merlin, I'll miss this room next year_. As Lily took James' arm and left, I thought about the thousand times I'd sat in, read in, laughed in, even kissed in the room, and it made me feel sad all over again.

"Izzy, you okay?" Peter asked me, looking with concern.

"Oh, oh, yeah, sorry… So who's going?" I asked, shaking my head and showing a toothy grin.

Remus shook his head, stubbornly "nope, I'm not doing it. It's not fair to spy."

I pouted, "Do you have to have such strong morals? What if their date goes wrong and they _need _us to intervene?" I gave him an innocent smile, but Remus continued to shake his head. I huffed, "ugh, fine. Peter?"

Peter bit his lip and shook his head, "actually, I've got a date. It's my first one since Amber broke up with me…"

I nodded, feeling a bit bad for the bloke. He'd gone out with Amber for four months and she'd just broken up with him a few weeks ago. Peter had been pretty down since the break up, and we had all tried to help him in our own ways. Remus tried to get him to start reading more to get Peter's mind off her, but that didn't work since Peter hates to read. Lily tried to reassure Peter that it was Amber's loss and that how great a guy he was, but then he asked why she'd never gone to Hogsmeade with him, and it went south from there. James tried to get him to play exercise, but Wormtail's not exactly coordinated. I had tried to get Peter to do some research with me, but every potion we made ended by blowing up. It all came down to Sirius, who had just landed him a new girl, Not exactly my preference, but it was the only thing that worked so we all agreed.

"Right. So I guess it's just Padfoot and me," I tried to suppress the smile that was threatening to form. "You ready?" Sirius nodded and smirked a bit at me.

As we stepped out into the hall, I whispered, "Have you got it?"

He smirked down at me, patting his backpack. "One cloak, and two best friends, the perfect recipe for spying."

James

I messed up my hair with one hand as Lily held on to the other one. I just couldn't believe she was holding _my _hand, and it wasn't against her will. She was so beautiful, so kind, so humble… She made me nervous. I'd liked, hell, I'd loved this girl since I was eleven and first saw her getting sorted into Gryffindor. That was the moment I knew I wanted her to be mine. I'd made so many mistakes, but now here I was, with the girl of my dreams, holding _my _hand. And it felt so amazing.

I held the door open Lily as we walked into the Three Broomsticks. "I'll get the drinks. Butterbeer?" Lily nodded and smiled at me, going to find a table.

I came back to her with two butterbeers, pleased to see she found a secluded table in the corner, away from all the other Hogwarts students.

"So… Are you excited for Holidays?" I asked nervously, taking a sip of my drink. _You're James Potter for Merlin's sake. Stop acting so bloody scared. She's just a girl. _But she's _not _just a girl. She's Lily.

The beautiful ginger nodded, taking a sip of her own drink, "yeah, I suppose… Petunia's not living at home anymore, but I guess I'll have to see her and her husband on Christmas, not that she'll be happy about it." Lily said it casually, but I could see the hint of sadness in her face.

"Hey… Uhm, Izzy and them usually come to my house on Christmas for a few hours… Do you want to join? I mean, only if you want." Again, I was nervous. It wasn't like Lily had never been to my house before, but we that was before we had ever snogged.

A blush crept to her cheeks and she nodded, "I'd like that, actually."

I grinned at her, holding her hand in mine. We talked about lots of things, school, Quidditch, what we were going to do next year, how I'd become an Animagi, even the spells we'd been learning for McGonagall. The date was going great, that is, until we went for a walk around the grounds and I'd asked her what was wrong.

"I've just been wondering… Have you ever liked anyone? Other than me, of course." I frowned at her question.

"Uh, yeah… I guess? Why?"

"Who?" Lily ignored my own question and stared at me with her gorgeous green eyes. I could feel them staring into me, who made me nervous all over again.

"Um, you know… I dated a few girls in fourth and fifth year, but I wouldn't really say I was serious about any of them…" I hesitated, but she kept watching me. "I, uhm, liked Scars at one point, like a million years ago."

Lily looked like she'd gotten the answer she was waiting for, and I could feel my heart pounding as she pursed her lips slightly. "Why didn't you ever ask her out on a date?"

"I, uh… Well, I mean, we never felt it was right. We snogged once, to try it out, but honestly, Lil, it was so long ago I barely remember. It was such a short phase and it wasn't important… I see her as a sister now." As I rambled, Lily looked more and more ticked off, which was weird because I'd never seen her as the jealous type.

"You snogged her? The girl your best friend was in love with?"

"Well, yeah, but it was like so long ago, it was even before they ever went out. Before I even knew he liked her!" I was panicking now. Was this going to ruin it for us?

Lily sighed and nodded slowly, "sorry, I didn't mean to pry… I was just wondering if there were any left feelings, and now that I know there aren't, I can finally do this."

I looked at her confused until she pulled me down to her, pushing my lips into hers.

As she kissed me, I thought I heard the sound of crunching snow near us, but I ignored it. I mean, come on, the woman of my dreams was snogging _me_, James Potter.

Izzy

"You snogged my best friend? Are you kidding me?" Sirius angrily asked as he ripped the invisibility cloak off of us. We were far enough away from James and Lily so they wouldn't be able to hear us, but that didn't make the situation any better.

"Yeah, but Sirius it was long before I fell for you! We were practically kids, I mean, it was fourth year! It didn't even lead to anything," I tried to stay calm, but I was kind of freaking out.

"Then why'd you never tell me about it? Izzy we got together the year after that, you didn't think it was relevant information that you'd snogged my best friend?"

I groaned, "no, not really! It didn't mean anything!"

Sirius rolled his eyes, "sure, that's why you didn't want to tell me about it, right?"

"Yes! Exactly! How are you not getting this?" I was getting more and more annoyed. How dare he be mad at me? It didn't mean anything!

"Izzy, you know about everyone I've ever snogged, so it should only be fair that I know who you have."

I rolled my eyes, "yeah, that's because it's not that hard to know who you've snogged. It's practically every girl in and around our year. That's my three compared to your thirty!" I was ticked off now, glaring at him.

"Oi, what's that supposed to mean? You've never had a problem with who I've been with in the past," Sirius was just as mad as I was, and now I could tell he was offended.

"Yeah, well don't you dare play me off as the bad guy when you've been with _everyone_, you think that doesn't suck for me? Seeing every girl on you everyday."

"It's not like I ever snogged your _best friend_ and then didn't tell you about it. And hey, it was your idea to keep us a secret, it's not like I actually lead any of those girls on!"

"But you want to, don't you? You can't do this, just being with one girl. Just admit it, you can't handle being with just me," I was angry, but that was something I definitely didn't mean, nor wanted to say. Sirius looked hurt for a second, and then angry again, but he stormed off without saying anything.

I cursed under my breath, dropping down into the snow. _Bloody hell, Izzy. You're an idiot. _


End file.
